from the perfect start to the finish line
by not.so.tragically
Summary: \\you think you can help? you can't...you don't know a thing about me, about my powers — X-Men!AU
1. destroy the middle

_"And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones_ _."_

* * *

"Maya."

Maya simply blinks once, pulling herself back from wherever she had just gone and focused on her teacher's voice. Looking around, she saw the entire classroom was empty, it was only her sitting in the back alone. She pushed papers off of her desk, dropping them carelessly in her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Her eyes remained straight, never completely acknowledging her teacher. Standing up, she walks to the door, face unchanging.

"Maya," her teacher calls again, so she simply stops at the door. "Listen, I know it's been hard on you since Marnie died, it's been hard on all of us. But, your grades are falling and I don't want to fail you this semester. Just try harder, okay? If not for yourself, for Marnie, don't you think that's what she would've wanted?"

She doesn't offer a nod or any signal of affirmation when she slips out the door, leaving her teacher alone.

 _Marnie. Why'd she have to mention Marnie? Why does everyone feel it's necessary to mention Marnie?_

Her bag knocks lightly against her left leg, and it's comfortable again. Locking herself in her mind again, she exits the school, not turning her head to the whispers of her name. Strands of her red hair fight against the wind, but she doesn't make a move to fix it. She's off school grounds and taking the long way home. Maya really doesn't speak much at all anymore, she doesn't do much of anything. Not since Marnie died.

 _Marnie_.

Some people thought it was just an excuse she was using to be lazy or not do anything. But, they weren't there, they didn't see what she saw.

 _They didn't feel what she felt_.

It had already been 9 months, but in Maya's head it only felt 9 minutes. And that's how she lived. In a constant state of silence, of pure silence and anguish. It was never displayed on her face, never heard in her voice, but she felt it in her heart. That's where it mattered most.

Marnie was sitting in her heart, laughing and telling secrets, and batting her brown eyes. She talked about crushes and pink skirts, smiling all the while. So, Maya never understood how anyone moved on, how two month of grieving was enough. Nothing would ever be enough for her.

It's almost dark when Maya gets back home. Her parents sit at the kitchen counter, waiting for her to come home, in every sense of the phrase.

"Maya!" Katy exclaims, rising from her stool. Maya continues walking to the stairs, not even shifting her eyes away from the goal. "Where have you been? Your father and I were worried sick about you."

Still, Maya doesn't answer her. "Maya, Maya!" Shawn yells, coming from behind the island. "Didn't you hear your mother talking to you?" But, Maya keeps moving, walking up the stairs to her room, not slamming the door behind her.

Shawn didn't mean to yell at Maya, he wasn't an authoritarian, not in the least. He just wanted Maya to speak to him. They tried everything they could. They took her to her to the best therapists, which just ended up being 90 minute sessions of silence. Katy tried speaking to her alone, seeking some sort of emotion or response. Shawn drove with her, sometimes at night, hoping she'd open up. Then, they took her phone, then her computer, then her room door. It wasn't punishment, they just wanted something that would elicit some sort of reaction from her.

Instead of normal 'teenage' tantrums, she simply took a shower and went to sleep like she did every night since Marnie's funeral.

Maya followed her routine almost like a religion. She got up at 7:20 on the dot, took a shower, and put her black coat on over her clothes. She ate her breakfast, most times in complete silence. Then, she drifted through the school day without speaking, and came home, the long way. When she got home, she dropped her bag under her desk, took a shower and went to sleep.

Maya lived on an endless cycle, and it was the only thing keeping her sane.

That, and Marnie in her dreams.

As Katy turns to Shawn, eyes brimming with tears, he envelops her in hug. "I just want her back, Shawn."

"I know, me too. It's like when Marnie died, she took Maya with her." Katy's sobbing into his shirt when the house phone rings. Reaching around her, still cradling her in one arm, he answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Shawn Hunter." The voice is mature and strong.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"My name is George Feeny. I can help your daughter Maya."

"What? How do you know about Maya?"

"A colleague told me about her, and I believe I know how to help. I will be there tomorrow at noon, make sure Maya is there." He hangs up the phone without so much as a goodbye.

Katy lifts her head from Shawn's shirt, "Who was that?"

His face is wrinkled in confusion. "George Feeny."

"I've never heard of him."

"Neither have I. But, he says that he can help Maya."

"He can?" Katy's voice is hopeful, and she finally smiles genuinely at Shawn.

"He sounded pretty sure of himself. It's worth the shot."

Meanwhile, Maya stands in the shower, water pouring over her closed eyes. Behind her eyelids, she sees movies of her and Marnie, young and innocent. The steam fills the bathroom, as she cages herself in deeper, trying to keep it from happening again.

The bathroom products rise again, and the water begins to flow from the sink, rising upwards.

She searches for control, but all she can see is Marnie, so youthful and vibrant.

Items in the bathroom levitate now, even the water from the sink travels in the air.

 _"Marnie."_ She allows herself to say her name, crouching over in the shower almost breaking down. The water's flowing over her body as she sits on the floor of the shower.

Memories of Marnie rush in like a flood, and she knows she can't control it this time.

 _Laughter._

 _Her blue skirt, she loved that skirt._

 _Freezing cold, it's w_ _inter time._

 _Long way home._

 _Dancing around._

 _Squealing._

 _Car tires._

 _Marnie._

Maya forces herself out of that place, opening her eyes again. She struggles for air, and tries to regain her control, not wanting to slip again. Grabbing the bar inside the shower, she finally stands to her feet and turns off the water. Sighing, she pushes away the shower curtain to inspect the damage.

Thankfully, it's not too bad this time, just a few bottles gone and water on the floor, she can clean it up.

"Maya?" It's Katy, again. "Someone's coming to see you tomorrow." Her voice was hopeful, waiting for Maya's answer.

It wasn't going to come.

She hears Katy's footsteps padding away softly, as she wipes up the water on the floor and shuts the cabinets under the sink.

Honestly, she's confused. Nobody came to visit her, not since they realized there was no point. She wouldn't speak to anyone, not friends, not family, not even Marnie's parents anymore. Then, they just stopped coming altogether. They didn't ask for her on the phone, they didn't call for her when they visited, and she didn't try to make them come back.

Whoever they were, it wouldn't be any different, this person would be wasting their time, and hers, by visiting.

So, when she's called downstairs to meet this mystery visitor, she's not surprised it's two people she's never seen before. This was probably some unknown relative of hers or Marnie's believing that they could get through to her.

Stiffly, she sits on the chair next to the window, eyes zeroing on the two people sitting on the couch.

They both seem old enough to be her father, and their faces look as if they know a secret. Neither of her parents are in the room, but she knows they're close by, listening.

She doesn't know why they're here, especially if they already know that she doesn't speak to therapists. And she knows she shouldn't, but it's not exactly something she can help anymore.

Listening intently, she can hear their assessments of her buzzing around in their heads. _"Very petite; redheaded; blue eyes; **quite small** ; no clear reaction to or of us; stoic expression_ _—_ _"_

 _"You know, Maya..."_

The voice almost startles her, but her composure is something she's been able to train, so her face doesn't register surprise or shock.

 _"It's not polite to listen to my thoughts, or Mr. Brennan's, without our consent."_

"You're not alone, Maya. See, George and I, exactly like you." The one that she presumes to be Mr. Brennan speaks to her, actually speaks. George, however, continues staring at her. She can no longer hear his thoughts, and she's able to block out whatever messages he might be sending to her. That much, she's been able to control.

Scoffing, Maya rolls her eyes at his statement. "Are you sure about that?" Her voice is raw, like she hasn't used it in months.

Demonstrating how wrong they were, she refocuses her energy and watches intently as Brennan's face changes to complete awe. Every car, lawnmower, garden gnome, and other objects left outside now sat at eye-level outside the window on the block. It doesn't take as much out of her as it used to, and she holds it for a minute more. George keeps himself focused on Maya. Everything outside crashes, as they return to their previous position, and Maya tilts her head slightly to the side.

Brennan turns his head back to her, wonder plastered clearly on his face. "She'd do well there, George."

"That she will."

 _"Well where?" She asks him, knowing he was waiting to hear her, like that, again._

 _"At a school, with people who understand, different abilities, but all alike in a sense. All mutants."_

It's been more than difficult for Maya to be alone in this, in controlling things and reading thoughts. But, the word 'mutants' sounded disgusting, and she refused to think of herself like that.

 _"We can help you, there. You can learn to control this."_

 _"You can help? You can't.. You don't know a thing about me, about my powers."_ She's more than reluctant to share more, but he has to know what he's getting into. _"_ _There's_ _more to this, than you know. It's more than just the mind and other stuff, it's-it's—"_

 _"Stronger than you could ever imagine."_

"Yeah." She responds out loud accidentally, confirming what he said.

"We'll have to speak to her parents, George." Brennan breaks in the conversation, with physical words.

"They'll say yes." He sounds so sure of himself, Maya actually believes him.

It almost makes her smile.

Almost.

* * *

And it takes a bit, ( _a lot)_ of coaxing on Brennan's part, he was more the charmer, but they agreed to send her to the school. After promising it wasn't a nut house or mental institution or anything of the like, Shawn and Katy consented. But, not after talking about it with Maya, though it was more of a one-sided discussion.

"Baby girl, if you don't want to leave, please tell us, say something." Katy begged. Maya only sat on the couch, looking between her parents, legs crossed under her body. Shawn held Katy's hand tightly, hoping Maya'd burst out in tears, and say she wanted to stay. That, of course, didn't happen. Her suitcases sat packed right next to her on the floor, and a car waiting to take her to the school. "Alright, well, I guess you should get going." Katy gave up.

"I love you, Maya Papaya." Shawn calls her by an old nickname as Maya stands to her feet in front of her parents. "Please, take care of yourself. _Please."_

"I love you, baby girl." Katy quickly kisses her forehead, walking Maya to the door.

But, Maya hesitates with her hand on the door knob, and whispers back, "Thank you." She only hears Katy gasp when she finally pushes out the door, dragging her suitcases behind her.

The driver quickly comes out to Maya's side, helping her put her luggage in the trunk. Slipping in the backseat, Maya watches the home she's lived in for 15 years from behind the glass of the window. It grows smaller and smaller when they begin to drive down the road, yet, oddly, she feels completely serene.

"Miss Hart," The driver calls from the front. "I've been told to inform you that this will be a lengthy drive. And if, at any point in time, you should need something, just notify me." He returns his full attention to the road when Maya barely nods in reply.

Finally, she stretches out across the backseat a few hours into the drive using her black coat as a blanket and falls asleep. She dreams heavily, slow images, steady movies, all of her and Marnie.

Sometimes they're bad dreams, horrible, heartbreaking ones; other times, they're happy and blissful dreams.

However, when she awakes, like most nights, she can't remember it. It's often hard differentiating what's reality and what's not for her. What felt like minutes had actually been hours, when she sees the sky starting to tinge orange.

"Uhm, 'scuse me?" Maya starts, her voice is thick with sleep. Looking out the window she sees they're still driving out on some quiet road. "When will we be reaching the school?"

"In approximately 4 hours, M'am." He calls back. "Do you need anything?"

Taking in the scenery, she's tempted to ask where they are, still, she feels she has already spoken too much. The sun's just begun to set, and the sky's turning pink. It's so beautiful, she's overcome with the urge to draw it. She holds herself and watches the sun go down, taking the light with it.

Then, she's filled with the need to tell the driver to turn them around, and take her home. But, she then remembers why she's going to this school, so she can go home and tell her parents that she's alright, and that she's so sorry for everything she's put them through.

Truth be told, she's a little scared to control it. Up until Feeny had communicated with her mentally, it had always been up to her and her emotions. What she was doing wasn't exactly control, but at least her powers weren't going rampant in public. _Anymore._

Yet, there was still one important aspect she hadn't been entirely able to reign in properly yet (two, actually).

She could hear things, things she had never wanted to hear, and it took most of her concentration to block it all out. That's why here grades were slipping, if you spend 90 percent of the class period blocking people out, you can't hear what's being taught.

That's why she needs this school, she needs help. She needs help from people who understand her.

So Maya swallows all doubt and hesitation, and relaxes the rest of the way. She spends the rest of the drive picturing the school and the students, and wondering where she would stay. She thought about the 'mutants' she would encounter. Logically, she knew they probably wouldn't have pink skin or purple eyes, yet she couldn't help the images filling her head.

Looking at the driver, she deduced that he was most likely a 'mutant' as well. There was no way any completely normal human could drive for over 13 hours without stopping. Or maybe he was just good? Impossible, he had to be a mutant of some sort.

Recalling what she had been told about the school, it was in the panhandle of Florida, and not able to be located without precise directions.

Of course it wouldn't be easy to locate, it was a school for people like her, it wouldn't have been safe. She's noticed that the entire route she had been awake for was all grassy plains, empty land. Not a single soul out there.

Running a hand through her wild red hair, she speculated that her hair might be part of it. It used to be a dark strawberry blonde, but as Maya got older it turned to an actual red.

 _As her powers developed it turned to an actual red. What if her body turned red? She's a 'mutant', it's possible._

She spends the rest of the drive trying not to think about that, choosing to focus on what would happen at this school.

Being a somewhat hidden girl, she's never really had to deal with bullies or anyone other than Marnie. Occasionally, she would hear a remark about her hair, but never anything really hurtful. At her school, she was basically ignored by everyone.

"Ms. Hart?" The driver interrupts her deep thinking, and she almost jumps. "We're here."

Inhaling deeply and gathering up her strength, she nods as the driver pulls up to a huge house.

It was a house, not a school.

Hundreds of thoughts slammed her at once about what could have been happening, and why she was here, and if the driver was actually who he said he was. But, when Maya saw Feeny and Brennan come through the front door of the home and relaxed a bit.

 _Even if they had tricked her, she knew she was more than strong enough to fight back._

Brennan came to her car door and opened it for her, gesturing her for her to get out. Stepping out cautiously, she gazed at the mansion before her.

It had to be at least 3 stories tall. The outside walls were a pale sandy brown, like beach sand, and it looked something like an old English manor. The lights were on in every front window and Maya felt like she had stepped into a different time period.

"Hello, Maya, I trust your ride her wasn't unpleasant." Without telling her to follow, Brennan walked back to the home, standing next to Feeny again.

As she got to the front door, she was bathed in light and it seemed like, _indeed_ , every light in the house was on. With the high ceiling, chandelier, and the wooden banister on the winding staircase, Maya decided that it was an old English manor. It was just misplaced in Florida, and coincidentally became a school. For mutants.

Absently, she was walking directly behind Brennan, but she wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying. He was pointing and talking animatedly, but she wasn't really hearing him.

Instead, she was making her own observations about the place.

First, every single room was huge. Not one room he had showed her was of normal size, not even the kitchen. Second, the "classrooms", weren't actually classrooms. They were actually sun rooms with a some desks, chairs, and a chalkboard at the front. Third, the staircase to her room was exactly 54 steps, and it was exhausting.

Maya's room wasn't anything too grand, unlike every other room in the house. And she was actually happy that it was nearly the same size as her room at home. Her bags already sat by the door, and there's a basic grey sheet and blanket on the bed. The only sources of light in her room were the lamp on the desk, and the one in the ceiling, the walls were a boring taupe and in her head, she's ready to paint on the walls. Scenes of her and Marnie painting her bedroom walls quickly ran through her head.

"Maya?" Brennan calls her name and she looks back to his face. He's not old, but he's not exactly young either. But his smile is enticing, it's the most youthful thing about his face. It portrays a sense of mild rebellion, yet it's warm and inviting. It makes her want to smile as well, just for the sake of smiling.

Nodding, she signals that she understands, hoping it will suffice. When Brennan nods back, she exhales slightly. Turning her back to him, she looks at the window in the corner of her room.

Suddenly it opens and the chilly autumn air blows in. Whirling around her heel, she inspects Brennan once again, and the boyish smirk he gives tells her that was his doing. "Goodnight, Maya." The door shuts behind him and Maya's left alone in her room.

She takes a seat on her bed, allowing the days events to wash over her. Slipping off her black coat, she saunters over to the open window. The wind blows over her face in a cool rush. Stars she's never seen before greet her in twinkles, and Maya loves how they look. There's a fountain right in the middle of an open field of grass below her window, and the water blows in cool sprays on her skin. Sighing, she turns back to her room.

 _This will be her room._ Part of her new life. A life where she will learn to control her powers. Then she'll be able to go back home and love her parents. She'll be able to tell them everything and they will forgive her.

So Maya decides to get started. Unpacking her bags is light work, she's filling drawers and hanging clothes for 15 minutes, and she's ready to hop in the shower.

In her bathroom, Maya stares at the handles for moments before turning on one and checking the temperature. After several seconds of cold water, she turns on the other one and waits for steam to fill the bathroom before undressing and stepping in. There's no bar in the shower she notes, as she surveys the small space. Exhaling slowly, she forces herself to wholeheartedly focus only on squeezing bath soap on to her washcloth. She lets the lavender aroma entrance her when the soap falls into the crevices of her body.

For the entire 11 minutes of the shower, Maya focuses on everything trivial: the color of the walls, the number of tiles in the shower, the water pressure. She does everything she can not to let the thoughts come back into her head.

Maya does everything she can not to think about Marnie. She fights it as hard as she can, but it still happens. She sits in it for a few seconds, but she feels herself getting too deep; so, she pulls herself out of the shower, wrapping a blue towel around her shaking body. The place is too unfamiliar to relinquish any kind of control for even seconds. The glass of the mirror is steamed up and she wipes some away to survey herself through the daze that always follows.

Red hair is stuck together in clumps falling down her shoulders. Her irises are tinged with a deep red and she stares intently at herself until it goes away. Once it does, she steps back into her room, and see nearly everything she had just put away, in a mess on the floor.

Throwing her head back with a deep groan, she picks her night clothes out of the pile and gets dressed again. Cursing under her breath, she refolds her clothing and places them back where they belong.

Shutting her closet doors, she pads back to her bed, laying down to face the window in the corner, which is still ajar. Tying her hair into a bun, she climbs underneath cold sheets, and does her best to fall asleep.

* * *

After a night of what felt like a completely dreamless sleep, she wakes up to her ringing alarm clock.

 _7:45 AM_

Swinging her feet off her bed, a white paper on the floor in front of her door catches her eye. Lumbering over to the paper, words are written in black, cursive letters penned neatly across the page.

 _Good morning, Ms. Hart,_

 _Before you can actually begin taking classes, there will need to be a full evaluation of your powers and abilities so there will be proper class placement. It is absolutely necessary that you showcase every ability you possess at this assessment. The evaluation will take place in the lowest level of this school, the Danger Room._

 _I will be the only one with you Maya, do not be afraid to reveal any power that you have. It would be in your best interest to do so._

 _With the proper class placement and regular sessions with me, we can help you control your powers._

 _There are, however, other students at this school. Therefore, at one point or another, you will have to verbally interact with people besides myself and Mr. Brennan._

 _If you truly want control Maya, you will receive it._

 _But, you must be willing to reveal every card you have._

 _We can help and will help you._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _George Feeny_

* * *

So, just two things to note:

 **Not _everything_ in this story will be entirely based off of every X-Men comic in existence. ** The story will frequently deviate from the traditional comics and such, the whole thing won't be parallels or this would be incredibly boring. A few things that don't belong in GMW (Maya's red hair) are because of the X-Men parallels, and things that don't belong in X-Men (Maya's blue eyes) are because of GMW. The comics and movies act as inspiration and a huge foundation for this story, but it will not be the whole thing.

 **Everything won't be entirely accurate.** Uhm, I don't really think anybody knows the exact layout of the X-Mansion, so don't slaughter me if I rename things or put rooms in different places, or different GMW characters with different personality traits. And, more likely than not, powers will not be based on personality traits.

I think that's it.

Yep.

 _ **Also, I barely ever revise because this like 4,000 words and I really need a Beta. Like seriously. Any recommendations?**_

 _XOXO, - Minnie_


	2. it's a waste of time

_"Most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs."_

* * *

After eating an apple alone in her room for breakfast, Maya takes a (quick) shower and rereads the letter.

 _The Danger Room?_

It took quite a bit of wandering on Maya's part, before she actually finds the Danger Room. It was in a silver hallway one floor under the mansion, with many doors on each wall, so she chose the one at the end and hoped she was right. Stepping in the room, she was surprised to see it was completely empty, save for the mirror taking up one wall, and the lights in the ceiling.

She entered as she did every room she's been in at this house, cautiously and hesitantly. Nobody was there and she concluded that she must have been lost and turned to leave; but, just as she did a voice slightly startles her.

 _"You're not lost, Maya."_

She whips her head around, instinctively looking for Feeny in the small area.

 _"Where are you? Where am I?" Her questions were aggressive, and she was unsure about being here once more._

 _"This, Maya, is the Danger Room." Feeny answers cryptically. "It's a simulator room, which is used for power assessment and training. With newer students, it's used to display their abilities, so we can 'class' you. This room can handle anything there is to throw at it."_

Nodding, Maya surveys the room once more and gives a small snort before muttering to herself, what she thought was mentally. "I'm supposed to 'display' my abilities in a steel box?"

"No, Hart." She recognizes the slightly somewhat voice as Brennan's and relaxes only a fraction of an inch at the slight familiarity. The room then changes from it's grey surroundings, to a quiet street. Jumping, and then sucking her teeth, Maya's left in awe at what just happened. "In a simulator. Please, show us what you can do."

Walking around slowly, Maya reaches a reluctant hand out to touch a parked car, when her hand stops at the metal surface, she jumps again.

 _It's real._

She spins around on her heels and sees that street continues on in both directions. There aren't any people, but a few buildings here and there.

Deciding that she would take this as seriously as possible, she inhales slowly and begins to lift the objects surrounding her. Holding multiple items at once takes a good portion of her focus to raise them high over her head, and she lets them stay there. Almost proud of herself for exhibiting her powers, she does her best to steadily return them to the ground.

"All abilities, Hart. We know you can do that...but what else aren't you showing us?" Brennan prods from his unknown location.

Shrugging her shoulders, she sticks her hands in the warm pockets of her coat. "I don't know." She replies in her gravelly voice, still not used to her own vocal cords.

"There's more, we both know that." Brennan continues, searching for her answers. "How do we get in there?"

She's not sure if it's question for her, or to himself, or maybe to Feeny, but she knows what she needs to do.

 _"Are you sure this room can handle anything?" She questions, tentative about truly giving up her well-trained control._

 _"Anything, Maya." Feeny's voice is like that of a comforting parent, and she begins to trust him._

 _"Danger. I need danger."_

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"If you want to see more, I need danger." Making it a point to say 'more' and not everything, Maya rolls her neck._ _She knew there was one other way, but she refused to go to that place, not yet._

The scene transforms from the quiet street to burning grounds on dark night. The area is in total ruins and flaming objects are falling from the sky. It's almost unbearably hot and the air is thick and heavy. The only light comes from the fires, otherwise, it's totally black.

What appears to be a school desk set on fire comes rushing towards her out of nowhere, and Maya acts on pure instinct. Raising her hands is nothing more than a protective instinct for herself, and she turns her face away, and her subconscious focuses on shielding herself. Hearing a muffled noise and then a crash, but feeling nothing, Maya opens her eyes to inspect the damage. The school desk is now on the ground, in multiple pieces, no longer set ablaze.

Content with her display, she allows herself to relax. Her shoulders slump minutely, and her guard is down. She's slightly tired already, and breathing harder than she should. But, it's not her fault. She's never voluntarily used her powers for protection, it's always been small shock waves of her powers, like little bursts of air. There's never been a reason for more...except for that one time—

Maya whips her head around to the sound of low-pitched whistling. There's a semi-truck coming at her at rapid speed, and she reacts without completely thinking about it.

And she knows what happened.

Something completely different has been awakened inside of her, stronger than her own being. This thing, this _animal_ , is like the person that hides in the shadows cast by the brightest days. This _animal_ is pure instinct, pure emotion, it's the knee-jerk reactions that she will never be able to control.

It's a separate person who's partially her, and partially something completely different. She's been entirely sure about 'it' came about, but it hasn't left since Marnie—

Whatever it is, it's stronger than anything she could to on her own.

So when the semi-truck comes at her, she doesn't even flinch. She barely blinks. The truck stops a few feet away from her, and she tilts her head a bit and watches almost like a second person in her own body, as the truck is torn apart. By the end, it is reduced to the scrap metal it started as on the production line.

 _"Turn it off." Maya's voice is shaking, even telepathically. She **has**_ _to get out of this room. Everything's moving too fast, and she can feel 'it' bubbling up inside her again. Like an unwanted rising in her throat, she tries swallowing it back._

When there's no response, she uses her voice. "Turn it off!" She yells, louder than she has spoken in months.

But, it works. Immediately the simulator is turned off and she pushes herself out of the silver door, forcing the bile that's been rising to her back into her stomach.

She sees Brennan and Feeny waiting for her near the intersection of another hallway. And her walk picks up into a light jog. Maya knows she's holding her emotions too close to the surface but she can't contain it.

"What the hell?" Maya seethes when she's finally in front of them. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Brennan shrugs, and his face twitches with vague confusion and annoyance. "You asked for danger, Hart."

"I didn't ask you to try and kill me! Do you know what you almost did?" Her anger is flaring faintly, but she's internally pacifying her—it?— again.

"What did we almost do?" Brennan prods. The wonder in his voice is not lost on her, and for the first time she turns to look at Feeny who's face is passive, totally void of everything but neutrality.

In that moment she feels more like a science experiment than a student, like a lab rat instead of a real person. "Nothing." Maya pushes past them, red hair rolling in waves behind her. It almost looks as if the fire of her anger has changed her hair color to the deep red in the pit of the flames.

Her eyes have shifted from their normal stormy blue, to the persistent scarlet always hiding just beneath.

 _It's always hiding just beneath._

* * *

She stomps her way upstairs, noting how the hallways are eerily empty, and goes to her room. Shutting her eyes, she leans back against the door, warring with herself. Knowing she can't force it back any longer, she runs into her bathroom and empties the contents of her stomach in the toilet. Cradling the bowl, she coughs up the last bits and rests on her knees. Gathering her strength, she gets back on her feet to wash out her mouth. Not even bothering with her reflection, she's already made a decision.

Ripping her suitcase from under her bed, she prepares to throw her clothes in the suitcase, when she hears a knock at her door.

Thinking it must be Brennan or Feeny, she doesn't answer. But, the rapping is hesitant and gentle, so she opens the door.

On the other side of the threshold stands a smiling brunette, who doesn't look a thing like Brennan nor Feeny. "Hi!"

"Hi..?" Maya's barely got time to ask her who she is, when she's bounding into her room, plopping down on her bed. Looking around, the brunette makes flying assessments of the room, not actually introducing herself to Maya. The lights flicker quickly, and she believes it must be a simple shortage.

Then in walks a curly haired boy in a flannel shirt with a wide grin, followed by a tall brown haired boy with tan skin and sunglasses on. There's a total of three uninvited people in her room, none of whom Maya knows, talking all at once. Her face is wrenched in plain confusion at what's going on until she hears a question directed at her.

"Wait, she didn't introduce herself did she?" The tall boy says, scratching the back of his neck. Maya shakes her head, chewing on her tongue. "The brunette, that's Riley, the one with the flat butt right here," he points to the boy sitting on his right. "That's Zay, and I'm Lucas."

Riley finally stops tittering and speaks to Maya. "I'm sorry, I just get excited with new students, especially girls. I only have these two, and it's not always fun." She extends her hand to Maya, looking expectantly. Maya's palm barely touches hers when she's enveloped in a tight hug. Believing she must be feeling the after-effects of her earlier power usage, she ignores the small, but insistent, pulses she feels. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a hugger. Blame my parents." Releasing Maya, Riley looks straight into her eyes, and sits back down on her bed.

"I know it'll be quite difficult, but please try not to fall in love with me." Zay grins cockily, resting back on his hands. "I've been told my looks can be quite _chilling_."

"Oh my god, one time, Zay! It doesn't even make any sense, and it was a terrible joke!" Riley rolls her eyes in fake annoyance. The lights flicker again, but nobody seems to see it, except Maya.

Lucas smiles at Maya. "They'll grow on you." He speaks with experience lacing each word and oddly, Maya believes him. She tries to look at his eyes, but can't see past his red sunglasses. Riley and Zay continue a quick back and forth about the joke while Maya and Lucas watch in slight amusement. "Guys! Hello, we're in someone else's room and she has no idea who we are." He turns back to her, eyes dancing with light.

"Oh, yeah! Have you been assessed yet? What level are you?" Riley's rattling off questions faster than Maya can process them.

Maya looks back towards Lucas who nods and chuckles, "You'll get used to it."

"Well, I guess we should introduce ourselves first right?" Zay grins again, and Maya's puzzled look must have been a question in itself. "You know our names, but we're at school for mutants, we haven't met _properly_ yet." Everyone rises from her bed and walks out of her room, and Riley grasps Maya's hand, leading her down the stairs. Dragging Maya behind her, they take her out of side door, through a few bushes and into a clearing.

She recognizes the area as the field a little ways off from the garden beneath her window. It's green and open, with a few thick, leafy trees scattered around.

If she were in remotely any danger, she knows she would have felt something.

 _They wear their emotions like damn shields. Especially Riley._

Their energy is genuine, and the excitement over her presence was completely authentic in all aspects. She finds herself trusting them already, and she wonders if this part of one of their mutations.

"Who goes first?" Zay asks. But, both Riley and Lucas already know the answer.

Zay always goes first.

"If you insist." Cracking his knuckles, Zay exhales deeply. He opens his hands and in a matter of milliseconds layers of frost are released from his palms into the air, covering a whole patch of grass. Growing more intense, the skin of his hands begins to turn an icy-blue in color. As he continues emissions of ice, the once warm air, takes a breezy chill. The icy-blue travels up his hands and over his forearms, ducking under the sleeves of his shirt. Slowing down, he soon stops completely, leaving an entire patch of formerly green grass, blanketed in ice.

Clapping, Riley and Lucas nod in his direction, as he blows on his palms and then shoves them in his pockets.

 _"Impressive."_ Maya finds herself speaking in her head, rather than out loud.

"Okay, my turn!" Riley exclaims, letting Zay shuffle into her previous position next to Lucas. "Watch." She calls over her shoulder, smiling profusely. Raising both hands upwards, fingers out, palms facing down, electricity crackles in the very core of her body. Dancing from the tips of her fingers, sparks of electricity, turn to balls of light shooting from her wrists. Multiple waves and colors play in the sky while Riley laughs. Giving the last few bursts of light, she spins back to face her friends, taking a small bow.

"Lucas." Zay inclines his head towards the 'stage'. "C'mon, now don't be shy."

Tentatively, Lucas steps away from Maya, hands balled into fists. Reaching up to fiddle with the rims of his red-tinted sunglasses, he looks back to Zay, who gives an eager bob.

His hands are visibly trembling and Maya can actually feel his anxiety, and it's making _her_ feel anxious. Walking over to him, she finally speaks. "You don't have to..." She breathes, stopping him in his tracks. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to."

Exhaling slowly, he drops his hands, smiling sheepishly. "One day."

"Alright, Your turn!" Zay's voice rings.

Maya realizes that everyone's eyes are on her, looking expectantly. Pointing to herself, she raises her eyebrows, and they smile and gesture for her to 'show'. Lucas steps back over to Riley, crossing his arms over his chest, a hopeful smile on his face.

Millions of thoughts buzz through her head, many versions of herself arguing about what she should do. Finally, she shakes her head and steps in front of Riley who's wearing a huge grin on her face. Slowly, she refocuses her energy and listens intently

It's not the first time she does it on purpose, and she knows that it will work. Receiving the neural messages like they're her own, she's able to completely hear everything, her memories are like movies. "When you were a little girl, your brother bit the face off of one of your favorite stuffed teddy bears. It's been years since it happened, and you know you should have forgiven him, but you can't bring yourself to do it." There's much more, but she removes herself quickly, knowing she'll go too far.

"Well, I'll be damned. You're telepathic?" Lucas asks in awe. "We don't have a lot of those here."

Riley's still staring at her with an easy joy, and Maya _literally_ feels the fragility hidden behind her warm smile. "We don't have any actually. We have a walk-walker, a flyer or five, super speed or strength, 'shape-shifters' all in different forms, different styles. But, you're the first telepath we've had here." Plopping down on the warm grass, Riley gestures for Maya do the same. And when she does, Lucas and Zay follow in suit. After a few minutes of silence, Riley talks again. "I hope you get leveled with us." Maya's once again perplexed expression when she hears 'leveled' causes Riley to explain. "It's like school, where you have grades, we have 'levels' here."

"What level are you?"

"We're all Alphas." Sighing and falling on her back, she adds, "We're the only Alphas." Looking towards the sky, Riley huffs. "Which is why everyone hates us."

Not even Zay can argue with this fact. Lucas, Zay and Maya all lie back on the grass, watching the clouds pass over in the sky. Riley plays with the electricity crackling at her fingers, while Zay creates snow crystals from the moisture in the air.

She understands why they're all together, why their bonds are so tight.

 _They're all that they have._

* * *

The sun's just beginning to visit the other side of the world when they return to Maya's room and they find her assessment letter placed on her bed, along with a schedule.

Carefully opening the sealed envelope, she hopes for something good, without knowing what she was actually hoping for.

 _Hello Ms. Hart,_

 _After conversing with Anthony Brennan, and a few other teachers, (some of which you will have), you're level placement is:_

 ** _Alpha._**

 _I hope you have rethought your decision to leave._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _George Feeny_

Turning back to their eager faces, Maya only gives a small nod when they break out into face splitting grins.

"I'm so happy you're an Alpha! I'll finally get to have girl talk with someone!" Riley pulls Maya into another tight hug, electric pulses running through her body. "You'll have all your classes with us, so we'll show you where they are. We have our mornings free because the teachers are usually in other sessions, so we'll get to talk."

Skimming through her printed schedule, she notices that she has 'Teletherapy' with Feeny just before breakfast.

Reading over her shoulder, Zay sees it as well. "Teletherapy? What's that?" He scoffs in mock jealousy.

Bravely, she gives it a shot. "It's a telepath thing, you wouldn't understand." Her tone is filled with fake snobbishness and she wants to cringe.

Lucas and Riley stare her open mouthed, and then break down in fits of laughter at Zay's faux scowl.

They resume laughing and talking but Maya continues mulling over 'Teletherapy'.

 _Teletherapy? Well, duh, it's therapy of the mind, but what would she need teletherapy for?_ _Of course for the obvious, but he couldn't know about that...could he?_ _She's hid it so well, there's no way he could know. He can't know. Nobody knows. She's too strong, her composure never fell, it never fell, it never fell, it never_ _—_

 _It fell._

 _Right after 'she' bubbled up inside of her, when she was yelling at Brennan and Feeny._

 _It fell._

 _He probably thinks she's insane._

In the end, they make plans to meet up for breakfast the next morning, and when she's finally alone, Maya wonders if it was actually real. If she actually talked to people, if she actually made friends. It crossed her mind that the whole thing might have been a mental projection of the friends she might have, if she wasn't so _her_. But, she chooses to believe that it was real, that people are actually that nice, and interested in her.

Maya knows the sparks she felt when Riley touched her hands, the visions she saw when she voluntarily entered her mind. The chill that took the air when Zay displayed himself to her. And the anxiety that racked Lucas' body when it was time for him to show her his powers, and one other emotion that she couldn't quite seem to place. Whatever it was, it wasn't foreign, it felt familiar, just not in the way she was receiving it.

Falling back on her bed, she thought about how she almost left this morning. It was an abrupt decision, and of course, not entirely thought out at the time. It seemed like the right thing to do, or more, the easy thing to do.

Run, whenever things seemed to get hard.

 _How was she supposed to get better if she left?_

She'd give this a shot, being a semi-normal teenager, who makes breakfast plans with friends and goes telepathic therapy in the mornings.

Absently, she considers why the other students didn't like the Alphas, was it like a 'group-pack-follow the leader' mentality, and they were caught on the wrong side of it?

No, it had to be so much more than that. She felt everyone's mood shift into disappointment, not guilt.

 _It was so much more than that_.

* * *

Her alarm goes off as she flips over in her bed, groaning quietly to herself. Sleep hadn't come easily last night, and it was a struggle to release herself into the dream state that she longed for. Maya's mind was moving a hundred miles a minute, and her inability to fully control it worried her.

 _She shouldn't have used her powers on Riley yesterday._

Rarely had she used her telepathy voluntarily, and when she had, it left her mind greatly unsettled and distressed. Subconsciously, she could hear everyone's thoughts and only through her own concentration could she block them out. But, voluntarily entering and listening to them always left her bothered afterwards. She could never control how far she went into their minds, and almost always, she had gone too far. Forcibly, she had ripped herself out of Riley's mind, but she knew she hadn't exited 'properly', because something still felt off. If she stayed out of Riley's thoughts in the first place, she wouldn't have to worry about the consequences.

Stripping as she crossed into her bathroom, Maya rolls her necks then turns on her shower, allowing the water to heat up. When the mirror begins to fog up a little, she steps inside and allows her body to become accustomed to the temperature before bathing herself.

As quick she's in, she's out of the shower, and brushing her teeth with a towel wrapped around her chest. After spitting and rinsing her mouth, she removes her hair from the ponytail she tied it in before she went to bed. Throwing on a white t-shirt and her jeans, she makes sure to pull her black coat off the back of her chair and tug it on over her clothes. She does her best to mentally prepare herself for the day's events before exiting her room.

After more wandering, Maya finally finds the room Feeny requested to meet her in. It was moderately lit, and it looked like a stereotypical psychologist's room, including the chaise next to the taupe walls. Feeny sits with his ankle atop his knee, sipping tea out of a dark brown mug.

"Maya. Sit." With a nod to the chaise opposite of him, Feeny continues drinking his tea. The chaise squeaks a bit as Maya takes a seat, pushing back strands of her hair and shifting. "Are you nervous? You look scared..."

"No, I don't like therapists too much." The thighs of her jeans stick to the chair and Maya tries to move them quietly.

"That's understandable, but why?" Maya doesn't respond, simply shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not a therapist, Maya. You can lead this conversation." Still, she doesn't answer and Feeny knows she's starting to shut down.

 _"Would you prefer we communicate like this?"_

 _Flinching slightly, Maya exhales slowly. "I don't know, I guess."_

 _"Don't worry, I won't venture anywhere you don't want me to."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"So talk to me, Maya." Feeny tries._

 _"About what?"_

 _"Your family, school, anything's good."_

 _"Well, I don't talk to my family and I'm failing every class in school. I don't have any friends, so there's no social life or boyfriend or anything. I'm not sure what I believe or who in I believe in so, I can't be that religious. I don't have much interest in anything at all so there's nothing I really like doing. That's it." Immediately, shields are being built in Maya's mind, trying to keep Feeny from prying._

 _"Why don't you talk to your family?"_

 _"There's nothing to say."_

 _"Why are you failing in school?"_

 _She hesitates for a moment, but only for a moment. "I don't do the work."_

 _"Talk to me about your powers."_

 _"What happened to 'you lead the conversation'? Or did that just get boring?"_

 _It's obvious she's attacking him, she's on the defensive, and he recognizes that it's something she's not used to. It's something she's never done before so everything doesn't sound as harsh as it should. "Tell me about your powers, Maya. I would like to know about them."_

 _"I hear people's thoughts." She states distantly. "All the time, I hear everything they think, everything they want to say. If I focus, I can see their_ _—I can see their memories, I can feel their emotions. I can feel everything."_

 _"When did this start happening?"_

 _"I don't want to talk about that." Immediately, Maya shuts down that portion of the conversation, forcing Feeny to steer in another direction._

 _"And what about the other parts?"_

 _"I can move things with my mind, you know that." She says matter-of-factly._

 _Pressing a bit, he continues on. "We both know it's a bit more than that, Maya."_

 _"Honestly, I don't know. I don't know how the rest of it comes around." She's not lying, she doesn't know where it all comes from. But, she knows that whatever it is, is a part of her and she might not be able to control it. It's not easy for Maya to understand much of anything about her powers._

 _"Do you know what the X-Gene is, Maya?"_

 _"Were you not listening to the part about school?" She huffs._

 _"This wouldn't be taught in school. The X-Gene is what we believe to be a gene that carries genetic mutations on it, giving us our powers. But, I also think there may be something else that gives you yours."_

 _"Like what?"_

 _"I'm not entirely sure yet."_

 _"That makes two of us."_

Straightening his jacket, Feeny speaks. "That's great, Maya. I'll see you tomorrow, same time."

It takes Maya a second to gather herself again and return to the natural world. When she realizes what he just said confusion pervades her mind. "That's it? No diagnosis of borderline personality disorder? Or a prescription of super anti-depressants like every other doctor I've been sent to?"

"I don't think you need all of that Maya, and like I said same time tomorrow." Feeny nods and gives some what of a kind smile, and drinks his tea.

She rises to her feet, blinking twice at Feeny before exiting the room. Maya walks back to her room in a dream-like state, thoroughly searching through her mind to figure if anything felt different. She then pilfers through bits of her mind she had tightly locked away, making sure those had remained untouched as well. After confirming that Feeny hadn't gone anywhere in her head, she exhales slowly, leaning back against her closed door.

Somewhere in mind, she remembers that she's supposed to meet Riley and the others for breakfast. But, the seemingly extensive use of her powers in the last two days, has her completely unnerved. Throwing herself on her bed, she shuts her eyes and tries to sleep, but something keeps her completely awake.

 _Or someone?_

* * *

 **Yo, yo, yo. Hi! I'm very exhausted, but just from life ofc.**

 **I have a funny feeling this story will be kinda long, I won't give up on this story specifically because I know where I want to take it, but character development doesn't happen in one episode of a TV show does it?**

 **No, it takes like a whole season! (I've been using that analogy a lot for some reason.)**

 **Once again, I am in _desperate_ need of a Beta, like seriously. I suck with grammar y'all.**

 **I'm glad you read this, please tell me what you thought! I'd love to hear from you!**

 _- **XOXO, Minnie.**_


	3. deep end

_"Where the blackness burns beneath."_

* * *

In a sense, Maya knows she's sleeping, but she also knows her mind is completely awake. Her brain refuses to slow down, and she's processing everything that's happened to her in the last two days. She's awake, but moving doesn't seem like a plausible option. Her body's levitating over her bed, and she hopes that nobody comes in her room. Images and conversations from the week playback in her mind, and multiple parts of her brain work furiously, trying to file and place everything. This isn't the first time that this has happened and she guesses that this her body's way of compartmentalizing.

Something like a red and white aura start encircling her body, a clean type of protection against anything that could happen to her in this state. Seas of emotions rush through her head, and she feels everything inside trying desperately to revert back to normal. A wind picks up as result of the aura, and she lets herself to succumb to it. Her body's taking on it's own form of restoring her: both physically and emotionally. Time seems to slow down as she allows the presence to overtake her.

Opening her eyes slowly, she sees that she's not in her room, but in an empty white room. She's not dressed in her regular dark red clothing, but rather in all white. Her hair is pinned back, and it is also white. There's a red tattoo of a bird on her right wrist, and she's sure that she has never gotten a tattoo before.

"Hello?"

 _"Maya."_ The voice seems to come from everywhere, yet nowhere at the same time. It feels like she's talking to herself, and still she also senses a separate spirit in the room. Yet, it felt so familiar, and she couldn't even perceive fear as a realistic emotion.

"Who are you?"

 _"You are going to have to listen, Maya. I will not be here, like this, long. I am the Phoenix Force. Simply put, I am the birth of the creation of all existence. I am an entity and I have many forms, and you are a host."_

"The birth of the what of all existence? What?"

 _"I was born from the creation of the universe, Maya."_

"Whoa."

 _"You are a host, one of few; this means that you house part of the power of all existence, Maya. It is a lot to take in, a lot to understand, and this is not even the beginning. The current state you are in, is a Phoenix protected aura, it is here to heal you. You are an empath, consciously and subconsciously, you absorb many emotions throughout the day. These emotions can take any kind of effect on your body, this aura, expels the negative effects. Do you understand, Maya?"_

"Yeah, I think I got it. So what's with this whole 'white, angel' thing?"

 _"This is the White Phoenix room, it's the core of creation. Your hair and clothing are white because this is complete peace."_

"Okay." She's taking great care in apprehending what she's being told. "You said I'm a host, one of few...there are others?"

 _"Yes, Maya. There are others. But, you are...different."_

"How?"

Before her question can be answered, she's drawn quickly out of the Phoenix room and back into her room. The aura has dissipated and she's laying on her bed, slightly dazed. Shuffling, Maya realizes everything that just happened was entirely real. It was not a dream, and the Phoenix is _real_.

There's a knocking on her door, and when her lights flicker, she knows who it is. Slowly getting to her feet, Maya steadies herself before walking to her door, and opening to reveal, a grinning Riley.

"Hi! How was your therapy thing with Feeny? I mean, technically, I guess you're not supposed to talk about it, and you don't have to, it's not necessary. I just figured that if you wanted to, you could." She speaks as she walks into Maya's room, once again, taking a seat on her bed. "I've noticed that you don't talk that much, I mean I thought it might have been the boys, or maybe it's just a general thing."

Nodding, Maya shrugs her shoulders unsure of what to say. Riley continues talking however, filling the emptiness. "It's okay if you don't talk, I mean obviously you can, but if you want to talk we can. We don't have to talk about you or anything. We can talk about something else."

Maya freezes momentarily, and subsequently saunters over and sits next to Riley. They sit silently for a few minutes, Riley lays back on Maya's bed, sighing quietly. "When you went in my head, what did you see?"

She stays silent, not knowing if she should answer the question or not. "Most of the people here, when they got their powers, they were outcasts, because nobody understood. Then, when they came here, they finally belonged somewhere. I could never relate to the feeling. I got my powers from my parents, my mom, more specifically. I'd hear them talk about not fitting in and I didn't get it, my parents always made me feel okay with it. They told me it was something to be proud of, not something to hate myself for."

Riley seems to be speaking out of nowhere, but Maya listens anyways. "I was worried that I would never get my powers, afraid that I wouldn't be like them. Then, I hit puberty and they finally came, and I was so excited. For like, a day. Once, I started shorting out every single electrical system in town, it wasn't as exciting. I should be able to control my emotions, and I can't."

Laying back next to her, Maya looks her in the eyes. "Everyone here has some story of how they got their powers, and then they were rejected by everyone they ever loved, and I don't have that." Quickly, she adds, "Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I'm so happy that they understood. Yet somehow, I don't think they will ever be able to truly understand me."

"I'm sorry."

This is all Maya contributes to the conversation, and both girls sit and reflect. Originally, Riley had come in the room glowing and happy, yet she brought up an oddly nostalgic air with her. As the moment diffused, Riley linked her hand with Maya's, and Maya didn't feel any pain when the electricity coursed thickly through Riley's body.

Maya is more relaxed in Riley's company than she has been with anybody else's. She knows this isn't her power, or Riley's, this is simply a feeling she has with her. So, she holds on to it, bottling it up, and locking it safely away.

The boys come knocking on her door, and so Riley shouts for them to come in. They enter with an energy that clears the dark air of her room, and brings around a certain light. It only takes Riley a second to shift back and join them in the light.

"Hey." Zay smiles, taking a seat on the floor by Riley's feet. "Who's ready for breakfast?" Lucas sits at the desk chair, and Riley and Maya sit up to look at them.

"I am," Riley exhales. "I'm starving." She leans into Maya, who doesn't stiffen at their proximity anymore. "There are chefs at the school, and they're good. But, we don't usually eat when everyone else eats.

Rubbing his belly, Zay agrees. "I've been waiting all morning, guys, can we please go eat now?"

"You're not dying, Zay." Lucas chides, tilting his head towards Maya as somewhat of a greeting. "But, whatever, _Iceboy,_ let's go eat."

The four stand to their feet and make their way out the door. Zay leads them downstairs, while a quiet Maya follows behind. She's surprised when they end up in the kitchen. Internally, she breathes a sigh of relief. She was afraid that they would be leaving the school to go eat and she was not sure if she would be able to go through with that.

Riley, Zay and Maya takes seats at the counter as Lucas begins to cook, much to Maya's amazement. They all carry on a normal conversation, discussing their class and each other and their mutations. All the while, Lucas starts making multiple things at once, a balancing act, and always seems to know when to pull it off the stove, at just the right time. He makes pancakes, and biscuits, and bacon, simultaneously, and none of them burn.

To the others, it was something that happened almost everyday, but Maya had never witnessed it before. Neither of her parents were very skilled in the kitchen. It wasn't that they couldn't cook, it was just that Shawn couldn't cook without starting a fire, and her mom only cooked about 3 different meals.

Lucas, however, was quick, he was agile. He seemed to be watching every pot and pan on the stove at the same time. Maya's too busy watching his hands to realize that he's been calling her name.

"Maya?" She snaps her head up to meet his eyes, which are hidden by his red sunglasses. "You okay?" Nodding, Maya smiles, and hopes that suffices as an answer. "Do you cook?"

She can tell he's trying to make conversation, if it was only something she was well versed in. Shrugging her shoulders, Maya gives an timid smile. "Not really."

"Would you like to learn?" His smile is genuine, and she finds herself incapable of saying no to him. Getting out of her seat, she comes around to the counter where he is, presenting herself. "Can you make pancakes?" When Maya shakes her head, he chuckles. "Okay, well, literally, all you do is flip the pancake." He picks up a frying pan with a pancake in it. Shifting a spatula underneath it, he checks the bottom. Seeing that it's done, he prepares himself. "Ready?" Wiggling his arm a bit, he lifts the pancake from the pan with the spatula. Nothing splatters on the side, it's totally clean. He grins at her. "Easy."

A few minutes pass, and he sets the pancake in a plate with the rest. He pours another pancake in the frying pan, and tends to another pan. "Can you watch that one for me?" She knows he doesn't need her to watch it, but she understands what he's trying to do.

Lucas scrambles the eggs, while she grabs the spatula and checks the bottom. It's a golden yellow color.

Like the ones in the diner that she used to go with Marnie on—

Forcing that thought out of her head, she refocuses on the task at hand. Lucas isn't watching her and Riley and Zay are deep in conversation. Quickly, she slides the spatula under the pancake and flips it. Waiting for the batter to splash back at her, she grimaces. When all she hears is a sizzle, Maya relaxes her face once more.

"Good." Lucas smiles, scooping the eggs out of the pan and onto another plate.

She decides to allow herself a bit of freedom for the morning.

So when breakfast is ready, she eats happily and proudly. Maya doesn't talk much, but she listens a lot. They tell her about their classes and power management. Zay tells her, with bits of pancake falling out of his mouth, that the school is just like a safe haven for them, they learn how to control themselves, and their emotions. Feeny wants them to be functioning parts of a society in which humans and mutants can coexist peacefully. Their teachers tell them that they are mutants, but that's not all they are.

In class, they learn about their basic subjects, and they also do extensive training daily to exercise control over their powers, as well as to cope with the mental distress that can come with their powers.

"Does everyone have to train like that?"

"No, just us." Riley explains after she downs most of her orange juice. "Because our powers are really strong, it takes a greater toll on our mental health, or something like that."

They're all sitting at the counter: passing around plates and pitchers, like it's Thanksgiving. Zay makes jokes and if nobody laughs, he does. Riley tells stories about their school. Lucas remains quiet, only offering correct details to Riley's stories when she can't remember them.

Maya feels somehow connected, and she doesn't know if it's actually her, or something about them. Whatever it is, it has her mind totally enraptured with them. She can feel different sets of emotions, still, she's never been so unsure about what they are. It takes a lot of her energy not to zone out of the conversation, and zone into them.

* * *

After cleaning up breakfast, Maya and Riley go back to their rooms. Preparing for her first class, she gathers a notebook filled with paper, and a pencil. She enters her bathroom, examining her appearance. Her face looks bland as it is void of all makeup, as usual, her red hair makes her skin look paler (and she swears, that it's a darker red than usual). Blue eyes tinged with specks of red peer back at her and she hopes it hasn't been like that all morning. Exiting her bathroom, she almost takes off her coat, but it feels too familiar to rid herself of it.

 _She needs to feel safe._

Riley bounces in moments later, eyebrows raised. "Ready?" When Maya nods, she leads her downstairs, left of the kitchen, and opens a set of wooden doors, introducing a classroom. Long desks fill the room, and Lucas and Zay sit at their own desks. Riley takes a seat in front of Zay, and Maya takes hers in front of Lucas.

"Good Afternoon." A curly white-haired woman stands in front of a chalkboard, wearing clothes that looks like she was two decades too late. By no means did she look old, she only dressed as if it was still the 1970s. "I see we have a new student." She gives a nod to Maya, who dips her head slightly in return. "My name is Sunita Kossal. But, I prefer to go by 'Sunny'." Her boot-cut jeans have a peace insignia on the side, one that matches her t-shirt. Her skin looks like it's been kissed by the sun and her voice sounds like it could quiet a storm. "Don't worry Maya, we aren't too far along in the semester. There's only a few things you've missed."

Sunny goes through her desk drawers, pulling out sheets of papers, stacking them in a pile. Eventually, it gets to be around 10 sheets of paper and a a small book. before she hands them to Maya. "This is the work that you've missed, we have just started learning about the Age of Enlightenment. Have you learned about that already?" When Maya shakes her head, Sunny chuckles to herself. "We're discussing the beginning of that period tomorrow, so it won't take you long to catch up."

She begins speaking as Maya looks over the pages of work she had received from her teacher. They're filled with words, notes, all color coded and in order of chapter. In the middle of the sheets slides out an envelope with the words _'For Later'_ scrawled across the front in pink ink. Looking back up at her, Sunny only winks at Maya, who slides the envelope back in it's place.

The rest of the class goes by quickly. Sunny reviews what set off the Age of Enlightenment; Zay does his best to stay awake; Riley listens intensely; Lucas takes notes; Maya reads the printed notes Sunny gave her, trying to catch up. By the end of the class period, she's only reached the middle of the second page. Sunny proceeds to hand out guided notes for reading the next few chapters of their textbook, and calls out a goodbye as she dismisses them. However, she calls Maya out to speak to her.

"Maya! Can I have a moment?" Sunny smiles from her seat behind her desk. Maya hangs back, standing closer to the door than to her teacher. "Don't worry, Maya. I don't bite. I just wanted to know if you had any questions about school here..." She trails off when Maya stares back at her blankly. Chuckling, she continues. "George said you weren't much of a talker. That's okay with me. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But, you should know that I teach an art class here. The studio's on the roof, if you ever want to drop by and see if you like it, feel free."

When Maya's lip quirks up slightly, Sunny knows that she heard her. Pushing out the door, she sees Lucas waiting for her(?), a half smile resting on his face. He's leaning against the wall, like a standard cool guy in a 1980's movie, all he needs is the leather jacket and motorcycle. This thought causes Maya to chuckle mentally.

"Riley wanted to wait for you, I told her that it would be fine if I walked you." Lucas pauses momentarily. "Is it?" She nods slowly, and they begin the walk to their next class. "Did you like Sunny?"

"She's nice." Maya whispers, annoyed by the way her voice rasps over the vowels.

"Good. I think she's cool." An awkward silence passes between them. "Do you like it here?"

"It's nice." She repeats.

"You don't really say anything much. I've noticed that. You're very quiet." He states these things like they textbook facts, and not observations about her.

Quickly, without thinking, Maya counters; subconsciously seeing what he said as an attack. "You never take off your sunglasses. Even when we're inside. I noticed that."

But, he doesn't take offense to what she says, instead he laughs. "Yeah, I don't." He doesn't offer an explanation for it, so she doesn't ask for one. She's said too much anyways. "You'll like Mr. McCoy. He's kind of dorky, but he's a cool teacher. If you like science of course." He leads her down another hallway, and she simply trusts him because she has no idea where to go. "At least I think so." The conversation feels forced and tense, but she can sense those unrecognizable feelings that he has, bubbling up.

They finally reach a metal door, which leads into a lab-classroom. A man with light brown hair, and thick rimmed glasses stands next to the lab tables in the front of the class. He's wearing a white lab coat over a plaid shirt with a black tie. When Maya enters with Lucas, he smiles widely, and waves. "Hi! Take a seat, anywhere. Well, uhm, not on the floor, at the lab tables. Wait! Not at the lab table _s,_ at _a_ lab table, unless you're capable of sitting at multiple tables at once." Maya sits on the lab stool next to Lucas, one table away from the front. "Hello, I'm-I'm Dr. Henry McCoy, but you can call me Hank." He stutters through an introduction, and adjusts his crooked tie. "I'd actually prefer that you call me Hank, I'm not too fond or 'Dr.' or 'Mr; it makes me sound old.'"

He looks way too young to have a PhD, and he sounds nervous when he talks. Yet, it's adorable in a way, and it makes Maya smile a bit. "So we have some new students—well, not some, _a_ new student. And your name is...?"

"Maya." She finishes for him. He pushes his glasses up on his face, and sticks his hands in his lab coat.

"'Maya', meaning 'dream or illusion', in Sanskrit." Hank repeats back to her. "I took some time to arrange some notes that you'll need for my class, it's not a lot, but it's important." He hands her a packet of paper, covered front and back in his handwriting. "I was going to print them, and then I figured it would be nicer to do it myself, something personalized." Walking to the back of the classroom, Hank shuts off the lights, and a projection of images is set on a white screen that hangs from the ceiling. "We're in the middle of ionic bonds right now, I'm not sure if you've learned about them before." Stepping back over to the white screen, he begins introducing pi and sigma bonds.

Looking at the page of notes he handed her, she notices that his script isn't messy or slanted. Instead, it's neatly printed, and every letter is clean. The paper is free of smudges and marks. She flips to the last page and sees a note written at the bottom. The words make her want to laugh, as it is cheesy and corny. And, it reminds her of someone she used to know yet can't remember.

She realizes that he's still talking and quickly flips open her notebook, to write down what he's saying.

By the end of the class, she has nearly two pages of notes. Hank stutters slightly, and talks a lot. He's not confusing as a teacher, but she can feel his anxiety emanating off of him. Focusing on not absorbing his feelings, she listens intently to what he says. It's obvious he knows a lot about what he's saying, and Maya's not surprised that he has a PhD anymore. Often he'll go a tangent when he reaches portions of the lesson, and it takes Riley calling him back to the topic for him to notice.

"I do that sometimes." He adds, when it happens for the second time that period.

A few minutes before the class ends, he speaks directly to Maya. "You've got a great group of people here, Maya." She's not sure if he's talking about Riley and the others, or her teachers, and she takes it as it goes. Nodding, she almost says thank you, but shuts her mouth instantly.

Hank gives somewhat of an awkward salutation, complete with a wave, and returns to sit behind his desk. Finally observing the entire classroom. She realizes that is, in fact, a laboratory with tables placed inside for students. Behind the white screen sits metal tables with glasses and tubes of different shapes and sizes, containing liquids of different colors. There are various contraptions sitting around the classroom, and they all look new.

Maya's gathering her books, exiting the class behind Lucas, understanding Hank's anxiety.

Oddly enough, the class periods are two hours long, yet they feel shorter than that. Or maybe she was just expecting something different out of her first day. Even though she's only had two classes, she holds different thoughts about the school now.

It's her last class that she's worried about.

Once her mind settles in that place, she's barely able to focus on Algebra or French. Both classes pass by in a blur, and she doesn't even remember what she was supposed to do. Maya's almost sure her Algebra teacher is nice, and her French teacher has a hint of an accent, but that's it. Her worry has overtaken almost every bit of her. And when she recognizes the feeling, she immediately buries it, fearing the consequences of it's expression.

When Zay leads the group downstairs, below the first floor, she knows where they're going. Every nerve in her body is telling her to run, for her own good, and probably everyone around her. She fights the feeling, pushing it to the back of her mind, and enters the Danger Room behind Zay.

This time, the room is no longer empty, a woman with black hair pulled into a high ponytail and brown eyes stands in the middle of the room. She has bangs that hang over her eyebrows, and she's wearing a black bodysuit. "Zay, Riley, Lucas, and our new student, Maya. Welcome." This is all she offers as a greeting to her. "Get dressed." Against the wall to her right, are four bodysuits, all identical to hers, one with Maya's last name printed on the collar. She takes her time stepping in the suit, realizing she'd have to take off her black coat. Quickly, slipping it off, she hangs in place of the bodysuit, and zips up the suit over her clothes. "Since we have a new student, we won't do anything new today, I want to see if you've practiced what I taught you. Let's get started Johnny." The scene of the room changes to an empty plain, like the field the went to the day before. "Zay, you're first."

Rubbing his palms together, Zay rolls his neck. "I'm ready."

"Then let's go."

A fire starts a few feet in front of him. It instantly blazes hot and thickly. Raising a hand out, the fire dies down as the frost is released. "Good, now more, Zay." The frost on the ground solidifies to ice, actual solid ice. Once again, Zay's hands turn into deep-blue, and the color begins creeping up his forearms, covering his suit. "Relax your body." As the air gets colder, Zay's ice structure builds higher, and higher. Suddenly, he stops, and closes his hands into fists. A mist covers the ground, and a wall of sits a foot above his head. He slowly opens his hand, and the ice structure breaks apart slowly. However, it doesn't crumble, it merely separates into hundreds of shards of ice.

Zay raises the shards in the sky, then creates a circular motion with his hands, and the ice follows. It starts to create a cold wind, as the shards reassemble, as he tries to control them. His focus slips from the ice momentarily, as he sees how fingers have turned to a translucent icy color. "Zay!" Looking back up, he sees the shards falling quickly towards them, and reflexively throws his hands up to stop them. The shards, stop, then break, turning into water.

Turning to his teacher, he smiles playfully. "You shouldn't have gotten distracted, Isaiah. You almost had something really beautiful there. Your powers are only limited by your imagination. Think, but don't stay in your head." Zay nods, taking her commentary to heart. She gives him a small smile, and then turns to Riley. "You now."

Their surroundings shift from the empty, and now wet, plain, to a city. It appears to be night, and the street's empty. They're standing under power lines, that appear to go on for miles in both directions.

"Alright." Taking a deep breath, Riley closes her eyes. She's extends her arms out, like opening herself up for what's next. The electricity from the power lines begins to flow into her body, and she willingly accepts the energy. Lines and lines of blue electricity is absorbed by Riley before she stops. Mumbling something unintelligible, Riley brings her hands together, cupping them. The energy molds into the space of her hands, and as she expands the space, the electricity forms into a ball. It only takes her a few minutes to reign in the shape of her ball. It grows bigger as Riley widens her hands. It crackles from the tips of her fingers, releasing it from her core.

Her face glows, and her hair begins to fly up. "Control _it, Riley."_ She mumbles as she lets the ball develop more, freeing the energy once more. Yet, her more body keeps delivering stronger currents; she didn't know she had taken in that much energy. Expelling more than she originally believed, the ball expands faster than she planned. She grew afraid of what could happen, if she didn't—couldn't— stop the ball. Riley tried to contain it, and when she realized she couldn't, she forced it into the dark night sky. Multiple cracks of lightning formed and filled the sky. Static still snapped at her fingers.

Breathing out deeply, she feels her body jerk. Her mind is tired, and her body's more than alive at the moment. "That was great, really excellent. Just don't be afraid of yourself, Riley. Control does not have to mean fear." She muses, patting Riley on the back, retracting her hand as Riley is still physically _charged_. "Riley, Zay. You did great, today. You can go now." The simulator is shut down, as Riley and Zay strip off the bodysuits, hanging them back in place. They wave to Lucas and Maya, and exit. "Lucas, Hank and I have something for you. We decided the glasses were a little too unstable, so this was made."

Pulling her other hand from behind her back, she reveals a black visor. In between the pieces of black material, is a thick, dark strip of red. Lucas breaks out into a huge grin. "Is that—?"

"Yep, ruby-quartz. Here, close your eyes." He follows her directions, shutting his eyes as she removes his sunglasses and replaces them with the visor. Opening his eyes, he smiles. "It's secure, so you don't have to worry about them falling off, or anything like that. There's also a little control next to your right ear, so you don't have to 'full blast' all the time."

"This is great! Thank you, so much." His gratitude is genuine, and it makes her smile.

"Would you like to test it out?" Lucas nods eagerly. "Fire it up, Johnny." The setting shifts to a classroom. They're standing in front of rows of desks. Their teacher leans against the desk behind, and crosses her arms over chest. "Try the first desk, only."

Focusing on the desk closest to the door of the classroom, Lucas brings his hand up to the control. Moving the dial slightly, a red optic beam is emitted, and the desk is obliterated, and a hole is put through the wall behind it. Maya jumps back in shock, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god." Lucas tenses slightly at her reaction.

"Maya," She calls from her position a few feet away from her. "I want you to lift the second desk." Drawing her attention away from Lucas, Maya turns to the desks in the classroom. Centering her mind, Maya lifts the all the desks in the room, until they nearly touch the ceiling. "That's nice, Maya. But I said the second desk, only." Setting all the desks back on the ground, Maya tries again. This time, she concentrates on the second desk. It rises slowly, and shakily, and she finds it hard to hold it up. And once she thought she had it, she unintentionally flung it to back of the classroom, where, because of the force, it smashed through the wall. "Your powers are strong, Maya. But, if you can't master it, it's dangerous. The same goes for you Lucas. This time try not to put a hole in the wall, both of you."

They spend the rest of the period practicing. Maya lifts individual desks, and Lucas blasts individual desks. By the end of the period, they've only put three extra holes in the walls, and broken a window.

"Good work. It only took you about 90 minutes. Shut it down!" She yells, yawning. "You can go." Maya and Lucas zip down their body suits, stepping out and returning them to the hooks. As Maya slides her hands back into her coat, she's called again. Lucas walks out, telling her he'll wait for her. "I know we didn't get properly introduced earlier. I'm Harper." Her teacher smiles at her, speaking with a softer tone than she has all class period. "I meant what I said about your power, Maya. It is something intense and _brilliant_. And, if you can't learn to control, it's going to control you." It sounded cliché enough, and Maya knew it was true.

Harper pulls her hair from her ponytail, letting thick waves of black fall down to her shoulders. "Trust me, I know." She gestures to the door, silently letting Maya know she can leave.

Maya walks out with her heart smashing around in her chest. Lucas, true to his word, stands by the door, waiting on Maya. "Hey."

She tilts her head towards him.

"So, I know you're probably scared of me now, right?"

"Why? 'Cause you can shoot lasers out of your eyes? No, not at all." She didn't expect to say that, it was something she'd normally keep in her head. But, Lucas has this way of speaking that makes her want to respond.

"Yeah," He scratches the back of his neck. "I wouldn't call them lasers, but I guess you're right." They walk upstairs in silence, and Maya doesn't attempt to break it. "Without this," Lucas points to the black visor. "They're not controllable, I can't do short 'lasers'. I can only give everything, all the time. If I didn't have the red sunglasses, I'd never be able open my eyes with hurting someone."

Jamming her hands in coat pockets, Maya makes a noise of understanding. "Oh."

"I don't like to hurt people."

"Me too."

* * *

Maya wakes up at two in the morning with her throat as dry as the Sahara. Refusing to drink water from the tap, even though logically, she knows it's just as clean, she tiptoes down the stairs. Maya looks around and sees most of the lights are off. Flicking on a single light in kitchen, she surveys the room, and finds it empty. Moving as quietly as she can, she goes through the cupboards, looking for a glass. As soon as she locates one, she goes to the fridge, collecting water from the dispenser. Her glass is still half empty when she hears someone clear their throat.

Jumping a bit, Maya spins around, looking the intruder in the face.

A boy she's never seen before, is leaning back against the counter, with a smirk on his face. "Hi." She doesn't respond. Maya feels naked with her hair pinned up, not falling in her face, and her black coat sitting upstairs. In that moment, she wishes she had the ability to phase herself through the floor. "Who are you?" Still not answering, the boy continues. "Well, I've never seen you before, and I've seen everyone here, so I'm guessing you're the new girl. The new Alpha." The word 'Alpha' doesn't roll off his tongue like she'd expect. It's smooth, like every other word, no sort of contempt tainting it. "I'm Asher."

"Maya." She whispers so quietly she's not even sure if he heard her or not.

"So, Maya, what're you in for?" Words fall from his mouth beautifully, and she's listening to the way he forms syllables, and not what he's actually saying. "Or is that classified?" She shrugs her shoulders, and Asher nods. "I was expecting something a bit more grand, being that you're an Alpha, but since it's 2 A.M., I'll let it slide."

 _He has pretty white teeth_. She notices this even in the dim light of the kitchen. Asher's plaid blue pajama bottoms reflect the hazel color in his eyes. She's unsure if the specks of black are actually there, or if it's because of his t-shirt. They're in pretty close proximity and she wants to back up, but she finds herself unable to do so. "I'm new here." She speaks in that soft voice of hers. "I don't understand the divide between the Alphas, and the..." Maya trails off, not knowing what to say.

"The regulars?" Asher finishes for her. "Honestly, I don't understand it either, I just know it's there." His hair falls in his eyes, and he doesn't move it. "I don't really care about it, though."

"I'm telepathic." She blurts, mentally slapping herself for saying it to him.

"So you can read minds, right?" Maya nods, clutching her glass of water. "Cool, so what am I thinking?"

Looking at her feet, she licks her lips. "I don't want to read your mind."

"Why? Is my mind not good enough to read?" Immediately, she begins stuttering out an answer, when Asher laughs. "I'm joking, Maya. I know that stuff is kind of extreme anyways." He steps closer, crowding her space. "Is it fun? Knowing what everyone's thinking?"

"Sometimes, I don't want to know what people think of me." Maya breathes. She tries to widen the space between them, but the handle of the fridge digs into her back when she does. "Sometimes, I wish I didn't know."

It feels as if his eyes are boring into her soul, imprinting her brain. "That's understandable." His gaze falls to her lips, and for a split second she thinks he's going to kiss her. "I think this is one of the moments where I wish I knew what someone was thinking." Pulling back, his face is void of any playfulness it held before. Still, he winks as he walks off. "Goodnight, Maya."

She's still clutching her glass, breathing heavily. Taking a large swig of water, she refills the cup, and takes it upstairs with her.

He _flooded_ her. That's why she couldn't read his mind. It wasn't because she didn't want to, but he overwhelmed her with emotions, and she was unable to decipher which was which.

She wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but she knows one thing: _He's intense. And she's already wrapped up in it._

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men, like at all, or Marvel, or any of the characters produced by them. Hank McCoy, and all other characters based off of X-Men are not my ideas.**_

 **This turned out to be like 6,000 words. Oops. I have crazy huge plans for this story, so it's going to be incredibly long. I just finished this chapter and I've been writing it on and off for the better part of the last 3 weeks.** **I updated exactly one month ago. Whoops.**

 **Momma( tiramisuspice), if you're reading this, I understand you so much! It takes forever to get one chapter done, I don't know how you update several stories in a week. I can barely focus one!**

 **I'm going to be super busy this summer, I'm taking on double the course load next year, which is a bad idea now that I'm thinking about it.**

 **Also, I'm writing a Grey's fanfic, because why not?**

 **\+ I don't even know if I revised this or not. I can't remember it's like 3 in the morning.**

 **++ Hank McCoy is actually the most adorable little thing ever!**

 **The lyrics at the beginning are Deep End by Ruelle, which is kind of my favorite band right now.**

 **XOXOXO, Minnie.**


	4. hurts like hell

_"Inside my head like adversaries."_

* * *

 _"Maya, I'm cold..."_

 _"I know, I know Marnie. Just hold on." The sirens blared in the background as Maya cradled Marnie's body as close to hers as possible. "Please, they're coming, you're going to be fine. Marnie..."_

 _She wrapped Marnie's head with her scarf, trying to keep the blood from going everywhere. There was already a considerable amount on her hands and clothes, but she ignored it the best she could._

 _"You are so pretty, Maya." Every time Marnie said her name, Maya's heart clenched in her chest and she couldn't choke back her tears as she could **feel** the inevitable coming for them. _

_"So pretty, pretty eyes, pretty hair, pretty smile." She sounds drugged, and Maya doesn't care, she wants Marnie to stop talking, to save some oxygen. Yet, Marnie chats about everything there is. "What a beautiful last thing to see.'_

 _"Marnie, please, don't, you're gonna be fine." She couldn't stand to hear her speak, not when she was like this._

 _When she saw Marnie's breathing slow, she began to panic._

 _"Marnie?"_

 _No response._

 _"Marnie, no!"_

 _That's when it happened._

* * *

Jolting awake, Maya sits upright in her bed. She wipes the sweat that formed along her hairline and pushed off her covers. Glancing at the clock, she groans when she sees that it's only a few minutes past midnight. Maya gropes her way into the bathroom to splash some water on her face. Once she's nearly soaked the sink, she looks back up at her reflection.

 _She looks terrible._

That's the third time this week she's had the same dream. Every morning when she gets up, she looks worse than day before. It's evident and no matter how hard she tries to brush it off, people are starting to notice. And by people, she means Professor. (She's learned that they rarely call him Feeny. It's usually 'Professor' and the teachers call him George. And she's gotten into the habit of alternating between 'Feeny' and 'Professor'.) As the days go by, he's digging deeper and deeper into her mind, and Maya's handed him the shovel.

At first, they only talked about her powers, the X-Gene, and school: safe topics. But, as of the last few weeks, he's delved into her extended family, and not so close friends. It was only a matter of time before she began talking about Marnie: an unsafe topic. They skimmed the edge one day, but she only told that him she had died, not how and most definitely not Marnie's relationship with Maya.

Still, she refuses to let herself return to that place. Instead, she thinks of the new friends she's made. They've drawn her out of the dark, ugly, rigid shell she's made for herself. She finds herself in debates with Zay, over trivial things. It's never angry, he just makes terrible points and she has quick comebacks. Maya thinks about Zay and the cheesy jokes he says, and the ones that make her laugh. She thinks about Riley, who's vulnerability is hidden behind her electric energy. And she thinks of Lucas, with his 'lasers', and indeterminable emotions.

They talk a lot, her and Lucas, about everything and nothing at the same time. She learns that he grew up in Texas, and she tells him about her life in New York. There were some parts of their lives that they had overtly hidden from the other. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had cracked some barrier.

It's pretty obvious how Riley looks at Lucas, like he put the stars in the sky himself. It's not hard to see that he likes her back, and as time goes by she sees that they're basically bumbling idiots around each other.

To her it's adorable, but Zay finds them awkward.

 _"I don't think really think so." He chuckles one day as they talk about it. Or more Maya listens as he talks. Albeit, she was the one to bring it up. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Riley's a sweetheart and he might like her. Still, I don't think she's really his type."_

 _"Is he...gay?" Maya asks, leaning back against her bed, finishing their science homework._

 _Zay laughs boisterously, for nearly three minutes straight. When he's done wiping tears from his eyes, he answers her. "Lucas is not gay, believe me. I just don't think that Riley's for him. As friends, of course, anything more than that? Nah. He needs something a little more..." Zay trails off, leaving the sentence hanging in the hair._

 _"More...?" She repeats, flipping through her notes._

 _He shrugs as he spins back to her in the chair at her desk. "I don't know. More mysterious, maybe with a little wild side? And she's got to be ready to contain him." It's Maya's turn to laugh now. She shakes her head in disbelief. "Okay, you don't believe me. Lucas does have a bit of aggressive side, when it comes to something he cares about."_

They had changed the subject later, yet Maya couldn't get over the change in Zay's voice when he said that Lucas could be aggressive.

Exiting her bathroom, face dried, she returns to bed. Taking her place underneath her sheets, she closes her eyes. Yet, minutes pass and sleep still evades her. Flipping over constantly, Maya can't seem to get comfortable. It looks like she won't be getting back to sleep anytime soon. Opening the top drawer of her nightstand, she pulls out her sketch book and a pencil, and drags her chair to the window. Pushing open one side of the window, she looks out at the moon. She refuses to turn on the light in her room, so she sketches by the moonlight.

Originally, she wasn't sure what she wanted it to be. She wasn't even sure what she was doing, but she just let her pencil fly.

 _She had to do something to get to sleep._

* * *

The sounds of birds screeching at each other rouses Maya from her sleep. Seeing her sketchbook on the floor, she realizes that she fell asleep in her chair. Glancing at her clock, she sees that it's nearly time for her to meet Feeny. Stepping over her sketch book, Maya flings off her t-shirt, pulling a new one out from her drawer. Dropping her pajama pants next to her bed, she slips on the same jeans she wore yesterday and jams her feet into her socks and then the same Chuck Taylor's she's worn for the last week. Yanking her black coat from across the edge of her bed, she pulls it over her frame, and runs out to meet Feeny.

Bounding into the room, Maya's face is flushed as she sees Feeny patiently waiting for her arrival. "Sorry," she mumbles taking her seat on the chaise once more. "I overslept."

"It's quite alright," Feeny smiles. "It happens to the best of us."

Understanding that this would be the extent of their physical conversation, he talks to her on the plane they're most comfortable with.

 _"Can I ask you something, Maya?"_

 _"Do you want an honest answer?"_

 _"Preferably," Feeny chuckles._

 _Maya thinks for a minute. "Alright, I'll do my best."_

 _"Why do you wear that coat everyday?"_ _The question catches her off guard and she's not prepared to lie. Realizing her hesitation, Feeny continues. "I've noticed that you're always wearing it. Even when it's quite warm in here, you still wear it."_

 _Shifting slightly, she shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know, it's comfortable."_

 _"In 90 degree weather?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Can I tell you why I think you wear it?" Feeny asks, his tone changing into something more solemn._

 _"Fine, sure?" Her tone is nonchalant, but she actually wants to hear what he's come up with._

 _"I think," He begins, sitting up even straighter. "You wear that coat because it reminds of something, or someone_ — _that you left behind_ _? I don't know. And you wear it so you don't forget her or him or it. You use this coat as a shield, to protect you from whatever you think could hurt you."_ _Maya bristles at the mention of forgetting it, and he sees that he's struck a nerve. "I could also be wrong, and you actually do wear it because it's comfortable."_

 _"I don't want to talk about this anymore." She's steely now, and Feeny boxes away that conversation for a separate time._

 _"Okay, so talk to me about your parents. They seemed like nice people."_

 _"They are. Yeah, momma and Shawn are pretty great."_

 _Feeny quirks an eyebrow. He's surprised that she doesn't say 'mother', but even more surprised at the use of her father's first name. "You call your father 'Shawn'?"  
_

 _Tucking a leg under her body, Maya sighs. "He's not my father. A father would imply that his sperm connected with my mother's egg. But, it didn't. My father left when I was still too young to spell my name. My momma married Shawn like 2 years ago."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _"I don't care about him. I don't even know him. I don't even know what he looks like."_

 _"So you don't miss him?"_

 _Maya runs a slow hand through her tangled hair. "How can you miss someone you've never met?"_

 _"Touch_ é."

 _"Momma's awesome. I love her more than anything in the world. That's why I have to be here, I have to learn to control myself. I want to be able to go back to her and tell her that I'm okay. That she doesn't have to worry about me anymore."_

 _"So, what about Shawn?"_

 _"Shawn...I love Shawn. He's amazing. And he makes momma happy, which is something that I like about him. His cooking could be better and he has this terrible habit of leaving his keys on the counter every single morning. But, he makes us laugh and he makes momma feel safe."_

 _"And what about you?"_

 _Maya's face wrings up in confusion. "What about me what?"_

 _"Does he make you feel safe?"_

 _"Nothing makes me feel safe."_

 _"Why is that?"_

 _"Because sometimes it just doesn't matter what you do. People still have guns, and bombs, and cars. When you leave in the morning, you don't know if you're coming back home at the end of the day."_

 _"That's very true."_

 _"Unfortunately."_

Leaning back in his seat, Feeny picks up his mug. "You're very intelligent, Maya."

It takes a second for Maya to realize that he's actually speaking and not 'tele-communicating'. Nodding, she licks her lips and stands to her feet. She never really says goodbye and he doesn't either. She simply exits and he lets her. Their sessions go by quicker than she thinks, or maybe it's cause time goes by faster in her head.

As she walks out, she decides to go visit the roof. She was unsure of how her friends would react to her skipping breakfast, but Maya was her own person and she wanted to do something by herself. It wasn't that she was ungrateful, she just wanted to try something without telling them her every single move.

Maya promised herself that she would at least _look_ at the art class before deciding to stay alone with her artwork. It's another flight of stairs to get up there. When she steps on the concrete, the cool air hits her face and she looks around to see flowers almost everywhere. There are art easels and paints and students who haven't taken their eyes off her since she walked on the roof. That's when she notices that the sun isn't beating down her face. Turning her face up, she sees a ceiling, and understands that it's a glass greenhouse.

"Maya! You came." Sunny greets her immediately. But, just as she says her name, all the student's thought turn up to 100 and she can hear them all. "I'm really glad you decided to come. This isn't much of class, I don't teach, I do observe and help. Feel free to pick an easel and just freestyle."

This is as much instruction as Maya would receive. So, Maya picks the easel farthest from the students, and pulls the white smock hanging off the side over her head.

"Maya." Whipping her head around to the sound of her name, she searches for the source of the sound. Moving away from a pile of scrap metal(?), Asher smiles at Maya. At that moment, she sees that his eyes are not hazel, but actually, in fact, gray. "I didn't expect to see you up here."

"Why?" Her voice is gentle, and easily carries to his ears.

"Probably because I never see you anywhere. Except for the kitchen at three in the morning." It was true. Maya spent most of her time in class or in her room with the door shut. It had been close to a month since she had started school and she had only seen glimpses of the other students. But, she was pretty sure they had never seen her. This was her first 'outing' and she was alone, on top of that. "You like art?" She nods, sticking her hands in the pockets of her smock. "That's cool."

"You like..." She looks down at the pile of scraps sitting at his feet. "garbage?"

Asher chuckles, and it's something dark and deep that rings in her heart. "Yeah, you could say that. I like to try more physical things. A canvas had never really had any appeal to me." Her face changes to one of approval before Maya looks at her feet. Breathing in deeply, she tries counting backwards. "What's wrong?"

"People are staring." Maya whispers. "I hate that."

He looks over her head at the students who haven't taken their eyes off of her. Asher meets their stares with a hard one of his own, steeling off their looks. "She's not an art exhibit, get painting or get bent!" Everyone ducks their heads back down at the sound of Asher's voice. "It's because you're new." He explains, shrugging and turning back to the metal. It allows Maya to take in his actual appearance. She smiles to herself when she notices that he's wearing a long black coat, similar to hers. His hair is, indeed, black. But there's a light gray streak that offsets it. It's nearing his shoulders, which are broad. Even through his layers of clothing, she can see that he's skinny. His jawline is defined and he looks like he's supposed to be in a cult classic.

"I've been here for almost a month." She mutters.

Picking up a large, dark piece of metal, he turns back to her. "You're an Alpha, and they've never seen you before. You're going to be in a little display box for a while." Dropping the metal in a different pile, he grabs another piece. "It's also probably 'cause you're talking to me."

"Is that arrogance or is there an actual reason?" Her eyebrows furrow, and Maya goes over a million things that could possibly be wrong with him.

Kicking another slab of metal, his grey eyes meet her blue ones and he chuckles. She swears her heart stops for a second with the look he gives her. There's a smirk playing on his lips, like the night they met. "Both, sort of. I just don't have many friends."

"Is it because you play with metal and sneak around kitchens at 3 A.M.?" Her comment is unusually sarcastic, and it's one that she would normally keep in her head.

Snorting a bit, Asher's hair falls in his eyes, like it did that night. "Most likely. It's also probably because I really don't talk to anyone."

"If you don't talk to anyone, why are you talking to me?"

Throwing the scrap in his hand to a pile behind him, he tilts his head a bit. "Because you're not anyone." The line could not get anymore cliché, but it still makes her want smile a bit.

"Oh." When he says that, it makes her want to say something like it in return, but she's not too good at saying the right thing. Turning back to her canvas, she's pretty sure that she's blushing. Seizing her paint brush, Maya uncaps the paints that sits at the slot below the canvas.

They work in a comfortable silence. Asher separates pieces of scrap metal, and Maya paints freely. Neither one speaks, but occasionally he'll glance at her and smirk, or she'll look down at him and smile to herself. Once or twice, she'll catch his eye and redden a bit before painting again.

Before she knows it, Sunny's ending the session. "Good work today everyone! You guys are free to go if you'd like to. Maya, you're welcome to finish that painting, I wouldn't want you to lose your place." Moving over to Asher, she smiles. "I've got your tools, if you'd like to get started." Asher doesn't answer, he only nods as response. Sunny leaves, and returns with a tool box. As Maya continues painting, Asher pulls blowtorch out and begins welding thin slivers of metal together.

They're the only two people left on the roof, aside from Sunny, and she feels calm.

It's quite a while before she's finished, and she knows that he's still working on his...thing. Knowing she could have left, probably gone back to meet her friends, she stays with him. Unabashedly watching him, Maya notices the way he bites his lip when he's unsure of which piece to use next. It doesn't take him long to finish what he's working on, but she doesn't even see the end product. She's too busy looking at him and not what he's actually doing. So when Asher stands up, slipping it into his coat pocket, she's curious. "You were waiting for me." He's not asking, he's stating the obvious. "Well, are you ready to go?"

"Maya, would you like to keep your painting?" Shrugging her shoulders, Maya pulls off her smock. Sunny takes the canvas off the easel. "Okay, well I'll keep it for today, and you can come back for it anytime you'd like."

Just as they begin walking off, Maya changes her mind. "I'd like to keep it actually." Smiling, Sunny pulls it off of the wooden board, and rolls it up, handing it to Maya.

Holding the door open for Maya, Asher adjusts his coat sleeves. "What did you paint?" He asks, peering down at her canvas.

This is when Maya is made aware of their height difference. He's an entire head taller than her, the crown of her head barely reaches his shoulders. "What did you make?"

"It's a secret."

"At one point Asher, I'm pretty sure you were just smashing metal together. How is it a secret?"

"I'm pretty sure at one point you were just flinging paint on the canvas."

His sarcasm makes her laugh, an actual laugh. Not a chuckle, but a loud burst of laughter that startles even her. But, Asher only smiles and keeps walking.

She was leading him back to her room as the comfortable quiet overtook them again. Maya was trying to see if she was able to remember what he had made. Once they reach her door, she's not sure if she's supposed to ask him to come in with her, or if they're supposed to part ways here. But, he has the ability to read her like a book. "What is it?" His tone is soft, and quiets the anxiety bubbling up inside of her.

"Uhm, I'm not sure what to do." Maya sighs, feeling completely inadequate in that moment. Trying not to clench her canvas, she looks up at him. "I don't know if I'm supposed to invite you inside, or if you're supposed to leave."

His gray eyes darken a bit, and she's locked in his gaze. "It's whatever you want to do, Maya."

"What if I want you to stay?"

"Then I'll stay."

"What if I want you to leave?" She breathes, not looking away from him.

"Then I'll go."

Once again, he's moved into her space, and her back is pressed against the door. "I think I want to be alone." His presence warms her insides, and she's not sure why. The only thing she knows is that every time she looks at him, she can't bring herself to turn away.

Asher doesn't look hurt when she says this, he only steps back, allowing her some room. "Okay. Promise that I'll see you later." He's not requesting it, he _wants_ to see her later. She can feel it. There's a certain sincerity that pitches on the word 'promise', and she can't ignore it. So she agrees. It's only when he's gone that she realizes that they never established a time or place to meet.

Refusing to call him back, she tries to open the door to her room, only to be met with resistance. Pushing hard against the door, Maya hears a distant 'ouch', as it finally swings open all the way. On the other side of the door, Lucas, Riley and Zay (who's rubbing his face), stand looking at her sheepishly. They all stand back as Maya steps inside, her face void of any expression.

Riley speaks first. "Hey Maya!" She has a smile, yet her face is still full of guilt. Only, Maya doesn't respond, she just crosses her arms over her chest, dropping her canvas on her desk. "What's up? We missed you at breakfast this morning?"

"Were you spying on me?" Maya's tone is harsh, and she feels an unidentifiable feeling rising up.

"No!" Riley protests. "You just weren't at breakfast today, so we waited around for a while."

Zay jumps in, trying to help out. "And then we knew that you weren't going to come down. So we sent Lucas to see if you were with the Professor."

A questioning Lucas has his hands stuffed in his jeans. "But you weren't there either, so we came to your room, thinking that you had packed up and left." He doesn't sound apologetic, he sounds accusatory.

 _They were just worried?_

"But, your stuff was still here, so we thought something bad had happened to you. So we were leaving to go tell the Professor, and then we heard the voices outside the door, and it was you." Riley finishes, wringing her hands while Maya stares back.

"Okay." She's final and accepting, kicking off her shoes, and sitting on her bed. The room is still tense as everyone is still standing up, and looking at her. Maya raises her eyebrows as if to say 'What?'

Riley takes a seat on the edge of her bed. "Who were you talking to out there?"

"A friend." It was the first time she had called Asher that. She didn't know what they were exactly, seeing as how they had only talked twice. And on one of those occasions she was seriously sleep deprived and thirsty. At three in the morning it could've been a raccoon in pajamas for all she knew. Yet, she felt inexplicably linked to him for some reason. _Jesus_. They had just met and their relationship was already 'complicated'.

Lucas stands stiffly at the foot of her bed. "A regular?"

"A _what_?" Hurt drips off and falls into canyon that was starting to form between her and her friends. "What did you just call him?"

His face shifts at the word. "Him?"

"Yeah, 'him', my friend. What did you just call him?"

"I called him a 'regular'."

Her eyes harden when he says it again. "Why?"

"Because that's what he is, Maya." Though Riley is speaking softly, the words are strained. Lucas jams his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and Zay stands awkwardly by the door. "He's a regular, we're Alphas."

Shaking her head, Maya scoffs. "What does it matter?"

"They don't like us, that's why it matters. In fact, they hate us all." Lucas bites, and Maya digs her fingernails into her palms, trying to keep her cool. Logically, she knows she should just diffuse the situation as fast she can, it would be the best decision. Only, Riley and Lucas don't seem to be backing down, and she refuses to do so either.

"And why is that?"

"They think that we think we're better than them." Zay finally speaks, and his evenness eases through all the tension mounting around the conversation.

Nodding, Maya relaxes a bit. "And do you?"

Shaking his head, Zay looks down at her. "Of course not."

"Okay. Well, don't call him that." She resigns, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Yeah, well that's still what he is.. A regular." Lucas retorts, taking a seat her desk chair. "Just because a zebra doesn't want to be called a zebra doesn't mean he's not a zebra."

Maya glares over at him. "We aren't talking about a zebra, Lucas. We're talking about a person, a _mutant,_ like us."

"But, he's not like us." Riley concedes, not turning towards Maya.

"You guys are being ridiculous. That's not actually how you think, right?" When nobody answers her, she brings her eyes up to Zay. "Are you serious? I thought that maybe you didn't like this divide, but maybe it's your fault too."

Swiveling to face Maya, Lucas drops his mouth open. "We don't think we're better than them."

"Really? Because right now you sure have me fooled."

"Do you know anything about us? Have you been paying attention at all?"

"Why are you being such a _jerk_?" She fires back, a dark energy building up in her hands.

Standing to his feet, Lucas throws his hands in the air. "Why are you being so _dense_?" The room feels like it's getting smaller, and the lights are going in and out (read: Riley's getting nervous). "They don't like us, Maya. They don't like you, you're an Alpha. Can you not understand that?"

That's when Maya feels her anger rising higher. Her face is getting hot, and her hands are starting to shake. Clenching her fists, she searches for control, but realizes she can't find it. Her chest is heaving and it seems they've reached a standstill. Her eyes catch something black and pink circling her wrists and she immediately gets nervous. Jumping to her feet, Maya pads over and opens the door.

" _Get the hell out."_ She hisses, her voice gravelly yet somehow strong. Zay strolls out with his head down, Riley's eyes are wide and sad when she leaves, and something inside Maya wants to call her back, yet she doesn't. Only Lucas stomps out, in rage.

Slamming the door behind them, she paced around her room. This anger was new to her and she was trying her best to reign it in as much as she could. At that point, she couldn't even remember why she was getting so mad in the first place. Asher was barely her friend. It shouldn't have meant a thing, what they had called him. Still, she just couldn't get over the way the word rolled off their tongues. _Regular._ Even sweet Riley's voice pitched on the word, like it was something to be disappointed of.

Raising her hands to her face, she examines the black and pink energy encircling them, and watches as it grows darker. She had only been alone for a few minutes when the door swings open again.

Asher.

He chose, of course, the best time to make his reappearance.

"Are you okay?" He asks, shutting the door behind him while Maya continues to pace. When she doesn't answer, he steps into her way. "Maya." He speaks. Her eyes are filled with an anger and frustration when they meet his. The red is very prominent in her blue eyes now.

"You have to go." Unintentionally, Maya pushes him away slightly, unable to control herself. The energy emanating from her hands gives her push extra power, and knocks him back against her door. She needs him to leave before she does something that she regrets.

"No." He states firmly as she feels her control slipping. Asher stands to his feet, as Maya backs away to the opposite wall. "I'm not going anywhere."

She's unable to answer him, yet she looks up at him from the other side of the room, hoping he understands some kind of unspoken language. Her emotions tumble over within her and she finally releases herself, wishing it be over soon.

And then, right there, something different overtakes her. It's calm and soothing, and relaxes the strain that's been building up inside of her. She stops pacing, and lets the serenity take control. It comes in waves, each one stronger than the last, and it almost makes her want to sleep. Her anger is now long forgotten, so she focuses on the peace that she feels.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, which she had shut in frustration. They met his serene gray ones weakly.

 _Serene._

"You did that." Maya whispers, exhausted. "How-how did you know to do that?"

"That night. You told me you were a telepath, so I just...thought." Asher blinks back, looking composed. "Are you alright?"

Seeing her room totally trashed, she groans and slides down the wall she had been leaning against.

"I've had better days."

* * *

For the remainder of the day, she ignores her friends. And refuses to even look at them in class. It feels like tap dancing on thin ice when they interact. Maya does not make the effort to fix things, and she doesn't feel that she has to. So, the rigid feeling lasts right until the end of their power management session, as Maya tried to make it quietly back to her room, Riley stopped her.

"Maya!" Stopping, the aforementioned girl whirls around on her heel to face Riley. Zay and Lucas stand behind her and Maya feels a burst of energy flow through her veins. "I—We—wanted to apologize for what happened earlier today. We were wrong, and what you said, it did have some truth to it. So, we're really sorry."

Chewing on her tongue, she processes what Riley just said to her. "Alright. Maybe, _maybe_ , I was a bit stubborn." She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't like the labels—Alpha, regular, whatever—we're all mutants. Can we just leave it at that?"

Everyone nods, and continues on their way, until Lucas tugs on Maya's arm.

"Hey." He breathes. She doesn't respond, only pulls her arm out of his hand. Stiffly standing in front of him, she raises her eyebrows, waiting on him to say something. "I'm sorry, about this morning. I was totally out of line, it's probably because the stuff you were saying, it was kind of true."

"It's just that, we're used to it being like this. They don't like us, we don't like them. I didn't want you to get hurt or something." It's one of those moments where she wishes that could see his eyes, it'd be a lot easier to tell if he was being sincere.

"I don't need protecting. I can take care of myself." She's strong and insistent, looking at him blankly.

"I know."

"Don't do that again."

"I won't."

He had pissed her off before, but she wasn't really one to hold grudges. "What color are they?" She asks, walking away as he follows her.

"What color is what?"

"Your eyes." They rounded the corner.

"Green."

"Oh." She pops.

"And yours?"

"Blue."

"Really?" Lucas sounded surprised. "That's my favorite color."

Maya snorts as she leads him upstairs. "Well, you wear it like every day, so I'd assume that it is."

The rest of the walk to her room is filled with little questions to ease themselves away from the tension that had built up. They talk about miscellaneous thing, safe subjects.

He asks about her favorite colors, and she asks about his favorite foods. She tells him that she likes drawing the sunset and Lucas says he has yet to master the art of stick figures. Everything that seems small proves to be significant, as they reach her door again, and Maya's mentally exhausted by the day's events and just wants to sleep.

She barely offers a wave goodbye before stepping into her room, kicking off her shoes, and launching herself on her bed. Maya barely remembers to take off her coat, and she tosses it on her desk, before laying down again.

 _I'll just rest my eyes._

* * *

When Maya wakes up, it's nearly noon. So, she thanks every deity there is, that it's Saturday, and she has no class. Coming to her senses, she realizes that she didn't get up at all last night. Happy that she finally slept through the night, she ignores the fact that she's still wearing her clothes from the day before. Her room's still sort of a wreck from yesterday's events, and as Maya begins to clean it up, she physically groans.

She forgot about Asher.

In her defense, they hadn't said where or when they would meet. After he calmed her down, he just left. He didn't say anything else, he didn't offer an explanation, he simply left her.

But, her mind quickly slips from Asher and onto the black and pink energy that circled her arms. It was something completely new to her. She had never seen it before and she had no idea where it came from. Maya remembers how it nearly put Asher through her door even though she barely pushed him. Despite the fact that she had never used it before, it felt so familiar, like it belonged to her somehow.

As of recently, Maya had accepted her powers more and more. They had become part of her and it took her a while to realize how much.

Still, if it hadn't been for that day.

The day she lost Marnie.

That's when she got them, on the worst day of her life. At first, it felt like a curse, like some sort of punishment for something that she had done in another life. Hearing people's thoughts, it made her sick, knowing what people actually thought about. But, now it felt like a gift, something that she was glad she had.

Hanging her last shirt, Maya surveys her room. Deeming it acceptable again, she decides she wants to spend the day doing something other than sitting in her room and doing homework.

Realizing that she hadn't even showered yesterday, she turns it on in the bathroom and let's the water run hot. As the steam fill the bathroom, she strips off her clothes and steps inside. The water nearly burns, but that's how she likes it, so it doesn't bother her at all. Maya refuses to even let her eyes close as she washes and rinses her skin and her hair, though she does end up with a considerable amount of shampoo in her eyes. Stepping out, she towels off and wraps it around her frame as she goes back to her room.

Maya considers putting on her jeans again and then she skims through her closet instead. Pulling a dress off the hanger, she cringes as she puts it on, and then looks down at it. It's white and lace, but it reminds her of the phoenix. She nearly takes it off, then doesn't and then slips on the knee high boots that have been sitting in the back of her closet since she got to school.

Grabbing her coat from her desk, just as she opens her door she sees Asher with his hand raised to knock on hers.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They stare at each other for a few seconds before he clears his throat and Maya invites him in. "So, I realized after I left yesterday that we never said when we would meet again."

She doesn't shut the door entirely, but she closes it enough and sits down at her bed, gesturing for him to sit at her desk chair. "Yeah, well you came back."

"I did," He answers, shrugging his shoulders. "You were a little occupied though."

Her face turns red at the memory of pushing him into the door. "I'm sorry." She's not sure what she's apologizing for, it's not like she wanted him to see that, and she definitely did not ask him to come in her room.

Asher shakes his head. "No, don't apologize. Something tells me that it was new." Once again, Maya's locked into his gaze and finds herself incapable of pulling away from those grey eyes. "I came here to ask you to meet me on the roof, tonight. There's something I wanted to show you." Nodding, she agrees without thinking of what could happen up there. "Good, so I'll see you."

"Tonight." She answers as he makes his way to the door.

"Tonight." He repeats, pushing his hair away from his eyes. "It's a date."

Just as she's about to ask if it's really a date, he slinks out the door leaving her alone.

Maya Hart has never been on a date before, and now she has one. With a boy she met in the kitchen at three in the morning, while she she was naked (in a sense), and he's seen whatever that the phoenix, the one that lurks _underneath the surface_.

She has a date with him.

* * *

 **Whoops. This chapter took like a good time to write.**

 **I don't own X-Men, or any characters associated with it.**

 **I probably won't update this story for a few weeks, maybe a month or so. I'm going to work on a few other stories that I have sadly abandoned (not really) and update them. I'll be publishing a lot of new stories this month, because I have like 4 sitting on my doc that I didn't even both working on.**

 **Also, tiramisuspice's (my mother), AoS, is sooooo good! What the heck.**

 **\+ The song at the beginning is Hurts Like Hell by _Fleurie_. - She's a beautiful singer.**

 **\+ + Review, tell me whatcha thought.**

 **+++ Lol, I did not proofread this at all, I'll do that on Monday.**

 **\- XOXOXO, Minnie.**


	5. not about angels

_"Found something real that's out of touch_

 _But if you'd searched the whole wide world_

 _Would you dare to let it go?_ _"_

* * *

Maya paced around her room for quite a bit, realizing she was painfully inexperienced in this area. She desperately wants to call her mom, and ask her for help, but she doesn't. Instead, she tries to calm herself by practicing the lower extents of her powers and individually levitates items in her room. One by one, she lifts things that aren't hinged down, and eventually sets them back.

Her mind's racing too fast for her to focus on anything for longer a few minutes at a time, and she finds it frustrating. Maya finds herself kicking off her boots, and rolls back into bed, still dressed. She hasn't eaten at all, but she doesn't feel hungry.

It's the middle of the afternoon and she's barely done anything all day, but she feels something calling her under the guise of sleep again. It feels like she's only fallen asleep for a few seconds yet when she opens her eyes again, she notices her white surroundings and understands where she is.

"Phoenix?"

 _"Hello, Maya."_

Maya's slightly annoyed now, and groans a bit. "Why am I here? Don't you think we could do this later?"

 _"Maya, as you come more and more into your powers, we're going to talk more and more often. As an inhabitant of part of the Phoenix, you're going to need to learn more about what that actually means. There are other hosts, who are much closer than you think."_

Nodding, Maya examines her clothing, "Does this mean I get to ask you about the creepy pink and black stuff around my hands from yesterday?"

 _"Part of your abilities as the Host of the Phoenix is energy manipulation. Yesterday was your first experience with it. It was also your first time experiencing an extremely strong emotion. There are much darker parts that come with your powers, Maya."_

She remembers the rage that had bubbled up yesterday, it quickly grew into something she wasn't used to. "I have never gotten angry like that before."

 _"You'll come to recognize it."_

"What if I don't want to?"

 _"You're different, Maya. You're very different. One thing you need to understand is that while you are not the only host of the Phoenix, your powers are incompatible to any other there is or will be. But, you have to be careful, not everyone's going to understand the depth of your abilities."_

Maya's eyebrows furrow a bit. "What do you mean?"

 _"Watch your friends, Maya."_

Before she can ask if the people she knew were okay, she whisked back into reality. She feels like vomiting a bit, but manages to keep her nausea at bay. She's beginning to find the Phoenix a bit annoying with his/her/it's cryptic messages and pop up appearances.

She moves through her homework on autopilot, the Phoenix's warning sits in her head for hours, and she can't help but reexamine every person she's considered a friend. The list wasn't very long, considering one of them was dead, but she's still wary of the rest.

Especially Asher, Maya knew there was something a lot darker lurking in him. She carries this thought all throughout the day, until she notices that the sun has gone west for the night, and there's no more time to contemplate things anymore. Maya can either go and meet him tonight, or she could stay in, alone.

She could play it safe, like the Phoenix subliminally advised her to do.

But, then again, she's spent her whole life playing safe.

So, she finds herself on the roof, in the greenhouse, waiting on Asher, still a bit hesitant.

"Hey." She snaps her head back in the direction of Asher's voice, and smiles a bit when she sees his the glint in his eyes. He juts his head, silently telling her to follow him, and though she hesitates for a moment, she follows him out of the greenhouse. She sucks in a tight breath when the cool night air hits her face. The moon sets a small glow, outlining Asher's jaw. "So, how are you doing?"

"What?"

Asher chuckles, and it's more of a dark rumble coming from the back of his throat. "I'm not too good with small talk."

"Then don't make any," Maya replies, turning her face to the sky. "I hate small talk."

"So, you just want to go into the deep stuff. Do I really seem that easy?" Asher jokes, taking a seat on the ground, letting his coat fan out behind him.

Maya follows in suit, and stretches her legs out in front of her in a similar fashion. "God, I hope not."

"I suppose you'd like to hear about all my secret pain? Cause you don't get the tear-jerking backstory until the second date."

Her heart lurches when he calls it a date. "We could start somewhere else."

"Like...?"

Maya shrugs and feels a bit of a pain in under her knee, and pulls her legs in to cross them at the ankles. "Like why you don't have any friends."

"You know why I don't have any friends."

"No, you told me that you don't talk to anyone, but I don't know why."

Asher raises an eyebrow at her. "A bit investigative aren't we? I don't know anything about you, aside from the fact that you're an Alpha, who throws people into doors." Settling his gaze on her eyes, his face changes in confusion. "Why are you here, Maya? Haven't your friends warned you about hanging out outside of your 'class'? Am I just a bit of rebellion for you?"

She bristles when he says this. "Don't do that. I'm here because I want to be here. I do things because I want to do them. I don't have anything to prove to anyone." It almost feels like a lie, the way she says it, but somewhere inside her, she knows that it's true. "Besides, my friends don't dictate who I talk to."

"Mhmm."

They're both sizing each other up, and she's tired of playing games. As much as she hates addressing her own feelings, she won't ignore the elephant on the roof. "Are we just going to do this the whole night? Playing off a heavy conversation as light banter?"

"No." He answers simply, but nothing follows it.

"So, why did you invite me up here?" She asks, getting a bit annoyed.

"I don't know," Asher turns to look her directly in the eye, and she's incapable of breaking his gaze. "Would it be weird to say that I feel connected to you?"

Maya finds honesty in his tone and can't bring herself to dismiss him. "No, I don't think that's weird at all."

Silence fills the space between, and it's not awkward, it's an easy silence. It's then that she realizes that they're sitting kind of close to each other, and the proximity is enough to speed up her heart rate.

"The people here don't talk to me because I don't trust them." Asher's voice finally cuts through the air. He turns his eyes back to the night sky. "I don't trust anyone, but for some reason I trust you." She nods in understanding. "Everyone thinks I'm weird, but that's because they don't know what I can do. They don't understand what I'm capable of. They think that their powers are for fun, like a joke, and I seem to be the only person who keeps missing the punchline."

He gives her something, and the ball is in her court now.

She'll play.

"For a really long time, I only had half of a parent. My father left when I was still too young to remember his face." Maya replies, tracing the cracks in bricks under her. "He never came back, I never knew why, he just left. It broke my mom in ways I couldn't understand, it broke me in ways I couldn't understand."

A wind picks up, whipping her hair around, creating a look of passionate innocence through the fiery red color.

"I'm terrified of spiders." It's meant to lighten the mood, but neither one smiles at his admission.

"I hate falling asleep in the quiet, it makes me feel alone." The mood is somber, but it's not making her sad. "You're a bit of a mystery." She adds, though it seems as if she's speaking to the moon.

"I've never read _To Kill A Mockingbird_."

Maya turns her head back to him at his confession, pushing the hairs out of her face. "Never?" He nods, and her mouth drops open a bit. "Isn't that like a required reading for eighth graders?"

"I spent too much time in the junkyard, I guess." Asher's voice is serious, and she knows that he isn't kidding. "It's part of my secret pain." She's then overcome with the need to pull him close, and just hold him. But, she's not sure if that's to make him feel better or her feel better.

"You make me feel okay."

"You make me feel normal."

She really wants to look at him again, but if she does, she'll stare. She'll stare because his eyes are too much for her to handle in one person. She'll stare because he gives off emotions that she didn't even know existed.

"Sometimes, I do bad things."

"I think I am a bad thing."

Her heart clenches because even though his voice flows easily, she can feel the force of his feelings behind it. It sounds too easy coming off of his lips, like he's told himself that everyday, like _people_ have told him that everyday.

"But, you aren't."

Honestly, she's not even trying to pry. She doesn't want to. She's always liked a bit of the mystery that he brings, but she has the feeling that he's _letting_ her understand what he's feeling in the moment. Most of the time, she can't tell if he's joking or not, and now she knows exactly what he means when he says something to her.

The corners of his lips quirk up for a second, and he can't properly hide the boyish smile that graces his face. "Thank you."

"Your welcome." They both go quiet before she speaks up again. "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Why?"

He doesn't hesitate to answer her. "Blue has potential, it could be so many things. It's everything and nothing. But, I like red too. It's like intense, you know? Like it's right in your face." Asher shakes his head and chuckles. "I know I'm not even making any sense right now."

The wind continues pushing her hair around and she gives up on trying to tame it. "No, you are. I get it."

Pointing to the sky, Asher notes, "You see those stars right there? That's the Big Dipper."

"Really?" She can't see what he sees and she can't act like she does.

"I have no fucking clue." He jokes as she lets out a light laugh. There's another pregnant pause before he says, "Whoa."

His voice is filled with awe and she turns to him, trying to look at him through the curtain of her hair. "What?"

"You-you just look, your hair, like it looks, you look really pretty." His voice is raw and it makes her blush. She's happy to hear him stumbling, it makes him seem even more human, it let's her know she's not the only one who's nervous.

"Thank you."

Time has flown, and minutes only felt like seconds when they're sitting together. So it feels all too soon when Asher stands too his feet. She looks up at him expectantly, before getting up by herself. He leads her back out of the greenhouse, and down to her room. They stand in front of her door, not speaking for a while. The air between them was thick, and the tension was palpable.

This is her night out, and maybe it's a bit impulsive and totally uncalled for, but she's going to give it a shot anyways. Leaning up forward, Maya tries to catch his lips. It's only when she's holding the position for a few seconds that she realizes he's not leaning back. Opening her eyes, that she didn't even notice she had shut, she sees him looking at her with sorrowful eyes.

"Maya—" He tries.

"No, uhm, no you don't have to. Wow, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have—I thought that you—I'm sorry. I'm so stupid." She's rambling now and an annoying blush inflames her cheeks and spreads all the way to the tips of her ears. "That was really dumb. I'm sorry for assuming that you even liked me like that, and I'm—that was really stupid." Turning to face her door, she fumbles with the handle, not remembering she had locked it before she left. Honestly, she's just willing that the floor could open up and suck her in. Maya wishes she had the ability to make herself disappear, it would never have been more useful than it would be in that moment.

"No, Maya..."

Digging in her coat, she locates her key. "You really don't have to, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm gonna just...bye." Finally unlocking her door, she quickly steps inside and shuts in behind her, not waiting for Asher to say anything else.

He stands outside of her door for a while and then Maya finally hears him walking away. Groaning out loud, she throws a hand on her face and hopes that tonight was terrible dream.

—

There's a heavy knocking on her door, and she's barely wiped the sleep out of her eyes when her feet hit the floor. The sun rays are blocked by her curtains, but she knows that it's morning. Opening the door, she's met with a frantic Riley on the other side.

"Maya." This is all she offers as greeting when she steps inside of Maya's room. Reaching up to pull her hair out of the bun she tied it in for bed, Maya's still groggy. Riley takes a seat on her bed, and when the lights flicker in and out, Maya can tell it's something important.

"Are you okay? Did something happened?" Riley's messing with the ends of her hair and kicking off her shoes, then slips into Maya's bed. Barely blinking at her erratic behavior Maya gets in next to her, laying on her back.

Their shoulders are touching, when Riley finally exhales slowly. "Lucas asked me out." She's not shocked, but she doesn't understand why Riley is.

Glancing at Riley through the corner of her eye, Maya asks, "Are we happy?"

"Yes, we're very happy. We're a bit confused...but happy."

In that moment, Maya couldn't help but be struck with how different she was from Riley. The moment Lucas had asked her on a date, she ran to Maya's room, but when Asher had asked to meet her on the roof at night, Maya didn't even think of Riley. Riley's obviously nervous, it doesn't take a telepath to see that, but Maya was better at concealing her emotions, even when there was nobody to hide them from. They were polar opposites when it came to social situations.

"That's good...right?"

Riley rolls on to her side, and faces Maya. "I've never been on a date before, I don't know what to do or say or how to act or what am I going to wear? Oh my god, I should've said no."

At least they were both at the same experience level when it came to romantic relationships.

"No, you like him, you said yes, that's good." Maya tries to sound reassuring, but she's not too good at giving support. "He likes you, I'm sure it's going to go great." Rolling on to her side to face Riley, Maya lets a hint of a smile play at her lips. "We'll find something to wear."

Maya notices that Riley's eyes are a deep brown, and her face carries the appearance of sunshine in itself. She reminds her so much of—

No, she can't go there. Not now, not when her friend needed her.

So, she lets Riley drag her out of her own room and into her bedroom. Treading down the hall in her socks and jeans thrown across her chair, she pictures what Riley's room is going to look like. She was expecting bursts of light and color, and posters of boy bands hanging on the wall.

She was mostly wrong.

The only source of light came from the sun, otherwise her room was void of lamps and almost anything electrical really. There were posters on the wall, but they were all bands Maya had never heard of. Light floods the room naturally, but it seems attracted to Riley. The way it falls on her face is intentional, like it knew the right way to sit on her features.

Immediately following Riley to her closet, Maya is not surprised at her choice of mostly floral, bright clothes. She sits on the edge of Riley's bed, listening intently as she reams out every piece of clothing she could not wear on her date.

Riley is speaking somewhat fast, but Maya has the ability to catch every word she says.

"A picnic? What is appropriate picnic wear? A dress? A skirt? Pants? Are pants too informal? Is a dress too formal?"

Maya lets her keep talking until she's out of breath and tired. "Are you done?" Riley nods. "Wear that." She points at a yellow dress in the back corner of her closet.

Pulling it off the hook, Riley strips off right in front of Maya who turns her face away in embarrassment. Looking over at Maya, Riley apologizes. "Sorry, I keep forgetting about 'modesty'."

"It's fine," Maya lies.

"No, it's not. It makes you uncomfortable, which it should." Stepping into her dress, she backs up to Maya. "Zip?" Pulling up the metal, Maya pats the top of Riley's back to signal that she's done. Turning around, Riley raises her eyebrows in question. "How does it look?"

"Good, you look," _Like Marnie_ , a voice finishes in her head. "Great, you should wear it tonight."

"But, what do we talk about? I mean we've been friends for months, but I don't even know how to talk to him." Riley looks at her in desperation and Maya thinks for all of three seconds before answering.

"Ask him about his Pappy Joe."

—

 _"Maya, baby please speak to me." Katy turns back to the doctor. "Why won't she talk to me?"_

 _"I don't know Mrs. Hunter." The doctor glances at Maya. "All the blood that we found on her clothes are Marnie's. She doesn't appear to be injured, but we're going to run some more tests, there may be internal trauma."_

 _But, the only sign of life coming from Maya was her ability to breathe on her own, the rhythmic sound of her heart was Katy's only comfort._

 _"Baby, I'm so sorry, about what happened today," Katy returns to her beside, grabbing her hand, rubbing her thumbs over the back. "I know Marnie was your best friend. I'm so sorry. I know this hurts, but baby, please, I just need to hear your voice."_

 _Maya turns her head to look at Katy, and her face seemed hollow, like she was looking right through her. "Marnie's dead."_

 _That was the last time Maya spoke to her mother, or anyone else for that matter. It was only 9 months of radio silence for her parents. Katy never realized how much she could miss something so simple like the sound of her daughter's voice._

—

"George, I don't think that's a good idea." Brennan sighs, taking a drink from his glass. "In fact, I think that's a terrible idea."

"But, you've never been inside of her mind, James. It's too overwhelming for her. Her brain will never be able to cope." George argues back.

Setting down the glass, Brennan crosses his arms. "I think it's good that I've never been inside her mind. And, that's where I think you're wrong. You've talked to Harper, you know that Maya has great potential and extraordinary abilities. Why would you want to take them away?"

"I'm not suggesting that we try to remove them entirely, I just want to quell them until she's ready to understand the magnitude of her abilities." He explains, eyes pleading with his best friend. "She's just not ready for this. It's causing her too much stress. Maya needs to develop more beforehand. Her brain isn't prepared for the strain that her powers are going to cause her."

"Then help her control it, George. That's why we're here, that's why we made this school." Brennan argues back. "If we were take away her powers, it's like we're taking away who she is."

George groans frustrated. "But, James—"

"No, that's it. You're asking for my approval, but I'm afraid that you're not going to receive it." He stares back at George before continuing. "Did you ever stop to think about what might happen if it doesn't work? If one day she wakes up and realizes that she can't do what used to do? You saw her in the Danger Room, George. I don't think you know what you're dealing with. You're telling me that you know her, I don't think you do. I think she's only letting you as far as she wants you to go."

"What about just her telepathy then?" George continues trying to reason with his friend. "All you need to do is talk to her James, one conversation, and you'll understand why I want to do this. You'll understand why I need to do this."

"One conversation." He concedes.

—

"You tried to kiss him?" Zay asks incredulously.

"Can you please try not to make it sound like that?" Maya's face is half buried in her pillow as Zay sets their homework to the side. "It was not at all like that!" She feels more than out of her comfort zone, talking about what happened, but she didn't want Riley to feel as if she was 'stealing her thunder' before her picnic with Lucas. Plus, Zay was right there, he was easy to talk to and she had to tell someone.

"Wait, wait, so he was sending out...feelers?" He snorts, trying to keep at straight face at her mortified expression. "Do you think maybe you read them wrong?" He offers.

"I don't know, maybe, I thought...like, am I an idiot?" Maya fiddles ends of her hair. "I shouldn't have, I just, I seriously have no clue what I was thinking. There was just something about him, like that moment, you know? Haven't you ever acted off of a feeling?"

"You're not an idiot. But, yeah," Then his voice changes and Maya lifts her eyes to his guarded face. "I have."

The change in his emotions is almost like a punch to the heart and she has to rearrange herself so she doesn't become overwhelmed. "Whatever it is, you don't have to talk about it. Not to me. Not if you don't want to."

"I just, I keep trying to forget it and I can't." Zay shakes his head, like he's trying to shake off the memory. "But, anyways, back to the work. Do you actually understand this?"

"It's just quadratics, Zay. They aren't that hard." Grabbing the notebook, she rewrites and then solves the equation, turning it around to show him the answer. "All you have to do is factor, Cupcake. Here, let me show you." Zay pushes the desk chair closer to where she's sitting and leans over the paper she's working on.

As they work the next problem, and she fixes his mistakes, Lucas walks into her room, without knocking on the open door. He freezes momentarily when he sees them sitting together. Maya notices a light emotion pass over him, but as quickly as it came, it was smothered.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Lucas frowns at bit at Zay as Maya identifies the emotion passing through.

 _Jealousy? Is he jealous of her? Did Lucas like Zay?_

They're talking while she thinks about what he's feeling, and then reprimands herself for listening to his feelings. Her little sessions with Feeny didn't seem to be helping her. Or maybe they were, she noticed that she had to work harder at listening and receiving feelings. The stronger ones were exactly that: strong. It hit her all at once, and though it was slightly bothersome, it was better than it was before.

As much as her empathy annoyed her, and it almost became the end of her one day, she didn't know what she would do without it. Even though her powers felt like a nuisance to her previously, now, she felt like she couldn't live without them. They didn't make her life easier, not in the slightest, but it was sort of a comfort for her now that she was learning to control herself.

She longed for the day that she could go back home and wrap her arms around her mother, tell that she loved her, that she never meant to shut her out. She could tell Shawn that he was a great father, that she couldn't imagine a better person for her mother.

Maya could finally start to live instead of just existing.

* * *

 **So school just started, and I'm in my junior year, so I have to work really hard to get myself in order.**

 **I'll try and start to work on the next chapter as quickly as I can, but I have a bunch of work to get done.**

 **I do love this story, it's not on going on hold or hiatus, and I will work the best I can to get this on the right track.**

 **You know, I don't proof. But, I'm going to find a Beta and get better quality chapters for you guys.**

 **XOXOXO, Minnie.**


	6. breathe me

_hold me wrap me up_

 _unfold me i am small_

 _and needy warm me up_

 _and breathe me_

* * *

"Where's Feeny?"

James shrugs and smiles. Gesturing to the seat, he looks up at her. "I told him that I wanted to talk to you today." Adjusting her coat around her body, Maya sits down. "Don't look so tense, Maya."

"Sorry," She answers, eyes darkening slightly. "I'm just more comfortable with Feeny."

He clears his throat and agrees with her. "George has always been a lot easier to...communicate with. But, we've never had a proper conversation and I believe that it's time that we do." Maya doesn't relax, so he keeps going. "What do you two usually talk about?" She doesn't answer. "Okay, we don't have to talk about that. What would you like to talk about Maya?" Once again, he is met with silence. Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees. "My family didn't understand me. And that's the case with almost everyone here. I want to understand you Maya. I'd like to know you, if you'd let me."

Opening her mouth, Maya thinks before she speaks. "I'm the only person in my family with red hair. Not, red like orange, but this red, dark fire truck red. People on my mom's side of the family thought that it meant I had demons living inside of me. So for a long time, she didn't talk any of them, not even her sister. It was years before she answered their phone calls."

Maya remembers how her mother had screened calls, ignored knocks on their door, even on her birthday. She used to tell Maya that she loved her more than anyone in the world, and Maya had never realized how true that was. When her grandmother and aunt told Katy that Maya needed to exorcised of her 'demons', Katy shoved them out of her apartment and slammed the door behind them. Katy didn't talk to them until Marnie died; she didn't even invite to her wedding with Shawn.

"My parents didn't raise me," James sighs. "My mother was a difficult woman, who wasn't ready to have children. I was an inconvenience to her and my father as well."

"When did you know—" Maya plays with the ends of her hair. "When did you first realize that you were different? That you had powers?"

James's silent for a few minutes and then he sits back in his chair. "I was thirteen. I was walking home from the store and then a shootout started out of nowhere. A stray bullet came in my direction and the first thing I thought was 'Stop.' And it did."

"Were you scared? Once you realized what you could do, were you scared?" She inquires.

"Yeah, a little, but then I learned how to control it, and I didn't have to be scared anymore. Are you scared, Maya?"

She only nods.

"Why?"

Tensing a bit, Maya exhales slowly. "I'm worried about what it could mean if I can't control it."

"What could it mean, Maya?" He pushes a bit.

She recoils slightly. "I'm not sure yet."

The magnitude of her words shock James so much that he nearly flinches. There's a certain force in her voice that pushes him away from the topic of the conversation and leads him away from the topic.

"I think your powers have the capability of being something very beautiful, like the other Alphas." James pours a cup of tea, and offers her some.

Shaking her head, Maya rejects it. "Thank you."

"But, you have to want this for you." He warns, his tone deepening. "I know this is for your mom, but you need to want this for yourself Maya. Nobody can control it for you. Do you understand that?"

"I do."

—

Class ends early and Maya promises Riley that they'll talk about her date with Lucas the second they can get a moment alone. It finally comes when Zay drags Lucas with him to go hunt for some food.

Riley starts talking as soon as Maya shuts Riley's bedroom door behind her. "Maya, oh my god, are all first dates supposed to be weird? Because that was probably the most awkward first date in the history of first dates! We barely talked the entire time, and then when he asked me about New York, I couldn't stop talking about basketball. I don't even remember what I was saying. And then I shocked him! He tried to hold my hand and I was holding a charge and I shocked him!"

Riley's had a few weeks to stew over and let herself crash. Ever since her date with Lucas, they had been swamped with schoolwork and training. Most of their time was spent working and studying in the thick tension. Often they fell asleep on the floor of Maya's bedroom or stayed up until dawn studying, then dragged their tired bodies to class in the morning. It was a sick, vicious cycle. They woke up half dead and exhausted, and somehow it made them feel like normal teenagers, or something close to it at least.

Maya forwent a few of her sessions with Feeny in favor studying and training. Their exams were nearing, and everyone wanted good marks in their classes. It gave them something else to focus on besides the palpable uneasiness that rose every time Riley and Lucas were in the same room.

It gave Maya something to pore over other than Asher's rejection. In all honesty, however, his rejection made her feel...alive. Marnie's death left her numb for so long, she didn't know if those emotions had shut down completely, and he proved to her that they hadn't. She just wished that it didn't hurt when she thought of him. Asher was an enigma, and Maya had read him wrong. Whatever they were—or weren't—was over now. Maya hadn't seen him since that night, and that was probably a good thing. She couldn't face him without the burn of his rebuff staining her cheeks.

"I don't think it was that bad." Maya tries to calm her down. Cautiously laying a hand on her shoulder, Maya notices that Riley's electric pulses don't effect her as much as they used to. "He really likes you, Riley. And he was probably just as nervous as you were."

Dramatically flinging herself backwards on Riley's bed, Riley groans out loud. Maya notices that Riley's bed is naturally immaculate, like she never sleeps in it, despite the constant disarray her room was in.

"I just wish I knew what he was thinking." There's a moment of silence while Riley works over that statement in her head. Slowly rising, she looks at Maya with a pleading smile.

It doesn't take a telepath to know what she's thinking.

"No." Maya says immediately shaking her head. "No, no, no way, Riley. I refuse, absolutely not." She stands up and sits at her desk chair, pretending to organize the mess at Riley's desk.

 _She needs to give her hands something to do._

"Please?" Riley rolls over to the other side of the bed. "Please! I'm not asking that you scrounge up his deepest, darkest secrets! I just want to know if he still likes me or not, Maya. You've heard Harper! She says you're getting so much better with your powers, you can do it. Just once, just for me."

Maya nods, "I can, Riley, but I'm not going to. Nobody should have their thoughts heard without their permission."

She's adamant about this and Riley can hear it her voice, so she backs off, but not without having the last word, "I would do it for you."

After not responding for a while Maya runs a hand through her hair. "I'm gonna go for a walk." She pushes up and out of the room without so much as a backwards glance at Riley. Her frustration, combined with her lack of sleep, was about to turn into anger too quick for her to reign in. So, without entirely thinking about it, she walks up to the roof. Happily finding it empty, she walks outside the greenhouse and takes in the fresh air. As much as she didn't want to be angry at Riley, the feeling was bubbling up faster than normal. The cool autumn air relaxes her and Maya tries to focus on something other than the hurt that inflicted Riley's voice.

She knows her eyes are getting red, despite how relaxing it was outside. Looking down at her hands that _stupid_ black and pink energy is encircling her wrists again and she lets out a cry of anguish. And then she paces, she thinks and tries to remember every single reason why she cannot lose control in that moment. But, everything starts blurring into each other and the line between control and freedom is all distorted. Suddenly, control feels more like insanity than anything else and holding it in is making her sick now.

Like, actually physically sick. There's bile rising up in her throat and she really does not want to throw up off the side of the roof, but there isn't really any other option. So, she runs off to the back corner and peers over the edge, making sure nobody is down there. Then, after doing another sweep of the roof, she drops to her knees, ties her hair back and grabs the ledge and empties the contents of her stomach. It's disgusting, it's truly vile and the feeling of vomiting is making her want to curl into herself right there on the concrete.

And then second she finishes, she coughs, and tucks her coat around her frame. She feels better, but only marginally. The energy around her hands is gone and Maya feels clammy and wet.

"Maya?"

Oh, great.

Asher, like usual, has impeccable timing, and if Maya hadn't just finished throwing up, she'd ask if he was following her or not.

"Go away." She wants it to sound strong and hard, but it comes out rough and weak, as a result of the acid that just traveled up her throat only moments earlier.

Asher, of course, doesn't listen to her. "Did you just throw up?"

"Go away." Maya repeats, louder this time.

"Are you alright?" Goddamn, she wishes she didn't hear the infliction in his naturally neutral tone. Yet, she did, and now she can't ignore the fact that he is _genuinely_ worried about her well-being. He's walking closer now, and she stiffens up. It's moments like these where she wishes that she was straight-edged like a seat belt after you pull it too many times. 'Cause his single rejection has pulled her so many times and yet she's still bending now, fighting past the bandaged burn that he caused.

"I'm fine." She forces—actually _forces_ —herself back onto her feet, as unsteady as they might be. It's obvious that she's weak, though she's a master at hiding things. "Go away." Maya has yet to turn around and face him.

"Are you sick?"

Her shoulders tense. "I'm fine." She repeats

"Maya—"

"I said that I'm fucking fine." She whirls around and pushes past him.

And she would've left, would've made an awesome dramatic exit, but he does that thing with his voice and she stops walking.

" _Maya_."

She doesn't want to talk. She doesn't want to look at him. "What?"

"Look at me."

Well, duh, that's the one thing he wants out of her. He knows, he just has to know, that the second she looks into those gray eyes, she'll melt at his feet because she has not figured out a defense for that yet.

"Why?"

"Please."

There's a pause where she contemplates throwing herself off the roof, and then she spins around.

He looks...disheveled. His hair is frizzing a bit and he has dark circles in his eyes. He's wearing his coat, but it doesn't look the same for some reason. Asher's eyes are dark, not gray, they're nearing black now. He kind of looks like a mess.

She wants to ask why, but that's only a knee-jerk reaction. Maya crosses her arms over her chest and makes it clear she will not be the first one to break in their little war of 'Who Can Take This Tense Somewhat Sexually Charged Silence Longer'?

He steps forward.

She steps back.

His eyes plead.

Her eyes harden.

Everything is so loud and so quiet at the same time and it's suffocating her.

Asher chuckles, except it's humorless and broken, and it hurts her heart. Or whatever that thing is that screams for him whenever he's not around. "I've missed you."

Maya wishes she didn't have to play indifference, she wants to play exuberance, but that's not in the script. So, she shrugs.

 _'Okay, and?'_

"That night..." He begins and quickly trails off as soon as he starts. "It's not that I didn't want to kiss you."

"Then what was it?" Her voice is steady because they're actually talking about it now and she's not running away from him. She's standing up and asking why because she needs some answers if only to soothe her pride.

Asher shakes his head. "I did want to kiss you."

"Then why didn't you?"

"It's not that simple, Maya."

Rolling her eyes, she replies, "It never will be, will it?"

"I want to tell you why, but I can't."

She scoffs and throws her hands up. "You're doing it again, talking in circles instead of giving me answers. If you don't like me like that, that's fine, but don't come up here and tell me all this crap about how you want to kiss me but can't. We're friends, is that what you'd like to hear? We're friends and that's all." She nods and doesn't let him refute what she's saying. "I'm gonna go now, because I have stuff to finish. I'll see you around."

When she walks back downstairs, Riley's still sitting in her room, laying in her bed.

"I'll do it."

—

Maya walks into the session with Feeny unsure of what she's supposed to do. He's sitting in the same spot he's always in and somehow everything feels different.

There's something wrong. She can feel it.

"Maya, I was hoping we could talk this time."

Something was up, she could tell, she just wasn't quite sure what it was yet. "Okay."

"How are you liking it here, Maya?" Feeny looks calm and everything appears to be normal. He has his cup in one hand and his usual jacket is on. The room isn't any darker or brighter than it usually is.

"It's nice." But, she's only half paying attention to the conversation. She doesn't feel...balanced. "Has it's ups and downs like every other school."

"I agree, I try to make the environment as common as possible." Feeny nods, sipping quietly from his cup.

Maya lets the comment slip before she can fully think about it. "As common as you can get in a school full hormonal, mutant teenagers with barely any control over their varying powers?"

It sounds snarky and sarcastic and immediately she wants to take it back, yet Feeny doesn't seem put off by her outburst.

"Exactly." He knows why she's withdrawn and he's not sure how he's going to tell her. "Maya?" Snapping back to the conversation, she raises her eyebrows. "How are you adjusting?"

"I think I've been here for long enough to know that I'm okay, I'm doing fine." Maya asserts.

"Have you talked to your mother?" She shakes her head. He knows that she isn't ready to talk about what's wrong and frankly, he's not sure he's ready to discuss it. "Maya, don't you think it's time?"

"I guess." Maya murmurs halfheartedly. Her mind is running in twelve different directions, trying to find out what's going on. "Maybe."

Feeny can't draw her back into the conversation without her finding out what's wrong the second he tries. "Maya, would you like to leave?"

"No, it's just—something feels off. I'm sorry." The feeling is large and controlling and she doesn't know how to get rid of it. She'd like to just push it to the side, but it surrounds every inch of the room and she can't ignore it.

He wants to tell her, but he doesn't know how she'd react and he's not prepared, not yet at least.

"Let's talk about your friends..."

—

Ushering Maya to Lucas, Riley draws Zay out of Maya's room.

"Lucas, did you figure out the answer to number seventeen?" Maya asks casually, once the door shuts.

Flipping back to the question, he looks up at her, "Yeah, I got sulfur dioxide."

"Really? Because I have the French and Indian War." She chuckles as he snickers. "Aren't we doing History?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I thought we were doing science..." He trails off, tilting. "I'm just exhausted." He pushes his books to the floor where he's sitting and stares at the redhead. "What's been up with you?"

She continues answering the questions. "What do you mean?"

There was no space for maneuvering around questions with Lucas. He was blunt, always straight to the point. She thinks that it might be hard for him to read facial expressions, especially with his glasses, and so if he wants to know something, he can't assume, he has to ask. This has never bothered her, in fact it was refreshing. He always said exactly what was on his mind, whatever he wanted an answer to, he would ask the question.

"I don't know, you seem a little weird, I guess."

Maya scratches the back of her head. "I've been feeling a little weird. I don't know, things just aren't settling somewhere." She's not quite sure how she's supposed to broach the topic, she just goes straight into it. "So, Riley told me you guys had a date a few weeks back."

Lucas doesn't divert, he doesn't brush it off, he answers just like he would answer anything else. "Yeah, it was nice."

 _Okay, it's time._

Maya's not entirely sure how she's going to do it, so she just focuses and tries to listen. "Nice?" She repeats, keeping him on the subject.

And he's repeating what happened on their date, and that's when she feels it.

 _Nothing._

Absolutely, positively, nothing.

She can't hear a freaking thing. This is so unnerving.

 _What the hell is happening?_

Maya tries to think back to the last time this happened to her, and she can't remember it. She can't even remember the last time she heard someone's thoughts. Not even that day in the field with Riley. She knows on that day, she showed them, but for some reason the memory feels more like her imagination than an actual event. She can't remember her telecommunication sessions with Feeny, or she can, but it doesn't feel real. Every account of her using her telepathy doesn't feel real. None of it feels real at all.

Every memory feels fake, like she made them all up. Maya thinks back to her parents and...Marnie. But it takes too much of her to bring up the memories clearly.

She's panicking now, her mind is working in overtime. She's barely able to maintain her half of the conversation with Lucas. All she supplies are grunts and nods and the occasional, "Yeah."

Delving as deep as she can in her own mind, Maya's scrounging up everything and feels like it's just bringing up nothing.

"Damn, it's getting late." He starts packing up and Maya barely knows what's going on. "I gotta get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." Lucas pecks the side of her head with his lips before either of them can even think better of it. She freezes and he keeps moving. "G'night."

The door's shut behind him and suddenly she's alone again. There's no time to think about what he just did because she's already spiraling. Quickly.

"What the hell?" She mutters. Her memories are slipping and they're slipping faster than she can grab them. Her heart rate's picking up. And it's getting annoying how much her body is physically reacting to her powers now.

As much as she gains control of her powers, her body's been going off the rails. Originally, it looked like it had been her period throwing her out of whack, but even as it had passed, her reactions hadn't stopped. For everything she controlled, she lost control of another. She'd barely been able to contain the need to vomit just after she ate. Her heart hammered in her chest whenever she exerted the least bit of her energy. Her palms sweated heavily and she shook nearly ferociously.

But, maybe it wasn't off.

Maybe this was her anatomy trying to tell her that something was wrong in the beginning and she had continually ignored it. The signs grew more obvious as she thought back to it now. Maya believed that she had been controlling her telepathy, she didn't hear thoughts as easily as she used to anymore, but maybe she had been losing her power instead.

Had the Phoenix left her?

She hadn't heard from him/her/it since her date with Asher. Could the Phoenix just do that? Just decide to take her powers away without any kind of warning? While it didn't seem like the kind of being to do that to her, Maya couldn't say she knew enough about it to say that it wouldn't.

It just seemed so sudden. Her room was closing in on her and she flew to lock the door, not chancing the fact that anyone could barge in and see her like this. Whatever _this_ was.

Everything felt hot, and she stripped off her coat and tied her hair above her head. Pulling off her shirt and pants, she stayed in her tank top and underwear. She was still incredibly warm and though the breeze from the window cooled her considerably, Maya was unsure of what to do.

 _Phoenix?_

She felt like an idiot for calling on an entity that had no specific origins, yet she didn't know what else to do.

 _Phoenix? Please!_

There was no answer and no doubt in her mind that Phoenix had left her forever.

Maya turned off her lights, resigning to shower in the morning. Laying on her bed, she spread out and tried to relax. Still, every movement and sound was amplified by three hundred and she couldn't calm herself. It was keeping her up and frustrated and she didn't know how to fix it.

 _Phoenix, I need you!_

Emptiness was spreading over the spaces that used to be filled and it was hard to understand. She didn't know what to do.

And she didn't know how she much she had taken it for granted, she didn't know how much she would miss it when it was gone. Her powers had become a part of her, a close comfort since Marnie died and now it was gone.

—

 _"Marnie, I wanna go home!" Maya whines, adjusting her coat over her body._

 _Chuckling, Marnie shakes her head. "We are going home! It's so beautiful out, Maya, isn't it?"_

 _"It's a lot more beautiful when we're inside the house." She groans, walking faster. The snow had just begun falling a few minutes after they started walking and it was melting in Maya's hair. Her hands were jammed in her pockets and she just wanted to go home. But, Marnie insisted on taking the long way home. Marnie's blonde hair swished as she skipped along in the wind._

 _They had cut their last class to get to the bakery before they went home. Marnie chewed her doughnut obnoxiously in Maya's ear. In turn the redhead took a bite of her food._

 _"Ugh, jerk! Now it's covered with Maya germs, yuck!" Marnie fakes a disgusted face and keeps eating her food. A wind starts to pick up and pushes Marnie's scarf around. "Come on! Tell me you don't love this, it's cold and gorgeous out here." She exclaims, throwing her hands up in delight. "Like you."_

 _Blushing, Maya shakes her head. "I'm sure it's just as pretty from inside."_

 _"What's that song?"_

 _"Which song?"_

 _Marnie groans and stops walking. "The one with the girl and the guy its cold! What's that song?"_

 _"Baby It's Cold Outside." Maya answers, immediately knowing what she talking about. "That's like a date-rape anthem you know?"_

 _"How does it start?"_ _When Maya doesn't answer, Marnie tugs on her sleeve, "How does it start?"_

 _Not even missing a beat, Maya sings, "I really can't stay."_

 _"Baby it's cold outside!" Marnie finishes.  
_

 _Tugging Marnie along, Maya keeps singing, "I've got to 'way."_

 _"Baby it's cold outside."_

 _"This evening has been, so very nice."_

 _Pulling her hands out of her pockets, Marnie grasps Maya's hand. "I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice."_

 _Laughing out loud, Maya lets Marnie hold her hand. "My mother will start to worry."_

 _"Beautiful, what's your hurry?"_

 _"My father will be pacing the floor." Maya fake admonishes her, walking a little faster._

 _Lightly chasing after her, Marnie stops in front of Maya and places a hand by her ear. "Listen to the fireplace roar."_

—

Maya jolts awake. She was conscious enough to know what comes next in her dream, and it wasn't something she wanted to see. She rolls over and looks at her clock. It was almost time for her to get ready for her session with Feeny.

 _Crap._

What would she tell Feeny?

 _I'm sorry, it appears the all-knowing entity who was 'born of the creation of the universe' or some crazy shit like that, has now decided to take away my powers and now they're gone forever and I'm just taking up space in your school._

She laughed out loud at the very thought of that conversation. Still, she took a shower and got threw on her jeans anyways anyways. Letting her hair roll down in it's waves, she notices that it's still the dark red it's always been. Looking in the mirror, Maya sighs and steels herself for the day. Picking her coat up from her chair, she slips on the close comfort. Opening her door, she nearly steps on something sitting directly outside her door.

Stooping down, she examines the dark object. Cautiously picking it up, she looks it over carefully.

It was a metal rose. Literally, the rose was made of metal. She left it inside on her desk, wondering who would leave her such a peculiar...gift? Pushing it to the back of her mind, she continues her walk to Feeny's office.

Setting her shoulders, she walks inside slowly, keeping her eyes down. It had to be obvious, it was definitely obvious, he totally knew that she no longer had her powers anymore.

He looked at her carefully. He had to be scrutinizing her every move.

"Are you alright, Maya?"

He knew.

"I'm fine."

"You look tense."

"I'm fine." She repeats, just waiting for him to say that he knew and that she needed to pack up her bags and leave.

Feeny looks at lightly and Maya honestly wants to confess, she doesn't want him to have to say it out loud. "Maya, for these sessions to be productive, I need you to be honest with me."

"Okay." She nods and exhales quietly. She's unsure of what to say, unsure of how to kill the bright pink elephant in the room.

"Are you alright?"

So, she answers as honestly as possible. "I've had better days." It is the truth, this wasn't her best day, and it was her worst, though it was right up there.

"Why?"

The elephant is sitting on her chest now, the game is once again hers and she doesn't know if she can say it out loud. She puffs out harshly, "I don't think I want to do this today."

"Okay, but you need to get dressed and be ready by noon." Of course, Feeny didn't even have to say anything, she just took it how it was. There was probably a car already arranged, she'd pack up and go back home. "This is the first trip of the year, so I need you guys prepared and prompt."

Now, she was confused. "You guys?" Maya wondered if other people had lost their powers as well. But, he said 'trip'. "What?"

"Your field trip to the museum. The bus arrives at noon. I'd assumed that you had already heard about this. At the beginning of the year, our Alphas and the higher classes take a trip to a museum. It's a learning opportunity and a chance to familiarize our older students with a natural setting, especially those who have been here for a few years. You'll be around people without powers, and observe common social interactions while learning about history."

Feeny explains while she listens in complete shock. He had dismissed her before she even had a shot at asking why he wasn't kicking her out. Standing outside of his office, she runs a hand through her hair. He had to have known that she was totally void of her powers, or her telepathy at least. She was too afraid to test her telekinesis, in fear of being completely... _human._

Nothing had made sense when she first received her powers, she felt different and weird and just totally out of place. But, when she learned that it wasn't really her fault, that there were other people with the same problem, Maya actually began to feel normal. She was finally beginning to understand what was going on. And something inside of her loved— _no, thrived_ —on the fact that she could do things that other people couldn't, Maya was stronger than most people and now she knew why. So, not having her powers would make her question everything.

Maybe she wasn't special.

Maybe she was just crazy.

—

"I can't believe you did that!" James was absolutely livid and it was the first time George had ever seen him like that, and they had known each other for almost thirty years. "I told you no! You deliberately went and did it anyways! Do you even care about my opinion, or was asking me just a courtesy, because you knew you'd do it anyways?"

George sighed and looked at his friend with sad eyes. "James, she can't take it, she's not strong enough."

"And you'd know this from what—a few weeks with her, George? She has walls that took years to build up, I don't even think you can get past them." And that was saying something. George Feeny was incredibly strong telepath, he didn't need consent to dig up memories, and even some of the self-proclaimed strongest people couldn't keep him from their most repressed memories. It was gift and a curse all in it's own. His ability to literally read people could easily be his downfall one day.

Taking a sip of his tea, George walked to the window. "I know that you told me no, but she's just not ready for that, her mind isn't ready for the mental stress, it's just too much for her."

"Too much for her, or too much for you?" James counters easily.

The underlying tone in James' is not missed. "What are you talking about?"

"You're used to being the best telepath, George. Nobody has the ability to hide anything from you, but Maya does. Maya has mental locks a lot stronger than most of your keys, and the fact that you can't get it in, frustrates you." James observes, setting his glass down. "You're not going to admit it, but it makes you mad that the only reason you can't figure her out, is because she won't let you."

"That's absurd!" George spins around, eyes ablaze. "You think I did this out of spite?"

James shrugs nonchalantly, despite the tension in the room. "I don't think your reasons for doing this were all pure."

He's honest with George because he has to be. He doesn't lie to him, even if the truth hurts. But, George has never heard James sound this angry with him before. Of course, he's never done anything like this before. It wasn't fair for James to say he did this out of spite, he cared for Maya very much. She was just young and confused, and totally unprepared to handle her telepathy.

"I think you're wrong." George replies.

Nodding, James stands to his feet, taking the last drink of his glass before setting back on the table. "I know. But, listen to me: I'm not going to tell her, and she will find out, and she will no longer trust you, and something tells me her trust is nothing easy to come by."

James walks out of the office, leaving George alone.

—

Maya sits next to Riley on the bus, and they don't talk about Lucas. Once Maya told Riley she 'just couldn't invade him like that', Riley nodded in solemn understanding and the subject is put to rest. Instead, they talk about what to expect on the field trip, they talk about their schoolwork, they talk about everything that they don't want to talk about.

"What are those?" Maya finally asks. The question's been burning her tongue ever since she saw the weird gloves Riley was wearing. They looked thick and heavy and metal.

Riley, however, lifts her hands, and flexes her fingers. "Hank designed them for me. My body regularly absorbs electrical energy, which is how I can release it, but it happens naturally, I can't control it. These," She drops a hand on Maya's forearm. "Control how much electrical energy I take in and release so I don't overload. That's usually why I'm talking and moving so fast, I can't discharge the energy without some type of exertion."

Maya never realized how hard it must have been for Riley with her powers. She had no control over how fast she moved or spoke, she constantly lived in a constant surge of energy for a long time.

"It's hard for me to sleep when I constantly have energy."

Sympathy flickers through Maya's face and she holds Riley's gloved hands. "I'm sorry, Riles."

"It's not your fault. I'm just constantly working overtime." Riley chuckles but it's humorless and dry.

And Maya doesn't let go of her hand for the entire bus ride, even as short electrical pulses course through her body.

They stick close to Sunny during the beginning of the trip, occasionally, she'll mention a short fact about things they see, but for the most part, they're on their own. Lucas, Maya, Zay, and Riley all stick close together, not that it was much of their choice.

As they're observing one of the exhibits, the pull slightly away from the rest of the group. Maya's hand is still in Riley's, and just as she comes up behind Zay touching him on the arm, Zay drops a hand on Lucas' shoulder. This brief moment during which the entire group is in contact, they all freeze when the feeling passes over.

"Do you guys feel that?" Riley asks quietly, though it is loud in the museum, they can hear her.

Lucas looks around. "Where is it?"

"It's a person." Zay corrects, turning his head to look around without breaking contact.

Maya stops moving entirely. "He's close by."

For a few minutes, they're all simultaneously scanning the room, looking for the unknown person. None of them know what he looks like, but they all distinguish what he feels like and they basing themselves off of that feeling.

Finally, Riley nods in her head in the other direction. "Guys, black hoodie, brown hair, twelve fifteen." She gives slightly vague directions, yet they seem to know where to look the second she starts speaking.

"Are we supposed to approach him?" Zay's caution is easy to hear. "What if he's dangerous?"

"What if he's alone or scared or in trouble?" Lucas replies, his compassion pushing to the surface. "What if he's like us? Unsure of what to do and who to trust?"

Still in synch, they begin walking towards the brown-haired boy. Nobody's quite sure how to approach him, but they push for Maya to go talk to him.

"Why me?" She hisses, rolling her eyes.

Zay leans over and whispers, "You read minds, just think of him like a picture book and go."

Maya tenses and drops Riley's hand as she walks to him, still poised in front of the fossils. "Hi." She says as she finally gets up to him.

He glances at her for a brief moment and the corner of his lip quirks up. "Hi."

"Cool...bones, right?" It sounded lame in her head, and it sounded lame out loud.

"Yeah, I guess." He didn't sound completely uninterested, meaning she hadn't failed yet. She runs a hand through her hair and he watches the movement. "Your hair... Does everyone in your family have red hair like that?"

"No, it's—" She stops herself immediately, sucks in a tight breath, and takes a leap of faith. "It's a mutation."

His eyes widen when she uses the word 'mutation'. "You know."

"Yeah."

"Are you—?"

"Yeah."

"Prove it."

"You first." She challenges.

He pauses and thinks momentarily, his blue eyes sweeping over her quickly. Then, he sets his hand on the solid wall next to them, looking around quickly, he inhales slowly. Standing entirely upright, he holds her gaze as his hand pushes through the wall, effortlessly. Maya holds in a surprised gasp at his actions. He pulls his hand back out, unharmed. "Your turn."

Jerking her head in his direction and giving a small smile, she signals for Zay, Riley, and Lucas to come over. The boy looks startled at first, but Maya's light smile relaxes him.

"Show him, Zay."

Turning his back to the crowd, Zay faces the boy and holds one hand out. He blows slowly into his palm and they all watch as ice crystals flow from his mouth dancing in the middle of his hand. He lets the crystals form into a thick ball and with no hesitation, Maya forces the ice to sit in the middle of the small circle they've formed. She grins, happy and relieved all at once, and lets the ball float around them as inconspicuously as she can manage. Zay makes the ice dissipate, chilling the air around them.

"Don't worry, we're like you."

The boy visibly relaxes and so does Maya. Her powers aren't completely gone. Or at least her telekinesis wasn't gone. It was much, but it was something.

"I'm Farkle." He admits, his eyes scanning over them.

"I'm Maya." Looking to her friends, she points, "Ice boy right there is Zay, Red Sunglasses is Lucas, and this is Riley."

Farkle smiles at them. "It's really lucky that you guys all met each other."

"That's the thing, Farkle. We didn't." Maya hesitates, momentarily unsure of herself, yet pushes along anyways. "We go to a school for kids like us. There's more of us and there are people who are teaching us to control our powers." Farkle looks nervous and Maya immediately understands his doubt. "You don't have to come back with us. We're not going to force you to come, but if you would like to, the bus is leaving in a few minutes."

She gives him a small nod, and walks off, as her friends follow. Riley catches up and whispers to her, "Maya, why didn't you tell him to just come with us?"

"It has to be his decision, Riles. He has to want this." Linking her arm through Riley's, they go to search for Sunny.

As soon as they find Sunny, she begins to load the four of them back on the bus, before the other students come back.

But, she catches Maya's wrist when she sees a boy running behind them, calling Maya's name.

"Maya?" Sunny glances at him, then back at Maya, raising an eyebrow.

Maya gives a sheepish smile. "He's one of us. I'll vouch for him."

There's a tense moment before Sunny's face breaks out in a wide grin. "Okay." Farkle approaches, cheeks red and eyes on the ground. "Young man, she's putting herself up for you." Then, to Maya, she says, "Find Feeny when you get back to the school, bring him to Feeny."

"Yes, ma'am."

—

"I'm sorry. I don't know what your policy was on just bringing in mutants, and I know I should've asked first, but we were leaving soon, and he was alone, Feeny. I know that look. He was alone. He didn't even talk about his parents, he had to have left them. I know he's a 'stray', but I trust him, and I'll make him my responsibility." Maya began talking the second she came into Feeny's office, immediately taking up for Farkle. "You don't have to worry about him. I'll watch him. I promise." She glances at James, Hank, and Sunny who stand adjacent to Feeny. She tries to look fearless, but she's worried that they'll send him away.

Farkle stood quietly behind her, knowing Feeny was watching him. "What can you do?"

Maya steps to the side and lets Feeny watch as Farkle steps backwards through the shut and locked door, and the comes back inside, reentering through the walls. He looks up at him, silently searching for some sort of approval.

Feeny nods.

Finally, James speaks up. "What about your family, young man?"

"My father is Stuart Minkus." The entire room goes silent at Farkle's confession. He refuses to meet anyone's eye, but Maya doesn't flinch away from him. She is strong tower and he is desperately leaning on her.

Hank coughs. "I'm sorry, did you say Stuart Minkus?"

"Yes." Stuart Minkus was an established industrialist, and was well known for beginning to develop a 'cure' for mutants. Word had gotten around that he sent his son to boarding school so he could better focus on his education, but nobody knew which school he went to. "I couldn't live with him anymore. Not knowing that he wouldn't accept me for who I am." That story went around months ago, meaning that Farkle had left home just as the developments for the cure began.

Everyone is silent and Maya's fingers curl easily around Farkle's wrist. "He belongs here."

Sunny is the first to speak up. "We have room."

"And h-his mutation is quite extraordinary." Hank adds, smiling lightly at Farkle.

Maya looks to James, silently begging him to side with her. She just needed him.

"From the looks of it...I don't see a reason why we shouldn't take him in."

—

 _"Maya."_

"Phoenix!? Where the hell have you been? I've been calling for you for the last two days."

 _"I told you to be careful."_

"What?"

 _"Your telepathy..."_

"Yeah, you took it."

 _"No, I didn't. It's still there."_

Maya rolls her eyes. "No, it isn't."

 _"Your powers are stronger than you realize, Maya. They can't simply be 'lost' or 'taken' from you."_

"So, what happened?"

 _"Not yet, Maya."_

"What do you mean?"

 _"Have patience, Maya. I'll be in **touch.**_ _"_

—

* * *

 **+It is currently Thursday, October 20th, 2016 & my birthday is tomorrow, so I wanted to get this chapter out for you.**

 **+So, basically, everything's kind of just starting up. We're going to learn more about everyone's powers and their families and such...**

 **+And what a bad, bad, bad, thing George did! I think I have a bit of an author's crush on James Brennan. Also, what is Asher's deal man?**

 **+And we'll find out what that weird little tracking thingy was in the museum with Lucas, Zay, Maya, and Riley.**

 **+Oh, and that cryptic Phoenix...wonder what's going on there.**

 **+I'm working on 7 & 8 right now, and they'll be up in the soon coming future!**

 **- _[Breathe Me]_ by _Sia_**

 **xoxoxo, Minnie.**


	7. hope of morning

—

 _all the pain i can't explain away won't fade_

 _all the secrets silenced by the shame_

* * *

"Farkle, don't be nervous." Maya comforts him, squeezing his shoulder.

"I'm not nervous."

"Okay, then don't lie to me."

Farkle looked back at the eyes that slightly mirrored his own and sighed, "Sorry." Maya had already become like his older sister in a way. She was protective with a sarcastic, dry humor that made him laugh. They were currently awaiting the results of his Danger Room test, and though nobody would say it, they were all worried that he wouldn't be placed with them. There was no real way to lighten the tense atmosphere in the room. "I just want to be with you guys."

Lucas smiled up at him from his position on the floor. "Don't worry. You're going to be placed with us."

Zay nodded. "Yeah, you can't _not_ be placed with us."

Riley looks up from her homework, giving him a smile of assurance.

"Were you guys nervous?" Farkle asks as Maya turns back to her desk, bending her head over her history notes. "When you were being placed?"

Everyone freezes slightly. They never really talked about anything that happened before Maya came. There was never a real discussion about their home lives or how they got there in the first place.

"I was here first, for a while." Riley begins, avoiding Farkle's eyes. "Then, Zay came, then Lucas, and last Maya. The only one we were nervous for was Maya."

Maya runs a hand through her tangled locks. She really needs to wash her hair. "Yeah, I was nervous. But, you don't need to be Farkle, you belong with us, no matter where you're placed."

It had taken a while for Farkle to take his test. He didn't really have belongings with him and they couldn't go back to his house and get them. Farkle had to start almost completely over. They bought him new clothes and books, binders, all his essentials. Everyone understood his fear to go home. His father would have him locked down if he even stepped within 100 miles of his house. He hadn't explained how he got to Florida, since his home was in northern California, so nobody asked.

He wasn't good at understanding when a subject wasn't supposed to be talked about, but when that conversation was shut down quickly, he understood that he should leave it at that.

—

The Phoenix begins to visit Maya much more often. They talk a lot, but never about any of the things they should probably be talking about. Maya likes to discuss trivial things like her schoolwork or the cooling weather, nothing important. Most times, they don't talk. Phoenix teaches Maya to meditate, to center her mind and her body with her emotions and energy. She's vomited a lot more than she'd like to say, usually because she can't find real balance. She exits sessions with Phoenix with vertigo and bile rising. Her throat begins to burn before she throws up, but that was only in the beginning.

Her body no longer shakes as frequently, her heart rate slows down, things slowly slip back to normal.

With the exception of the loss of her telepathy.

Phoenix still wouldn't explain to her why it was gone, or if it was ever coming back. And it made her angry. Some days she mourned the loss, others she cried, the departure of a vital part of her life was painful. As much as she attempted to push past it and be thankful for her remaining telekinesis, it was still a very much open wound. She wasn't coping with the loss well at all. Every time she asked (begged) for it back, Phoenix told her to wait, that there were things she needed to see first.

Maya didn't want to wait. She wanted her power back, not for superiority, but because it made her feel safe. It gave her some control. It made her feel...better.

It wasn't easy to explain, you had to have it to understand and it was gone.

Many things were hard to understand, Phoenix knew a lot more about her and her powers than she originally believed. So, when Maya asked about what happened in the museum, how in the brief moment in which her and her friends were all in physical contact, they were able to sense another mutant, Phoenix was able to explain it to her. Though everything he/she/it said came in cryptic messages, Maya was learning to decode their literal meanings and she started figuring out the hidden ones as well.

She knew that her and her friends were stronger together, but it was easy for them to get lost.

Their powers were especially strong, even as individuals, and Harper told them so multiple occasions.

The most obvious was Lucas' power, his optic blasts were potent and extremely dangerous. His blasts could easily kill someone, on purpose or accident. He was cautious about even practicing his power, for fear that he might lose control one day. His hesitation was obvious, and he only worked with Harper after Riley and Zay had already left.

His blasts weren't wild, though, should he lose control one day, there was no doubt in his mind that he would kill one of the people he cared for. It took him a while to warm up to working next to Maya. She was usually with him, not saying anything, just comforting him with her presence.

Zay's power seemed to be more reserved, but only because that was the area he chose to be reserved in. His ability to decrease the thermal energy in his surrounding area, meant he did more than just make 'ice'. He lowered the entire temperature in the environment and his own body temperature without harming himself as well. While he could easily manipulate other forms of liquids, he could also create ice structures on his own. It was true, his power bent to his will and his will alone. Zay shifted the ice into different shapes making beautiful sculptures and froze entire lakes with just the tip of his finger.

This, however, meant energy exertion, causing his own ice to travel up his arms and shoulders. This change shocked him back into a shell, making him pull back.

But, it was Riley, who crawled into herself more than anyone. Her personality appeared to be bright and lively, and she was (bright and lively, that is), yet the constant effect of her powers took it's tool on her mental stability. She now wore her gauntlets everyday instead of just during her training. With each passing day, the intake of electrical energy kept her awake for days on end, and she couldn't sleep even if she wanted to. It felt like fire crackling in her bones.

Most nights Riley used the energy to speed off, far enough from the school that they wouldn't hear what she was doing. Taking off her gauntlets, she'd pushed her hands to the sky, sending off large streamers and bolts of lighting into the sky. And though she marveled at it's beauty, the strength of the current was only controlled by her. If she let go for even a fraction of second, the probability of someone getting seriously injured was high.

They were dangerous all on their own, and it's scary for teenagers to digest the fact that they could easily kill someone if they forgot what they were doing.

So, Maya actively participated with Feeny in her therapy sessions. She listened and talked, but if she were speaking honestly, her sessions with Phoenix seemed much better. Feeny talked to her physically now, she worked on not responding in her head, and filtering her thoughts and opinions. She was beginning to learn what was acceptable to say and what was not instead of living in total silence.

It felt like learning to walk all over again. She stumbled and tripped a lot, but she was doing, and she was proud of herself for it. It took her a while to understand why it was so hard for to actually speak. Not just talk, but really speak, to say what she was feeling in the moment and then start dealing with it instead of shoving it into a little box.

Like she tried to do with her memories.

Still, she didn't talk about Marnie. Maya completely refused to even mention Marnie's name. There was no room to even think about bringing Marnie up. That was an area that Feeny attempted to get her to talk about, and Maya never budged. Of course there were times where it would have been easy to bring up a memory, an episode, an event, that happened with Marnie; yet that was only because of most of Maya's life happened with Marnie. She couldn't think about anything from her past without seeing Marnie face, smiling or laughing or crying or sleeping. Marnie flooded everything that she did. It continuously got harder to avoid thinking about her.

Riley reminded her so much of Marnie, and Zay's satire humor was the kind Marnie enjoyed, Farkle was brilliant like Marnie, and Lucas was easy to talk to just like her.

And then the dreams started again. Maya thought that they had stopped for a while, she knew that in actuality she hadn't slept nearly as much as she used to.

God, she used to sleep.

She slept all the time when Marnie died.

That was because her dreams were the only place she could talk to Marnie, it was the only place she could smile and laugh. Her dreams were the only place she could avoid grieving the loss of her best friend, her sister. In her mind, Marnie was never gone, she was just on a trip. And one day she'd wake up and Marnie would be lying next to her. Keeping Marnie in her dreams kept Maya from moving on. That way she never had to lose her. She don't know what she lost on that day in the cold, Maya just knew that it wasn't Marnie.

Maybe it was her sanity.

And if it was then that was okay.

It was probably a bad thing if she thought it was okay to lose her mind if it meant she could see Marnie. Except she meant more time asleep than awake, and then she didn't want to do anything but sleep. Katy and Shawn worried about her, and Maya knew couldn't tell them that she talked with Marnie in her dreams or they'd send her off to the nuthouse.

Now she was deprived of Marnie and she needed to see her desperately. Marnie was the only person she longed to talk to, she was above Phoenix and Riley and even her parents. She hated to say that Marnie came before her parents, except it was true, and it hurt.

When Maya laid down that night, she wasn't sure what to expect. She didn't have school the next morning and she was sure all her friends would be sleeping until noon. Which meant that Maya would be alone the entire night.

It meant that she'd be alone with Marnie the entire, she'd slip back into the state of not knowing if Marnie was dead or alive. Maya would no longer know if _she, herself_ was dead or alive. Or maybe she was just in limbo?

She wanted to sleep, but she didn't want to sleep. Either she'd sleep and not want to wake up or sleep and not be able to properly wake up. Yet, there was something inside of her telling her that she needed to see Marnie tonight. Even if it was only for a few minutes, she had to see the girl that she loved more than life itself. So, that night, she was unsure if she'd find herself in a dream or a nightmare.

—

 _"Maya!"_ _Spinning on her heel, Maya saw Marnie smiling and running towards her. They were on their childhood playground again, it was Marnie's favorite place. "Where have you been? I've been trying to talk to you for weeks!"_

 _She sucks in a breath when Marnie touches her arm. "I'm sorry. I've been busy."_

 _"Understandable, there's a lot to do in the land of the living." Marnie shrugs and drops down on the swing, pulling Maya onto the one next to hers._

 _Glancing at her, Maya sucks in a breath. "The land of the living?"_

 _And, Marnie doesn't hesitate to answer what she's really asking her. "Yeah, Reds. The people who are still alive, it's called the land of the living. And the people who aren't alive are in the land of the dead."_

 _"Is that where you are?"_

 _Marnie shakes her head. "Not exactly."_

 _"Then_ — _" Maya tries, but Marnie cuts her off._

 _"I don't want to talk about this now. We don't have a lot of time." Marnie kicks her feet a little and stares at Maya. "So, how are you? I've missed you so much? Why haven't you been sleeping?"_

 _She tries not to look guilty, but her dead best friend is admonishing her for not sleeping enough. "I've been too stressed to sleep."_

 _"Why are you stressed?"_

 _Maya sighs and crosses her legs at the ankle. Looking up, she sees the sky is as clear and blue as it could possibly be. If she weren't dreaming this place would be perfect. She felt carefree in Marnie's presence, she felt free. This is a place she'd like to be as much as she could._

 _"I lost my telepathy."_ _To her surprise, Marnie doesn't gasp or shriek or even flinch. She barely even blinks when Maya tells her. At first, this makes Maya mad. Marnie had to know that Maya's powers had become almost the most important piece of her life. They dominated nearly everything she did for months. And as much as she called them a nuisance and cursed them, she knew she needed them. Her powers were like quiet company. (Ever since Marnie died.)_

 _"No, you didn't."_

 _This is the second person/being to tell her that her power isn't really gone. And she's sick and tired of that. "Yes, it freaking is Marnie."_

 _Marnie doesn't notice Maya's anger, she simply stares straight ahead. "No, darling, it's not." Maya's getting annoyed with her flippancy quickly._

 _"Then where the hell is it? Cause I sure as hell don't know!" Her outburst is passionate, something Marnie isn't used to with Maya._

 _"Hun_ — _"_

 _God, Maya hated it when Marnie did that. Her voice would go quiet and her eyes would go big, then Maya would forget why she was getting mad._

 _"No." Maya's own voice harden and her eyes darkened._

 _Marnie looked up noticing the color was quickly draining from their world. The bright pinks and blues were turning grey swiftly, like someone had turned down the saturation. Maya was white knuckling the chain on the swing set._

 _Even in her own dreams she can't properly control her emotions._

 _Looking at her, Marnie tries to calm her down, but Maya refuses to let her speak._

 _"Where are they then? If you know they aren't gone then where are they?" Her voice is rising and the details in her dream started burning away like film._

 _Marnie eyes pleaded silently while Maya jumped up from the swing, hair whipping around. "I can't tell you."_

 _"We promised each other that we'd never keep secrets!" Maya argues back. "We promised that we'd always tell each other everything, no matter how pissed we'd get."_

 _Getting up, Marnie stares harshly back at her. "Well I made that promise when I was alive and now I'm not."_

 _Maya's speechless at Marnie's bite. Blinking slowly, Maya backs up._

 _"Seeing you used to be the only thing I looked forward to for months. I loved seeing you in my dreams, but now I think they're turning into nightmares."_

—

Farkle wakes up in a cold sweat. He can't remember what he was dreaming about, only that he felt like he couldn't wake up for the entirety of it. Wiping his forehead, he gets up and slips on his sneakers. His throat is scratchy and dry, and his room is starting to feel suffocating. Walking straight through the door, he looks around the mostly dark hallway. When he sees it's empty, he sucks in a breath and phases through the floor. After receiving the tour of the school, he was able to successfully calculate which floors, doors, and walls he could phase through and how long he'd need to hold his breath.

Landing quietly on the hallway carpet, he makes his way to the kitchen. Just as his eyes adjusted to the dark, a light flicks on. He's met with a mass of dark red hair in the doorway.

Maya.

"H-hey." He chokes out. Her stormy eyes are intense, more so than usual. "What are you doing up?"

"Nightmares."

She says it so casually that he barely even caught what she said. Farkle already learned that Maya was not the type of person to share more than she wanted, so when she says that she's having nightmares, he's caught off guard.

Unsure if she wants to talk about, Farkle coughs. "Bad ones?"

"They start out good, and then everything just turns grey." Her eyes look tired, like she's been waiting the whole night for him to get up and go downstairs. "Why are you up?"

"Same reason, I think." She's not staring him down, but he's still trapped under her gaze. The corner of her lips turn up only minutely in understanding.

Pushing off the door frame, Maya opens the freezer and hands him ice cream. He holds it as she goes to the drawer and grabs two spoons, and then surprises him by going to the pantry and grabbing pretzel sticks. Hopping up on the counter, she hands him a spoon and opens the bag of pretzels. Maya gestures for him to open the ice cream, which he does, and she digs her spoon in. Occasionally dipping her pretzel in her ice cream, she nods at him, and he follows her lead, albeit hesitantly.

Once he does eat it, he's not sure if he'll eat anything else.

"Oh my god!" Farkle looks at her in shock. "This is really good!"

She smiles smugly. "I know."

He continues eating and Maya chuckles.

"Do you do this often?"

She shakes her head. "Only when the nightmares are really bad." He wants to ask her about them, because the tub of ice cream is half empty. "What's it like? Walking through walls and stuff?"

He shrugs his shoulders and lets the ice cream slide down his throat. She pulls the tub away. "Hey!" He whisper-yells in protest.

"I wanna know Farkle."

Farkle sighs and thinks for a moment. "I don't know. It's kind of like being weightless. Like everything that's supposed to stop me... just can't anymore. Nothing's locked or hidden. Solids are like gases. If I can hold my breath long enough, I can walk through it." He's never really talked about it because he never had anybody to talk about it with. It wasn't anything that he was entirely able to grasps. Molecules in solids were so tightly packed that another solid with tightly packed molecules wouldn't be able to pass through. He was working with Hank on figuring out how he was able to do it. "It's hard."

She doesn't say she understands, but she nods and oddly enough the movement feels as close to a hug as he's gotten in years.

They don't talk for a while, she eats in silence and he follows her lead. The tub is almost finished when she looks up at him. "Feel better?"

"Much." He swallows quickly, chewing his pretzel right after. Maya allows him the last glob of ice cream before throwing out the carton and folding the pretzels shut again.

She's about to walk out without speaking, but she stops and doesn't turn around. "It's gonna take a while to adjust. It's weird at first and overwhelming. But, you belong here Farkle. You belong with us."

He smiles even though he knows that she can't see it and watches her exit.

—

Asher groans and shoves his hands in his pockets. He wants to touch the plants. He wants to touch the trees and feel the leaves.

 _No_ , he does not want to touch the plants; he wants to see what he'll do to them once he does. But, every time he tries to not care, he sees Maya vomiting on the roof. He sees her face twisting into shame, he sees her recoiling in humiliation. Every time he wants to forget, he sees the way she forced herself to leave him.

He wanted to tell her— _Oh, god he wanted to tell her_ —about it. She would understand and she'd still like him. Yet, whenever he thought about telling her, all he saw was her pushing him away, telling him that she couldn't deal with this, that it was too much for her.

Asher wouldn't be able to handle her rejection.

Sunny pulls him out of his reverie. "Are you alright, Ash?"

"Yeah," He lies. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

She raises a quizzical eyebrow. "About Maya?"

Of course she knows what he's thinking about. She can read him like a book and though Asher is good at avoidance, he's been unable to hide from her. Her hands are planted on her hips and Asher gives in immediately. Sunny's like his own mother, he couldn't lie to her without it gnawing at whatever's left of his soul.

So, he nods.

"What did you do?" Sunny sits next on the stool next to him, her dress flowing around her.

Asher's mouth drops open. "Why do you assume I did something?"

"Because as quiet as Maya is, she's a strong little woman, and you have tendency to push people away when they're starting to get close." Sunny nudges his shoulder with her own. "You tried to push me away." She reminds him.

"Yeah, but you keep clawing your way back in." He jokes, shaking his head.

Sunny smiles, tucking a curly hair behind her ear. "Maya can take a lot, Ash. She's very empathetic. But, I know she's not going to fight to be where it looks like she's not wanted. And I know you like her—"

"I don't like her!" She looks at knowingly, her lips quirked into a slight smile. "Only a little."

"And you need to tell her."

Asher knows that that's the end of the conversation. Like always, Sunny's right and she speaks with finality. He runs a hand through his black hair and refuses to look at her.

"How am I supposed to tell her?"

She shrugs as she gets up and her curly mane bounces with the movement. "Take her for a walk, she's been working pretty hard lately and it gets stuffy in the school, Ash."

He looks up at the darkening clouds and then back at Sunny. It was easy to see that it was about to rain. "This isn't exactly the weather for that."

"I guess I have to do everything, huh? Only this time, for you Ash." Tilting her head up, Sunny focused her energy and looked at the sky. Asher watched as her eyes turned completely white. The clouds began to move away and the sun took their place. The entire roof was bathed in natural light and a light breeze picked up. Releasing a slow breath, Sunny's eyes turned back to their natural blue color and she smiles at him. "Good luck." Her winds push his hair around and he chuckles as she leaves.

As much as he'd like to completely ignore everything Sunny told him, he couldn't even if he tried to. So, he makes his way downstairs, to Maya's room.

His hand is poised to knock on the door, but he hesitates. Flashes of her unable to meet his eyes, to even turn around and look at him, come back to the forefront of his brain. He drops his hand, then raises it again.

Then, a voice clears behind him.

Maya's door swings open.

"What are you doing here?" Two voices say in unison.

He looks at a slightly confused Maya first, then turns around to see Lucas right behind him. Both are waiting for an answer, but he only came to talk to one. There's only one who deserves an answer.

"I came to see you." He says finally, and he sees her face brighten a bit, though she tries to squash the smile forming immediately.

Lucas, however, is still standing right behind him. "Why?"

"I believe I was talking to Maya." He bites to him over his shoulder.

Maya steps forward, causing both boys to step back. "It's okay, Lucas." He still looks defensive, so Maya steps around Asher to whisper something that he can't hear. Then Lucas' face softens and he slumps a bit. "I'll be back in a bit."

Asher wants to ask her what she said, but he knows that she doesn't owe him anything. Whatever is bubbling up needs to be put down. Lucas walks away and Maya turns back to Asher. "Yeah?"

"Can we go for a walk? There's something I need to show you." He tries not to sound cryptic, now that he knows that she hates that. But, that really wasn't fair considering she was an enigma all on her own.

"Where are we going?"

"There's something I want to show you." Her face shifts into exasperation so he quickly speaks again. "Please, just trust me this one time. And after this, if you don't want anything to do with me, I'll understand.

She hesitates for a second, he can see it clearly, yet, she nods, following him as he begins walking. He wishes that he couldn't feel her apprehension when following. He wants her to trust him, but trust is earned, and he hasn't earned that yet. He just needs to show why he pulled away, and maybe she won't hate him for it.

That is of course, if it works when he tries.

"We aren't going to the roof?" Maya freezes when she notices they aren't going in their usual direction. He's leading her out a back door and Asher really needs her to just trust him.

"I want to show you something Maya, if you'll let me." It's a question and a plead all in itself. She faced with an option: stay or go? And, she thinks about it. Actual chewing her lip, knitted eyebrows consideration.

Finally, she steps next to him and he continues walking. They go in silence. He pushes open the emergency exit at the end of the hallway, leading them down a set of stairs. They're covered in darkness until he opens another door. Light fills the stairwell and Maya steps onto the soft grass. She smiles. It's a garden, or something like it. Flowers and light bathe the entire area and ivy growing on the trellis.

"Maya." He calls her name softly, letting the door shut behind him.

Her face is bright, her eyes match the clear skies Sunny gave him. "When I show you, I need you to promise not to hate me."

She looks up at him, noting the tinge in his voice. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to say that try you'll and understand."

Maya blinks slowly before whispering, "I'll try."

Asher pulls his sleeves up and set his hands on the flowers, closing his eyes so he couldn't see her reaction.

"Oh my goodness."

—

It's early and it's late.

The only thing Lucas knows is that Maya went off with Asher.

"Dude, you're gonna put a hole in my floor, stop pacing." Zay comments. "Sit down and stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying." Lucas bites back a little harsher than he intended. Wincing at the sound of his own voice, Lucas apologizes. "I'm sorry. But, out of all the people in this school, she had to pick Asher to be secret friends with?" He looks at Zay who seems entirely unconcerned. "Don't you care that she's been hiding him from us?"

Zay shakes his head. "No, and I don't know why you care either."

"She was keeping a secret from us, we're friends, we don't do that." Lucas chides, annoyed with Zay's indifference. "Does the sanctity of friendship mean nothing to you?"

Looking up at Lucas, Zay chuckles. "No. It doesn't. We've barely known Maya for a few months Lucas, chill out. I don't know why you care so much anyways, we don't tell each other everything, anyways. So, she's friends with Asher, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that she didn't tell us!"

"She didn't tell us? Or she didn't tell _you_?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes at him, even though Zay could barely tell. "What do you mean?"

Zay realized that Lucas was genuinely asking him this question. He really didn't know. "Nothing, man. We all have stuff we don't tell each other. Nobody knows how we know Asher, or how I met you, because we never talk about what happened. None of us talk about what happened before we came here. None of us even bring up our lives before we cam here. Those people don't exist anymore, they're dead. We're all starting over here, we've just been doing longer than here. Maya is still creating her 'after', give her some more time."

—

"Was it Asher? Was that who you were warning me about?"

 _"Did you think things would be that easy? No, the boy that you hold feelings for is not the one you need to watch."_

"I do not have feelings for Asher!"

 _"I'd prefer it if we didn't lie to each other."_

"You lie to me all the time."

 _"I have never lied to you, Maya. I have only waited until you were ready to understand certain things. Others, however, you will need to figure out on your own."_

"I'm ready to understand where my telepathy's gone..."

 _"No, you are not."_

"And how in the hell would you know that?"

 _"Because when you are ready, you will **feel** it."_

—

"Riley, your parents have been calling." Feeny stops the brunette in the hallway on her way to breakfast with her friends. "They're saying that your phone keeps going straight to voicemail."

She nods indifferently, looking straight through him. "That's probably because it was ringing and wouldn't stop, so I might have given it a couple of 'streamers' at three in the morning last week."

"You need to talk to them—"

Immediately, Riley shakes her head and steps back from him. "I don't _need_ to do anything. You want me to talk to them and they want me to talk to them, but I don't. So, I'm not going to."

Feeny looks at her with sad eyes, and she tries to steel herself off. As much as the young lady was sweet, she was just a stubborn, she got that from her mom."Riley, they just want to talk to you. What happened was not your fault, you do know that, right?"

"I know that, I know it's not my fault. It's their fault." Her tone pitches and Feeny notices the change in her demeanor. Her lip pulls in a bit and her arms cross over her chest. "I talked and talked for months, but they didn't listen. I don't blame myself. I don't have any guilt, and I don't regret a thing. It was their fault. Now, they're paying the price of their negligence."

"Riley Calliope Matthews." Feeny calls her full name, making her freeze. "You don't mean that."

Running a hand through her hair, she sighs. "But, I do. And I'm not sorry that I do. I can love my parents to death, and I can still blame them for what happened. I blame them, because it's their fault and not mine. They know that, you know that, and I know that. I do not have any guilt, and I will not allow them to use me to assuage their guilt."

"One phone call." He pleads.

"Not even a vowel." Riley argues back. She begins walking away and then spins around on her heel. "Don't come to me about them again, you should know better than that."

—

"James, you know that this cannot be solved with you avoiding me." George calls as James walks by, thumbing through the outline plan for his political science lecture. "I know you don't agree with what I did, but that doesn't change the fact that it's done."

James shakes his head, both men not facing each other. "I need time."

"What's done is done, James. I want us to move on."

"You've broken my trust and Maya's as well." James shuffles the papers, giving his hands something to do. "The only difference is one of us knows."

George hangs his head. "I did what's best for her."

"No. You did what _you_ thought was best for her and disregarded my opinion entirely. You didn't compromise, like we promised to do when we disagreed, you just did it." James' harsh tone cuts George in ways he never thought it could. "You know, you're the smartest person in the room George, but you're not the only person in the room."

—

* * *

 **Awe, poor James! He's mad at George-y!**

 **I will not be updating for a while, I'm going on a hopefully short hiatus. If you didn't know, Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States, and I am a woman, as well as a person of color, and I'm scared right now. What many people don't understand is that we aren't just facing Trump as President.**

 **\- Trump has a Republican majority in House of Representatives.**

 **\- Trump has 1-3 Supreme Court justices to appoint.**

 **\- Trump has a Republican majority in the Senate as well.**

 **There's literally not much stopping him right now.**

 **When the votes came in, I started vomiting, like right there on the spot. The second he hit 270 electoral votes, I threw up. I'm sick at the thought of him ruling this country and while things aren't final until December 19th, I know the results won't change.**

 **This country has made a huge mistake and I don't know what to do.**

 **I am trying to trust in America, not _Americans_ , but America, the country. And I hope that this system will not fail me.**

 **Thank you for allowing me this time, I'll be back as soon as things cool down.**

 **Also, I was too sick to proof this, I'll do it when I come back, I'm so sorry guys.**

 **xoxo, Minnie**


	8. cosmic love

—

 _and i was in the darkness_

 _so darkness i became_

* * *

Maya waited patiently as she could in front of her door, listening for the light knock. Walking back into her bathroom, she checked her hair again, ensuring that it would over her neck, and adjusted the sleeves of her worn black coat. November was coming to an end and even though they were in Florida, they were so north that it was already getting cold. A chill passed through her body as she slid back over to the door in her socks. Maya rubbed her sweating palms against the spandex of her tights, anxiety building quickly.

It's only two minutes past the time he normally knocks and she's already resigned to the fact that she's been stood up. Stepping away from the door, she's ready to undress and climb back into bed when she hears it.

One light tap, at the very top of the door, muffled by the sound of a jacket sleeve.

Unlocking her door, she lets Asher inside, lightening his weight as much as she could without feeling sick. "Hey." She whispers.

He looks down at her shirt, and asks, "Polyester?"

"One hundred percent." She confirms.

He smiles and she sees his fingers twitch. At least she knows what that means now. She pulls the bottom of her shirt away from her body and lets him touch the hem of it. He looks grateful.

Asher follows her to the floor in front of her window and watches as she opens it. Sitting on the side of her bed hidden by the board, Maya relaxes as Asher lays in front of her. He spreads his coat on her leg, and rests himself carefully on her leg. As much as their contact is blocked, she knows he relishes in the closeness despite the lack of skin on skin. Which was good, aside from their weird genes, they were still hormonal teenagers alone in her room, in the dark.

She's learned that she can touch his hair, and so she does.

Maya combs her fingers through Asher's hair, making sure to avoid his scalp. "Why were you afraid to show me? Why didn't you tell me that night? Why'd you let me get so mad at you?"

He leans into her touch, reveling in the contact. Asher barely hears what she's saying, but he knows the answers are important to her. So, he does his best anyways. "I wasn't afraid, I just wasn't ready. And I didn't tell you that night because I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't want you to get mad at me, but you were right to, I wasn't sure what to do."

"So what changed your mind?"

"Sunny. She told me that you'd understand and I trust her."

Tugging lightly on the ends, Maya continues with the motions while Asher hums under her hands. She tugs a bit harder and he hisses audibly. "Did that hurt? I'm sorry."

Asher turns red and he quickly tries to fight the feeling. "Uh, no, that definitely didn't hurt."

Maya bites her bottom lip and makes sure to file away that reaction. As they sit in silence, Maya's brain works to put the puzzle pieces together. "That's why you never touched my skin."

"I couldn't, it didn't matter how much I wanted to." Asher nods, letting his eyes fall shut. The cool air blowing in through Maya's window, kept them cool on her room floor.

"So you're going to be like...you know, forever?"

Asher grunts and when her hands stop in his hair, he knows she wants a real response. "Yeah, if I keep using my power, I'll live forever."

They fell into their comfortable silence listening to the still, sleeping world just outside her window. The entire school was asleep on the other side of her door. It wasn't easy to sneak Asher in her room, but she'd mastered the art after a few weeks. It wasn't like they could actually _do_ anything, so there wasn't actually a problem with what they were doing.

Still, Maya'd feel a lot better about it if she didn't have to hide it from her friends. She was just worried about them, knowing them, they'd quickly insert themselves into what she was doing. And she didn't understand the meaning behind Lucas' reluctance to leave her with Asher. There was a lot going on that she didn't quite understand, including what she was doing with Asher. Maya would still need to figure things out for herself before she went and told her friends.

As much as she didn't want to seem clingy, she wanted to know what they were. Whatever it was that they were doing in the dark of her room at five in the morning was undefined. And while she knew the conversation would be painful and terribly awkward, it was necessary for her.

She keeps her hands in his hair, and looks at her rose on the windowsill. "The rose. It's from you." Asher nods in confirmation and she smiles. "Thank you." Her alarm clock goes off on the other side of her bed, signaling to her that their time is up. Using her telekinesis to drop her notebook on it, Maya whispers to Asher, "We have to get up now."

Asher groans, "Five more minutes."

"You have to get ready for class." Maya reminds him. "I have to get ready for breakfast." Her stomach growls as if proving this fact.

But, Asher nudges his head carefully back in her hands and despite herself, she keeps her fingers weaving through his hair. She enjoys his uncharacteristic purrs and hums which she knew she would never hear at any other time. The noises cause a deep warmth to spread in her stomach and makes her heart batter against her rib cage. "Two minutes."

He doesn't argue or barter for more, two minutes is more than she gave him yesterday. Asher just murmurs something unintelligible and continues to hum.

—

"Sorry, I overslept a bit." Maya lies as she slides into her spot at the breakfast table. Farkle smiles at her in greeting, Riley only nods with her mouth full of a pancake, Zay barely looks up from his waffles, but Lucas eyes her. "What?" She asks, taking a bite of her banana.

Lucas sits up straighter, looking her over. "You look...different." She shifts uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny.

"No, I don't." She bites back. Looking at Riley, Maya starts up a conversation with her, pulling her attention away from Lucas. But, he refuses to stop staring at her. "Stop."

"What were you doing?" He asks, leaning forward in his seat.

"Nothing." She lies again quickly.

Lucas taps Zay, who looks up at him. "Doesn't she look different?"

Zay stares at her for a moment before agreeing. "Yeah, you're all flushed."

Riley looks from her food for the first time, and nods. "Are you sick?"

"No, I don't know, maybe."

Another lie, Maya knew exactly why her skin was so warm. In every extra moment she had where she couldn't touch Asher, he spoke. He spoke beautiful, warm, slightly sinful things that heated her face, and charged the air around them. It almost hurt to be pulled away from him, but she had to go, and still, his voice swam around in her mind, caressing every thought. She couldn't shake the sound even if she wanted to, though it's not like she wanted to.

Zay's already talking to Farkle and she can still feel Lucas' eyes on her, so she makes sure to avoid them. She really wishes she had her telepathy back already.

"Thanksgiving's coming up." Riley finally says, swallowing her juice. Everyone falls silent and Lucas takes his attention from Maya. "Feeny says that a lot of people are going home."

And though she wished that it didn't happen, Maya's mind immediately flits to Asher. Then, she's struck with how much she really doesn't know about him or her friends for that matter. They rarely talked about their lives in the 'before'. Did they have families to get home too? Of course, they did. There were people who missed their children, who wanted to see them, they had lives that didn't involve the school or her.

"I'm not going anywhere." Farkle says nonchalantly.

Nodding, Zay claps his back. "Same here."

"Where would I go?" Lucas mutters, taking a bite of his toast.

"This is my home." Riley smiles, looking up at her friends.

Maya belatedly realizes that everyone was looking at her. "We're spending Thanksgiving together." She smiles, only half focused on what she was saying. Could she go home to her parents? Could she go back to New York and not explode? Just the thought of her hometown was churning her stomach. As much as she tried fighting last night's dinner and the banana she ingested only moments before, her insides wouldn't settle down. If she were to rush out now, they would follow her, and that was the last thing she needed.

Thankfully, Farkle reminded them of their impending class, and they began to clean up. Maya stayed like she usually did, washing the dishes with Lucas.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable back there." He apologizes, avoiding her eyes.

Maya nods, because as much as they argue with each other, she's never truly mad at him. "You were worried about a friend. It's fine." She tries not to notice the way he tenses when she says friend. "If you don't mind me asking, why aren't you going home for Thanksgiving?"

Lucas glances at her as she rinses the dishes and loads them to dry. "Zay and I can't go home. We could, but we're not exactly welcome there anymore." Washing another plate, he focuses on the task while he speaks. "A lot of things happened back home...things that I can't explain. But, there's no way we're going back there yet."

Bending to load his plate, she keeps her eyes down. "Oh."

"What about you? Why aren't you going home?" Lucas asks, reflecting her question.

"There's not a lot for me in New York. The person, the person who used to be my home isn't there anymore, so I don't have anywhere to go."

Lucas hands her the last plate and turns off the sink. "Well, this might be the wrong thing to say but, I'm glad that you don't have anywhere to go."

Maya chuckles. "And I'm glad that a pack of cowboys rode you and Zay out of the wild, wild west. Are you ever planning to hitch a horse and win back your ranch, Sundance?"

He laughs as he dries his hands and throws the dish towel over his shoulder. "I don't know yet. We'll see."

—

"Thanksgiving is very close." Feeny states. Riley doesn't need to look up to know who's standing in front of her open door. She begins pulling her notebooks off her desk and doesn't respond to his statement. "Two days away."

Riley continues packing up her books for class. "Yeah, it is."

He takes a deep breath and prepares himself for the emotions and says, "A flight has been arranged."

She turns around and puts a hand over her heart. Feigning a light smile, Riley gasps. "Oh my gosh. Are you going somewhere? Is their a family that I didn't know about?"

Feeny snorts at her sarcasm. "Riley. Your parents are expecting to see you at the airport tomorrow afternoon."

Dropping the fake surprise on her face, she plops down at her desk chair. "It's too bad I won't be there. But, don't worry, I'm sure they're used to me not meeting expectations." Her voice deadpans and her eyes darken. "I'm not going home." She says it with such finality that Feeny almost drops the conversation entirely.

"They really want to see you." He tries, leaning against the door frame. He knows that Riley can be emotional, she's naturally empathetic and that's what he needs to appeal to. "They miss you a lot."

Shoving another textbook in her bag, Riley shrugs. "It seems they want a lot of things I can't supply."

Feeny continues trying to reason with her. "It's been a long time, Riley. You don't let them visit. You don't call—"

Riley's frustration flares up quickly and she lets her bag fall to the floor as she stares up at him. "And do you think that those facts might point to the nearly imperceptible hints that maybe I don't want to see them?" She asks, balling a fist. I" don't want to be near them. I don't answer the phone calls or the texts, I don't let them visit, I don't go back there, I stay away because I want to be away." Riley explains, running an angry hand through her hair. Electricity is fighting it's way through her body and setting her nerve endings on fire.

"Riley, please."

And she can feel him pushing, and pleading, and begging to be let in; but, she pushes back. It's only common courtesy to ask, and maybe in a different situation she would've let him in.

"No! You stay the hell out of my head!"

The currents rack through her small frame, energy coursing in every inch of her. So, Riley knows that she has to leave, she can't stay in the room, not with him looking at her like she spat on a puppy. She pushes past him muttering an excuse, and walks down the stairs and outside. Her power's seeking release and she has to give in to it. Reaching the field, Riley pulls off her gauntlets and exhales as slowly as she can. Crouching to the ground, her energy feels like fire licking her bones and she screams in agony. She doesn't want to give in, she wants to be controlled, she wants to _control her freaking powers_ , but she's too tired and too damn emotional to fight with her body.

Opening her palms, Riley pushes everything out. Waves and waves of electricity struggle for their exit and it turns into a violent electrical storm inside herself and out. They rip throughout her every limb and depart harshly into the sky. The clouds absorb everything and they crackle with the power she gives out. With another anguished cry, Riley forces as much as she can out in the shortest amount of time.

Her body jerks with last of her energy and she knows that it was too much for her. Her brain short circuits on the sudden and total loss of her power.

Riley's vision goes black and she falls backwards.

When she opens her eyes again, she's laying on Maya's bed, pillows underneath her head. Her eyes adjust to the dim light in the room and she takes in her surroundings. Lucas is laying on the floor by the foot of the bed, using Maya's shirts as a pillow; Zay is sitting in the desk chair, with his feet propped up on the edge of bed; Farkle leans against the head of the bed, tucked in the corner. Riley shifts to look for Maya and feels the noticeable weight on her right side. Maya's arm is slung around her waist, the pillows weren't pillows at all, it was Maya's small body.

Zay wakes up first, and nudges Farkle awake too. "Look who's up."

Lucas sits up, stretching and rolling his neck. Maya shifts next to Riley to look down at her.

"What happened?" Riley's voice is hoarse and sounds totally shot. She feels tired and weak.

Maya sits up a bit and helps Riley do the same, but keeps them closer to laying down than sitting upright. "We found you passed out in the field during the storm." Riley's eyebrows furrow a bit. "There was a freak storm, completely lightning, no rain, no thunder. So we went looking for you and when we saw that you weren't in your room, we figured you had to be out in the field. So we ran out to get you."

"You guys ran outside during a freaking lightning storm?" Riley asks looking at their unapologetic faces. Maya's heartbeat is quiet company and allows her body to pick up a faster pace than the barely there one it had before.

Lucas nods. "We couldn't find you."

"We needed to make sure you were okay." Zay explains, leaning forward.

Riley lays back against Maya. "Doc said you'd be weak for a while, but you're gonna be okay."

"I still can't believe you guys did that." Riley murmurs into Maya's shirt.

"You're our family, Riley. We couldn't leave you."

Zay swings his feet back on the floor. "Plus, we've got the whole day off."

A dark thought crosses Riley's mind, but Maya quickly comforts her. "I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. Nobody got hurt. We're all fine. You're fine. Everything else is just details."

"How long have I been out?" Riley mutters noting that it's a lot darker outside than it was when she was last awake.

Farkle finally speaks up from his place on the floor. "A couple of hours."

Everyone goes silent, but the unanswered question still sits in the middle of the room, taking up all the space. Riley sighs, and lays her head back, staring at the ceiling. "I don't know. I really don't know. I tried to control— _god_ —I tried to control it. But, it was too much, there was just so much freaking feelings and I had no clue what to do with them."

Maya hushes her, pulling her in closer, staying quiet. The room descends into compassionate silence as everyone stays close, reminding Riley that she had a family here.

Getting up to stretch her sleeping legs, Maya peeled herself away from Riley to help her blood recirculate. Deciding to go to the roof, Maya went to talk to Sunny about Asher.

She was horrified by what she saw when the door to the greenhouse swung open.

"Did the storm do this?" Maya asks looking at the shattered remains of the glass greenhouse.

Sunny turns around, her eyes are light, but her body is weary. "Yes and no."

Maya runs a hand through her hair. "What do you mean?"

"The storm didn't cause this, but the person who created the storm did..." Sunny whispers, watching as Maya's eyes go wide.

Immediately shaking her head, she rejects this idea. "No, she couldn't have. She was hundreds of feet away, Sunny."

"A scream is a scream, Maya. Especially when it's sonic." She explains as she walks past her, leaving Maya in the middle of the broken glass and her loud thoughts.

The idea that Riley had hidden her power from Maya made her inexplicably mad. They shouldn't be hiding things from each other.

"Hey." Maya didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. She immediately squashed her anger about Riley's secret. "Things are a wreck, huh?"

Maya nods sadly, it truly was a beautiful place up and here, and now it was ruined. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

She doesn't ask why he's apologizing, she knows that it wasn't his fault. But, she accepts it anyways. Turning around to look at him, she raises an eyebrow. Maya wants to take the plunge and just ask him and get it over with, but she's never been one to act on impulse. Besides, this most definitely was not the right time or place for that conversation anyways.

"It's not your fault."

But, he doesn't take that. "I've been taking up a lot of your time lately, maybe if you had been spending some more time with your friend, this wouldn't have happened."

It completely floored Maya when she realized that he actually did blame himself for what happened. As indirect as it was, he really did believe it was his fault. With the glass crunching under her boots, Maya walks over to where he stands, taking post right in front of him. Pulling the sleeves of her jacket over her hands she cups his face, making sure her hands are totally covered.

"Look at me." She doesn't start talking again until he lifts his eyes and looks at her again. "You don't get to blame yourself for this, I won't let you. This is not your fault. Every bad thing that happens is not your fault? Do you get that?"

"But—"

Immediately cutting him off, Maya keeps talking. "You didn't do this. This was not you." He stayed silent and Maya knew he was still warring with himself. "Do you think I'm a liar?"

"Of course not."

"Then believe me when I tell you that you had nothing to do with this."

His hard eyes soften and his face relaxes as he nods slowly. She drops her hands and smiles a bit. Black hair falls into gray eyes, and even though the wind picks up, it doesn't move.

—

(Maya's not sure if she should ask Riley about it.)

—

The school empties out fast, kids pack bags and leave in groves. By Wednesday afternoon, only Maya, Riley and the rest of them are left. She hasn't seen Asher since Tuesday afternoon, and she doesn't know if she's supposed to look for him or not. If she goes looking, it'll confirm the fact that she actually does want to be something more than what they already are. Or, she could simply leave her conscience in blissful ignorance about her feelings (whatever they may or may not be) for him.

So, she doesn't.

Instead, everyone gathers in Maya's room Wednesday afternoon, laughing while they're supposed to be finishing their homework, and going over boring Thanksgiving traditions.

"God, and every year we had to around the table and say what we're thankful for. I seriously hate Thanksgiving, man." Zay groans, throwing his head back. "Like, it could seriously be the worst year, and we'd still have to say that we're thankful for like freaking be alive or some corny garbage like that."

"And I freaking hate turkey." Riley quips, sewing a button back onto her favorite pair of worn jeans.

Lucas adds, "I hate stuffing."

"Cranberries make we want to vomit." Maya gags a bit.

They all go silent.

"This is my first Thanksgiving without my family." Farkle finally whispers, keeping his eyes down.

Everyone turns to look at him. Maya scoots back closer to Riley, making space for Farkle in her bed. He goes up quietly, taking a place beside her, his head resting on her top thigh.

It's unspoken that Maya's bed is the number one place for comfort as Maya is the number one person for comfort. Her touch is soothing and her voice is always calm. Any bad day was immediately soothed in Maya's bed, by her hand running through your hair, or her light sarcasm. Everyone leaned back on Maya.

Lucas tries to ignore the thick pang of jealously that courses in him when Farkle cuddles around Maya's lower half.

She was like a mother to them. Nobody wanted to say how much they truly missed their families, but Maya had become a mother-like figure to everyone. Even though she was small, so much smaller than everyone else, her heart was huge and it was something they learned quickly. Once you broke past the thick outer shell, there was fragile flesh and bones with the capacity to love harder than anyone they could ever know.

Maya was openly protective of them all, she was an empath by nature, she knew when something was wrong before they even said it. She received and projected (even without her telepathy) emotions to soothe them. This means there was really no personal space when it came to her. And, she learned to let them in her bubble, as much as she would normally try to keep space between her and other people, they often stepped in her comfort zone so she could allow them peace.

So, even if Lucas' skin prickled every time Farkle rolled into Maya or Zay laid his head on her knees just for the position, he couldn't say anything. That was the funny thing about being jealous. You couldn't really say anything without being a prick about it.

"We could do something for Thanksgiving." Riley offers, biting off the thread.

Zay looks up at her. "Like an 'anti-Thanksgiving' thing?"

"Yeah, you know. Nobody's really here except Feeny and Brennan, we're here by ourselves." Riley continues. "Lucas would cook of course. And we could all watch the game or something and not have weird, deep conversations about how we don't talk to our families anymore."

Maya agrees with her completely. "So, we should probably get the sappy, sweet crap out now."

Lucas coughs in his hand and finally says, "I'll go first. Ahem, I think you guys are pretty cool and I care about you and stuff."

"Y'all are the closest thing I've had to a family in a long time or whatever." Zay follows quickly and takes a swig of his water.

"I feel safe with you guys or something." Farkle mumbles into Maya thigh while she chuckles.

Riley focuses on securing the button on her jeans. "We're super close, you know? We're a freaking team or something."

Maya sighs and keeps her red colored pencil in her mouth as she whispers, "I love you."

Nobody moves and they wait for the moment to pass, letting everything they said sink in.

"Thanks." They all say in unison and continue on with what they were doing beforehand.

That night, Riley sleeps in Maya's room. Her bed is not too large, but they cram anyways because it's not as much about comfort as it is about _comfort_.

Riley's a bad sleeper and even though Maya would love to give her a hard kick to the shin every time she throws her foot on her, she can't stop thinking of how much it reminds her of Marnie.

That thought startles her and she pushes herself out of bed. Pulling on her socks and her black coat, Maya lets her tangled hair fall to her shoulders as she tiptoes out the room. She's unsure of where to go, and she settles for wandering around the school.

Doing her best not to get lost, Maya tries to make markers of every hall she passes through. It's a bit scary walking through the halls when she knows there's only a handful of people left in the entire school. Just as she's about to turn around and go back to her room, she hears a giggle and sees a flash of hair pass the corridor. Going against her better instincts, she follows the sound and she sees the empty hall, but _feels_ someone there. Shaking her head, Maya chalks it up to her imagination. But, right when she turns around to go back, her name is called. Turning around, she feels the temperature drop at least 20 degrees, and she's met with those brown eyes right in her face.

"Marnie?"

—

(Maya's insides are churning.)

—

Thanksgiving goes on without a hitch. They eat and pile in front of the TV all paying attention to the game, and Lucas listens while Maya and Riley explains the concept of football to Zay and Farkle. Lucas watches, feeling slightly disconnected. Ever the empath, Maya notices and gestures for him to move closer from his seat on the edge of the couch. He shuffles a bit, moving to her open side, the one not occupied by Riley.

The couch is large enough to seat them all comfortably, but much like Maya's bed, they all cram in close together. For a while they watch in complete silence, Lucas only half pays attention, he's more focused on his proximity to Maya. Logically, he knows it doesn't mean anything, because Farkle and Zay have been in similar positions, but he ignores that fact and thinks of how warm her skin is against arm.

She shifts for a while and then groans. "Lucas, your elbow is like right in my freaking ribs." Leaning over on Riley, she pulls his arm up from the space and sits closer to him, nearly fitting herself right into his side. His arm hangs off the back of the couch and he prays that she can't feel his heart hammering in his chest. Zay, of course, who sees everything, notices his friend's flushed face and snickers at him.

However, nobody else seems to notice.

They're all tangled body parts by the time the game ends, nobody's really sure where they end or where someone else begins and that's okay with them for a while. Thinking of themselves as one being instead of five separate bodies was much easier sometimes.

But, it comes again.

They're all connected skin to skin again, and it's much stronger now. Everyone freezes and looks around.

"Come out. Now." Riley speaks, her voice surprisingly firm and strong. "We know you're there."

Out of the corner of Farkle's eye, he sees a body move from the shadows of setting sun and he whips his head around. The rest of them follow in suit. Rising from the positions, they all stand on defense, unsure if this person is a threat or not.

"Who are you?" Maya asks.

It's a girl who appears to be their age. Her smile is shy and her voice is small. "My name is Isadora. Isadora Smackle."

"You don't go here." Zay states this like a fact, even though he's couldn't be sure if she did or not.

"No, I don't. I heard about this school from my therapist. I-I didn't think anyone would be here this weekend. Feeny didn't tell me that there would people here during Thanksgiving." Isadora explains. "I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you. I was unsure of whether or not I should introduce myself to the other Alphas."

Lucas looks at her incredulously. "You're an Alpha?" He doesn't mean to sound so skeptical, but from where he was standing she didn't look like too much. But, then again, he thought the same thing about Riley the first time he saw her and now he knows that she could kill him with the electricity from a light bulb. "Prove it."

Isadora only nods, completely complacent with what's being asked of her. Maya wants to quickly interject and tell that she has nothing to prove to them and her scolding for Lucas is on the tip of her tongue. However, Isadora acts first.

Rolling her neck, Isadora stares back at them, and they watch as her light brown eyes turn yellow. She walks back to where she was hiding and it appears as if she's disappeared completely. A pattering sound increases and they see Isadora moving swiftly up the wall and on to the ceiling. Her hair hangs down, and...is that a tail? Grinning, she crawls around the ceiling and hangs from an exposed rafter with only her tail.

Jumping down swiftly, Isadora smiles shyly looking back at her tail.

"I'm an Alpha." She proclaims as her eyes shift back to their normal color.

"Yeah, you are."

—

"Maya, I trust you enjoyed your holiday break?" Feeny asks as Maya takes a seat in front of him. He was making great progress with her, but something was still stopping him from going all the way. He wasn't sure if the was him or if it was still her. But, it couldn't possibly be her...not when he already put that issue on 'pause'.

Could there be a chance that it didn't work?

But, if there was Maya would be enraged. Or, maybe he simply underestimated Maya like Brennan said, and she was better at controlling herself than he originally diagnosed.

"I always enjoy celebrating the genocide of Native Americans." Maya deadpans looking at him in annoyance. "Why didn't you tell there was another Alpha?"

Feeny inhales and smiles. Maya's blunt and straight to the point, she doesn't dance around the topic, she asks for the answers she's looking for. "I wanted to introduce you guys after the break. I was waiting for the right time."

"I hate when people say that." She snorts, running a hand through her wild red mane. It had to have been a long time since she's had it trimmed. It used to stop at her waist, merely tickling the top of her seat. Now it grew down to her the middle of her rear, the entire ends sitting on her chair with her. "There's never a right time for anything."

He looks at her interest. "Do you truly believe there's never a right time?"

"Yeah, I kinda just said that." She rolls her eyes, and finally leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Which is very hypocritical of me to say, because I've been waiting for the right time to say this out loud. And there will never be one, so I'm just going to say it." Maya's hair curtains around her, covering half of her face. "I don't have my telepathy anymore. I know that you probably already know and everything. But, if you didn't know, now you do. I haven't had it for a while, and maybe it's gone forever, I really don't know."

She fights her way through her last sentence even though her throat's threatening to close up on her. Feeny's face remains passive for a few minutes and they sit in total silence as Maya swallows the lump and stares him down. She wants to show that she's still strong, even without it, and so she holds a deep, unwavering gaze.

Finally, Feeny leans forward, setting his cup on the table. "You're right. I did know. And, it's okay, Maya. That doesn't make you anymore or less of who you are. And you aren't going anywhere. We're still here to help you control your powers."

Maya takes a deep breath, the tension leaving her body with his confirmation of her permanent place here. "Thank you." She mumbles.

And then he puts a warm hand on her clasped ones.

And a thousand feelings, conversations, and memories tear their way through her at once.

 _"They can't be 'taken' from you."_

 _"I'll be in **touch**."_

 _"When you are ready, you will **feel** it."_

 _"They aren't gone, Maya."_

 _"Have patience, Maya."_

 _"They can't simply be 'lost'."_

 _"Just breathe."_

 _"Can you **feel** that?"_

 _"You're losing **touch**."_

Jumping up so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash, Maya back away from Feeny. "You!" Her voice doesn't even sound human. It's a low hiss from in her throat and the revelation is so plain, yet so startling. "You did it!"

"Maya—"

This time, she does it on purpose, or Phoenix does it on purpose. She's not sure. All she knows is she can hear different conversations between her and Feeny, and Feeny and Brennan, all pertaining to her telepathy. Then the memory comes clear as day, like a movie playing right in front of her eyes.

It's Feeny flipping through her mind, shutting off an entire portion of her powers, and everything's moving so fast it's giving her a headache. "I can't believe you! I trusted you!" Her telepathy feels like it's going into to overdrive to make up for the lost parts of herself. She can feel everything he's feeling, but's its amplified by ten and she still doesn't care. His memories are merging with the empty pieces in her own memories. The very day she lost her telepathy, right up to that very moment. It's a deep shooting pain hitting all portions of her brain, and she can't stop it.

Feeny gets up and begins walking towards her.

Backing up against the door, Maya puts her hands up. "Don't come near me." Except, it doesn't really feel like Maya anymore. She's more of a bystander, watching herself lose control. "Stay the hell out of my head." She throws Feeny against the hall and tears her way out of the room, making her way back to her room.

 _She really needs to get the hell out of this school._

* * *

 **Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays !**

 **This is a little present to break the long hiatus I put this story on. I've been dealing with work and my mid-terms recently and things have just been extremely hectic over here.**

 **I'm alright and thanks for being super patient.**

 **This looks kind of like a filler chapter, but it's not, and I also didn't proof bc I barely ever proof if it's more than 5k+ words, and this was 6k+, and it's three in the morning.**

 **And for some reason I'm thinking of making this story Markle/Zaley, I think...I don't really know.**

 **xoxoxo, Minnie**


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